50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

 Im finding writing a review of 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand exceedingly difficult. On one hand this game is
the very definition of mediocre. The level design is repetitive, the graphics are nearly as bad as a launch
title for the 360 and the character models and vehicle models are atrocious.

Yet for some reason I love this game, there’s this secret sauce in this games mix that leaves me enjoying
it immensely. There’s a sense of self awareness that permeates this title that allows it to get away
with the stupid things it does. What could have been a self centered overly serious platform for a self
centered overly serious artist to push his brand, instead turned into what I have to label as the definition
of video game camp.

The game starts with 50 Cent finishing up a rap concert in some unnamed middle eastern country (while
wearing a bullet proof vest, grenades and camouflage) only to be told that the organizer for the event
doesn’t have the money to pay him.

This is the only example I will need to give you for you to have an idea of what this game is like; after
being told this, 50 Cent, with out missing a beat, reaches off screen while still walking off stage, brings
into frame a 12 gauge shot gun and says, “lets get muh money.”

No exposition, no lead up, no real reason why he is strapped with grenades and a member of his posse
just happens to roll with a 12 gauge at 50s concerts. We are lead to expect that the world this concert
takes place in all these facts are common place.

Things only get stranger from that point on, in lieu of payment the organizer offers 50 a priceless skull
of some woman (not important, like nearly every aspect of this games story) covered in diamonds, he
accepts it and then it is immediately stolen in a street ambush. Of course when this ambush happens, 50
jumps from his vehicle with an assault rifle and in an action movie series of quick cuts kills everyone on
the street.

What really helps to keep this over the top story from ruining the experience is that there is a
technically competent 3rd person shooter under the hood. Shooting feels solid, the guns have a real
sense of impact to them and the cover system for the most part snaps to what you want it to snap to.

The game also offers Co-Op which allows a friend of yours to join in as a member of G-Unit. However
there is no further multiplayer option to be found. Though the thought of having eighteen 50 Cents
running around gunning each other down screaming about finding their skullz would be appealing to
me.

I don’t know if 50 Cent knew when this game was being made that the reason it would appeal
to so many was how stupid it was, but even so he should be proud of how fun it turned out. Any
short comings this game may have both technically and mechanically are very easily over come by
the shear fun of running around as a Rapper in some country mowing down hundreds of people
screaming “WHERES MUH SKULL!” Poetry.