If you could grow a lincoln beard

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#1 Posted by Killroycantkill (1558 posts) -

How would you use it to get chicks? I would just walk up to girls, rub the beard, then they would just be instantly be attracted to me.

#2 Posted by SuperJmad (35 posts) -

I'd hide stuff in it, stuff that chicks are into.... Like flowers and tampons

#3 Posted by DeShawn2ks (1091 posts) -
@Killroycantkill: Get a cool a** Lincoln suit and a cool a** Lincoln hat cock it to the side boom game over.
#4 Posted by ThePwnee (241 posts) -

Find the action figure.

#5 Posted by masterherocard (465 posts) -

save the world. Chicks dig a superhero
#6 Posted by BeondTheGrave (14 posts) -

the sheer majesty of the Lincoln beard would attract the women by itself. 
i speak from experience, of course.

#7 Posted by Lukeweizer (3106 posts) -

Save the world.

#8 Posted by Winelorf (16 posts) -

Flaunt it.

#9 Posted by Raakill (850 posts) -

Rock that shit, like metamorphic.

#10 Posted by Osha (28 posts) -

I would put a birds nest in it

#11 Posted by teh_pwnzorer (1492 posts) -

Fight alien Nazi zombies on the moon.

#12 Posted by Daveyo520 (7378 posts) -

"Hey baby, would you like to come back to my place for four scores?"

#13 Posted by Dejkrigeren (388 posts) -

I would hide a camera in it and secretly tape the cirque de soleil event... Wait what?

#14 Edited by aproposshadows (186 posts) -

Fight epic beard man and become the next epic beard man 

#15 Posted by MordeaniisChaos (5904 posts) -

I would use bacon powder to lure them in, then strangle them!

#16 Posted by Gamer_152 (14297 posts) -

I'd tell them how I heroically vanquished the Electronic Three.

#17 Edited by gesi1223 (242 posts) -

I'd mold it to look like one of those guys in beard modeling contest 

#18 Posted by AdSapien (122 posts) -

Beards are great for many things: Making mothers pull their children close when you walk by, looking like a street-person, and hiding coins and what-not for magic tricks.

#19 Posted by danimal_furry (1490 posts) -

Done and done. *shot to back of head* 

#20 Posted by CharlesAlanRatliff (5712 posts) -

Rub pheromones into it.

#21 Posted by adoggz (2081 posts) -

the hat is more effective than the beard

#22 Posted by dillonator (167 posts) -

I'm free the slaves.

#23 Posted by Yit (938 posts) -

I'd pet the beard like a pet cat. ON MY FACE!

#24 Posted by Box3ru13 (732 posts) -

would love a beard like that, but I don't know if it would attract the ladies per se. 

#25 Posted by Beomoose (730 posts) -
@Box3ru13: I thought All facial hair attracts women. Don't rob me of my illusions
#26 Posted by Cerogravian (382 posts) -

The mere presence of a chinstrap will force all the ladies to the Lincoln. The active use of a beard should never be taken lightly, that's how empires are crushed...

#27 Posted by TACOBOY (74 posts) -

have no clue 

#28 Posted by MartinG (176 posts) -

I would also wear a huge hat, that would make the women crazy!

#29 Posted by Lunar_Aura (2824 posts) -

Lincoln had a baller beard, alright. But have you seen this pimp sit on a bench? He sits like he owns the m*therfucking thing! 

#30 Posted by bigscottie (45 posts) -

For a while I actually had a bit of a Lincoln beard but because of work I had to shave it off.

#31 Edited by clarke0 (1082 posts) -

Put on the hat and walk with a cane.
EDIT: And stroll with my Lincoln Force posse.

#32 Posted by Sil3n7 (1346 posts) -
@BeondTheGrave said:
" the sheer majesty of the Lincoln beard would attract the women by itself.  i speak from experience, of course. "
Of course you are.
#33 Posted by TullyAckland (263 posts) -

Epic win

#34 Posted by Slax (1014 posts) -

Man I would hide a full open bar in there. For the ladies of course.

#35 Posted by lord_canti (1658 posts) -

simply be awsome ...that is all XD

#36 Posted by HS21 (2727 posts) -

It's where I would hide my secrets.

#37 Posted by Pessh (2505 posts) -
@SuperJmad said:
" I'd hide stuff in it, stuff that chicks are into.... Like flowers and tampons "
#38 Posted by WilliamRLBaker (4941 posts) -

Lincoln actually had a very short beard.

#39 Posted by kingjeff (10 posts) -

beards are contagious

#40 Posted by JackBauerCTU225 (143 posts) -
@adoggz said:
" the hat is more effective than the beard "
thats probably true
#41 Posted by Perspicacity1 (76 posts) -

You don't use the beard, the beard uses you.

#42 Posted by tranquilchaos (578 posts) -


#43 Posted by Whisperkill (3045 posts) -

I wouldn't need to, they would come to me

#44 Posted by YoungFrey (1363 posts) -

My father has had a solid Linclon beard my entire life.  Someday I may take up that mantle. 

#45 Posted by destruktive (1116 posts) -


#46 Posted by MiamiRedHawks (928 posts) -

I'd let the ladies stroke my beard.

#47 Posted by Rockdalf (1328 posts) -

I would use it to fight crime.

#48 Posted by ericmbee (28 posts) -

Run for president.

#49 Posted by NinjatheKid (80 posts) -

I would harness it's near limitless power to make Pluto a planet again. 

#50 Posted by MSX2 (45 posts) -

If I had a Lincoln beard, I would stroke it with such a force that my hands would bleed. I would use that blood to awaken Abraham from his eternal slumber, to bring about a new era of justice, equality and quality theater performances.

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