Somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow I received the following article in my inbox.  The date was some 10 years hence in 2020 (a  year where jokes about how well people are seeing run rampant across the interwebs) and covers a company that seems to be making all the wrong calls from a PR standpoint.  Enjoy. 
 
Bobby Kotick, ex-head of the video game publishing company Activision, was spotted last week at his job at a car wash in Seattle, Washington yesterday.  Though it seems amazing, this man once had control of what was once the biggest publishing franchise in the video game business, a position now held by mega-corporation 2K Square Enix EA Micro-Ubi-Soft Inc.  How did such a high ranking official destroy a company once known for such innovative games as Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Guitar Hero and Call of Duty fall so far and so fast? 
Activision's troubles began in the late part of 2010 (a time when people could see extremely well) when Infinity Ward, creators of the Call of Duty franchise, dissolved completely, having lost over 80% of their staff.  The remaining employees went to work for Treyacrh, but their hearts just weren't in it after producing Call of Duty: Conflict at Falkland Islands.  Soon after, following their lead, the once great franchise was usurped by the former Infinity Ward employees and their new studio, Respawn Entertainment, and their new game/experience/piece of art that has become so ubiquitous in our lives that naming it here is almost unnecessary.  Even acclaimed movie critic Roger Ebert, a long standing proponent against the "games as art" argument, wept in tears at the ending of the "game," stating, "It's so amazing, words fail me..." 
Truly the firing of Inifinity Ward heads Vince Zampella and Jason West had a marked effect on Activision, but it was just one of many mistakes in the company's history.  After butchering the skateboarding series with Tony Hawk Ride 2: Ride Harder, Neversoft quietly announced that it had gone bankrupt and left the video game industry completely.  They now make purses in Dubuque of varying quality (it is widely held that the peaked on the third iteration, but new models keep coming out every year). 
Finally, with only one annual franchise left to sustain them, Activision execs finally crossed a line when they announced Guitar Hero: Nickelback, thus causing a mass exodus not only from their Guitar Hero studios (they had 5 running at the time), but from the company as a whole.  Said one secretary in a now famous YouTube clip, "F*%$ you Mr. Kotick!  I'll not be filing your s&$^ anymore, nor answering your calls! "  The rest of the company left much more quietly, though it is rumored that many of them left flaming bags of dog crap on Mr. Kotick's front door step for years to come.  Some also egged his house, while others merely left Post Its on the window of his hover car, stating "How about Guitar Hero 9?  Think we should put it out just a week after #8?" 
Oh how the might have fallen.  For those interested in contacting Mr. Kotick, he works 8-6 most weekends and all day on weekdays at his car wash, Kotick's Kleen Kars.  His staff will clean your car fairly well once, then offer to do it again in 2 hours at a higher price. 
 
Startling isn't it?  Think it's real?  Or just a meta-joke?  Only time will tell how prophetic it will be... 
 
Oh, and feel free to read this on Bitmob.com as well.  Same title.

Somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow I received the following article in my inbox.  The date was some 10 years hence in 2020 (a  year where jokes about how well people are seeing run rampant across the interwebs) and covers a company that seems to be making all the wrong calls from a PR standpoint.  Enjoy. 
 
Bobby Kotick, ex-head of the video game publishing company Activision, was spotted last week at his job at a car wash in Seattle, Washington yesterday.  Though it seems amazing, this man once had control of what was once the biggest publishing franchise in the video game business, a position now held by mega-corporation 2K Square Enix EA Micro-Ubi-Soft Inc.  How did such a high ranking official destroy a company once known for such innovative games as Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Guitar Hero and Call of Duty fall so far and so fast? 
Activision's troubles began in the late part of 2010 (a time when people could see extremely well) when Infinity Ward, creators of the Call of Duty franchise, dissolved completely, having lost over 80% of their staff.  The remaining employees went to work for Treyacrh, but their hearts just weren't in it after producing Call of Duty: Conflict at Falkland Islands.  Soon after, following their lead, the once great franchise was usurped by the former Infinity Ward employees and their new studio, Respawn Entertainment, and their new game/experience/piece of art that has become so ubiquitous in our lives that naming it here is almost unnecessary.  Even acclaimed movie critic Roger Ebert, a long standing proponent against the "games as art" argument, wept in tears at the ending of the "game," stating, "It's so amazing, words fail me..." 
Truly the firing of Inifinity Ward heads Vince Zampella and Jason West had a marked effect on Activision, but it was just one of many mistakes in the company's history.  After butchering the skateboarding series with Tony Hawk Ride 2: Ride Harder, Neversoft quietly announced that it had gone bankrupt and left the video game industry completely.  They now make purses in Dubuque of varying quality (it is widely held that the peaked on the third iteration, but new models keep coming out every year). 
Finally, with only one annual franchise left to sustain them, Activision execs finally crossed a line when they announced Guitar Hero: Nickelback, thus causing a mass exodus not only from their Guitar Hero studios (they had 5 running at the time), but from the company as a whole.  Said one secretary in a now famous YouTube clip, "F*%$ you Mr. Kotick!  I'll not be filing your s&$^ anymore, nor answering your calls! "  The rest of the company left much more quietly, though it is rumored that many of them left flaming bags of dog crap on Mr. Kotick's front door step for years to come.  Some also egged his house, while others merely left Post Its on the window of his hover car, stating "How about Guitar Hero 9?  Think we should put it out just a week after #8?" 
Oh how the might have fallen.  For those interested in contacting Mr. Kotick, he works 8-6 most weekends and all day on weekdays at his car wash, Kotick's Kleen Kars.  His staff will clean your car fairly well once, then offer to do it again in 2 hours at a higher price. 
 
Startling isn't it?  Think it's real?  Or just a meta-joke?  Only time will tell how prophetic it will be... 
 
Oh, and feel free to read this on Bitmob.com as well.  Same title.