preachason's Alone in the Dark (Xbox 360) review

just eat my soul already (or whatever)

So having played through the first chapter of Alone in the Dark, the Atari update to the classic adventure game, I have only one thing to say.

I don't want to play this damn game.

Ok, so I have a few more things to say.

First of all, you just need to peruse the critics' scores on Metacritic to get a sense of the playability of this, um, thing. I think I like Team Xbox's abstract the best. Comparing it to a nice car without a functional engine:

Alone in the Dark is just that, a game going no place and with no reason in the world to suffer it.
Survival horror as a genre is interesting to play. Though not my favorite genre, I do remember the first Resident Evil on the PSOne, making my sister sit with me while I played and having to pause every 2 seconds to change my shorts. I had a similar feeling playing F.E.A.R. (the original, not the crappy sequels NOT made by Monolith), having to get up every couple of minutes to shake off the ooky feeling.

But this title made me feel ill. I don't mean grossed-out ill, I mean motion sickness, vertigo ill, and not from the tall building setting of the first level. Switching back and forth between bad 3rd-person (with an uncontrollable camera) to bad 1st-person in order to do certain tasks literally made me queasy.

I'll simplify it for you all. Don't play this game. It sucks. And I refuse to finish it.

EDIT: I didn't even mention the story. That's because I have no idea if it has one.
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Other reviews for Alone in the Dark (Xbox 360)

    For one thing it does right, it does twice as many wrong 0

      You can’t fault Alone in the Dark for its ambition or for its production values, but for everything else it attempts to do, it does it badly; for every unique innovation it presents, it almost always, unfailing, counterbalances it with something to piss you off. Alone in the Dark isn’t a total disaster, but neither is it any good. Fundamentally, the game is a cross between a traditional, third-person survival horror game (pre-Resident Evil 4) and a first-person shooter. While initially the g...

    3 out of 3 found this review helpful.

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