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Alan Wake 2 Isn't Alan Wake 2, But Some Other Nebulous Entity

It's not a sequel, and it's not DLC, but it's something. It's definitely something.

Yesterday, a number of sites (including us) reported on a resume listing that seemingly heralded the existence of Alan Wake 2, an as-of-then unannounced sequel to last year's psychological action horror game from Remedy Entertainment. This morning, Remedy responded to several of those reports (not ours...*sniff*...) with a confirmation of the game's existence... of sorts.

So reads Remedy's Statement:

Fans of the franchise will be excited to learn that yes, more Wake is coming! But to be absolutely certain to avoid confusion, this next Wake installment will not be Alan Wake 2. But neither will it be DLC. The rest we're saving for our official announcement when we'll actually SHOW YOU.

We are really excited about this project which a slice of our team has been working on for the last months. It's something that'll definitely give more to the Wake fans out there, but just as importantly, this installment will also give an opportunity for players who aren't familiar with the franchise to finally jump on board.

Yes, confusion has most certainly been avoided here.

Don't ask us, Alan. We're just as confused as you are.
Don't ask us, Alan. We're just as confused as you are.

So, to recap: It is not an Alan Wake sequel, nor is it a DLC offering for the first game. Rather, it is something new for fans of the property, but also something that new players can "jump on board" with. Is it a prequel? A Dark Athena-esque updated repackaging of the first game? The Alan Wake/Max Payne crossover we've always dreamed about? Does it have four legs, yet only one foot? If I figure this out, will The Riddler spare Commissioner Gordon's life?

Cryptic language aside, Remedy seems supremely excited about what they're working on, and promises we won't have to wait too terribly long to find out more.

We can't wait to show you more, bear with us. Release dates, platforms and pricing are unconfirmed as of yet, but Fall 2011 is probably a good guess. More coming soon!

I hereby decree a bounty upon this puzzlement! I want someone to slice this Gordian knot before Remedy makes its (seemingly) inevitable E3 announcement. First person in the comments of this story to guess correctly gets some profile points, a Whiskey t-shirt of their choosing (based on whatever we have lying around), and I promise to finally talk to someone about getting rid of that damnedable "first comment" quest.

Alex Navarro on Google+