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"Authentic" StarCraft Lessons: $25 An Hour

This is as gosu as it gets.

Apparently it's all StarCraft, all the time this week. I just caught sight of an amazing listing on Craigslist (San Francisco Bay Area edition) from a guy named ByunTae offering by-the-hour StarCraft lessons. He sure isn't shy about offering his qualifications:

I have advised and coached many professional gamers such as Im Jae Dong, Park Myung Soo, Ma Jae Yoon, and more. Boxer and I were great friends until he started using my dropships to gain his fame. I started training other players to be on par with Boxer and eventually surpassing Boxer. He is no longer the best player thanks to my contribution to rest of the players.


Um, yeah. OK! So what will your $25/hour (or $35 for advanced lessons) get you? Here's what ByunTae will be teaching.

  • Micro management (unit management) 
  • Macro management (unit production and economy) 
  • Map specific strategies 
  • Basic and Advanced strategies and build orders for all three races. 
  • In-game bugs to be used to your advantage such as unit stack, stop lurkers, etc. 
  • Counter strategies and perfect attack timings. 
  • Learn Korean lango, like "chobo" "gosu" "ww" etc 
  • Basic Korean to communicate with Koreans on battle.net 
  • Unit details, their size and their pros/cons against other units 
  • My signature cannon rush along with my signature cheese rush (boxer learned it from me)

Oh yeah, there's always the "Chance to become a professional gamer in Korea - Celebrity status, especially for foreigners." Don't forget about that part. Then again, with madness like this to look forward to, maybe you could stand to brush up on your skills.

 




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Posted by Brad

Apparently it's all StarCraft, all the time this week. I just caught sight of an amazing listing on Craigslist (San Francisco Bay Area edition) from a guy named ByunTae offering by-the-hour StarCraft lessons. He sure isn't shy about offering his qualifications:

I have advised and coached many professional gamers such as Im Jae Dong, Park Myung Soo, Ma Jae Yoon, and more. Boxer and I were great friends until he started using my dropships to gain his fame. I started training other players to be on par with Boxer and eventually surpassing Boxer. He is no longer the best player thanks to my contribution to rest of the players.


Um, yeah. OK! So what will your $25/hour (or $35 for advanced lessons) get you? Here's what ByunTae will be teaching.

  • Micro management (unit management) 
  • Macro management (unit production and economy) 
  • Map specific strategies 
  • Basic and Advanced strategies and build orders for all three races. 
  • In-game bugs to be used to your advantage such as unit stack, stop lurkers, etc. 
  • Counter strategies and perfect attack timings. 
  • Learn Korean lango, like "chobo" "gosu" "ww" etc 
  • Basic Korean to communicate with Koreans on battle.net 
  • Unit details, their size and their pros/cons against other units 
  • My signature cannon rush along with my signature cheese rush (boxer learned it from me)

Oh yeah, there's always the "Chance to become a professional gamer in Korea - Celebrity status, especially for foreigners." Don't forget about that part. Then again, with madness like this to look forward to, maybe you could stand to brush up on your skills.

 




Staff
Edited by FlamingHobo

I'm not paying $25 an hour so someone can force feed me their playstyle of a game.
Honestly, I find it pointless the lengths some people will go to be good at games.

Edit: Nice 100th post Brad.

Posted by The_A_Drain

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I'm not sure if I want, or I want to kill myself after hearing this.

Posted by DerekDanahy

That's pretty ridiculous.

Posted by Pie

Is it free?

Posted by WitchHunter_Z

Wow... amazingly I bet people will actually pay for this crap.

Posted by Inf225

This is awesome... but I have a question... who the hell is boxer?

Posted by Krenor

I'm in!

or am I?...

Posted by fillmoejoe

He's Korean so it's official.

Posted by NoXious

I love how he stabs at Boxer constantly, making claims of him owning certain strategies etc. As if he patented it all XD

Posted by NickM
@Pie said:
" Is it free? "
Is it personalized?
Posted by The_A_Drain
@Inf225 said:
"

This is awesome... but I have a question... who the hell is boxer?

"



Posted by babblinmule

The more I learn about professional starcraft, the more i lose faith in humanity....

Posted by phlegms

Woah, my mind just got blown a little bit..

Posted by Seraphim84

For the record, ByunTae (the guy's "name") translates to pervert in Korean.  So, um, watch for the chloroform with this guy.

Edited by stinky

I'm offering lessons in 2600 version of Pitfall.


Topics include :
Jumping, Jumping over logs, Jumping on Alligator heads, and Jumping to avoid tar pits.

Advanced techniques include  3 consecutive alligator head jumps, as well as knowing when to grab a vine.
Posted by pornstorestiffi

People can make money of everything these days.

Posted by PJ
@stinky said:
"I'm offering lessons in 2600 version of Pitfall.

Topics include :
Jumping, Jumping over logs, Jumping on Alligator heads, and Jumping to avoid tar pits.

Advanced techniques include  3 consecutive alligator head jumps, as well as knowing when to grab a vine.
"

Seriously? I'm in! But I will only pay you no more then $150/hour.
Posted by Jeff
@stinky said:
" I'm offering lessons in 2600 version of Pitfall.

Topics include :
Jumping, Jumping over logs, Jumping on Alligator heads, and Jumping to avoid tar pits.

Advanced techniques include  3 consecutive alligator head jumps, as well as knowing when to grab a vine.
"
Do you teach the elusive "just run to the left" technique I've heard so much about?
Staff
Posted by Jambones
@NoXious said:
"

I love how he stabs at Boxer constantly, making claims of him owning certain strategies etc. As if he patented it all XD

"
For the advanced classes, he's even offering a bootleg of Boxer's DVD imported from Korea... It runs deep, apparently.
Posted by Grim_Fandango

I prefer to make my own strategies, using somebody elses means if you come up against them, they will know how to counter it.

Experiementing is the best way to learn and strategize.

Posted by FlipperDesert
@NoXious said:
"

I love how he stabs at Boxer constantly, making claims of him owning certain strategies etc. As if he patented it all XD

"
BOXER STOP STEALING MY DROPSHIPS YOU JERK I MAAAAADE YOUUUUUU!
Posted by MrGetBonus

Eh, I think it's the same basic idea with people paying for lessons for sports and other things. You don't really need them and you can just practice but it can still help. The ad is pretty funny though.

Posted by FlamingHobo
@Grim_Fandango said:
" I prefer to make my own strategies, using somebody elses means if you come up against them, they will know how to counter it.Experiementing is the best way to learn and strategize. "
Very well said.
Posted by nekoNari
@Seraphim84:
"For the record, ByunTae (the guy's "name") translates to pervert in Korean.  So, um, watch for the chloroform with this guy."

I was about to say... I'd steer clear of this one. :|
Posted by JJOR64

*facepalm*

Edited by Bigandtasty

this man smells of lies - hell, he's probably trolling (for those who are thinking this is serious).


That whole list of things (except maybe learning korean) can be found on any good SC site; I always figured the whole "professional training" thing is for competitive people who know the game already and have plateaued.
Posted by KillaMaStA

I bet he is a rapist who is trying to get small children to come over to his place.

Posted by MeatSim

Getting payed to teach someone how to play video games? I gotta get in on this business.

Posted by SoulEdgeSlayer

Best quote from this!

"I'm 100% full blooded Korean, meaning I have been gifted with unparallel talent to master any video game, particularly, Starcraft: Brood War."

That made me laugh. Thanks, Brad!

Posted by DeadMan
@Seraphim84:

lol....scary.
Posted by Alphazero

Man, Ultralisk rushes are so cheap.

Looks like it's almost time for me to buy a new PC.

Posted by Out_On_Bail

Can't blame him for trying I guess.  Crazy if someone takes the offer though.

Posted by geekbot

In the spirit of good investigative journalism, I say Brad should sign up for a lesson and let us know how it is!


I know to most people the idea sounds pretty ludacris, but if you're serious about playing on a competitive level, why not? People take one-on-one lessons in all sorts of things. Take learning the guitar. You could just as easily argue that you could sit down, and learn to play the guitar by yourself - as good as any teacher is, in the end it all boils down to practice, practice and more practice, right? But a good teacher can at least point you in the right direction.
Edited by Evernix

God damnit I facepalmed so hard at this...jesus christ. I mean, come on, really? Who are these people?

Posted by Player1
"Basic Korean to communicate with Koreans on battle.net " :D
Posted by darkjester74

More repulsive is the thought that someone might actually sign up for this tripe.  Ugh...

Posted by agentboolen

This is the funniest, FUNNIEST thing I have ever heard of, I can't stop laughing, its too the point its hurting.  i give him credit to post this and hope to get some students, but man i have no interested in Starcraft and would never pay someone to get lessons in a game.... oh yea like this guy is going to give you the skills to be the best!

Posted by KirillOrlov
@Seraphim84 said:
" For the record, ByunTae (the guy's "name") translates to pervert in Korean.  So, um, watch for the chloroform with this guy. "
SOLD! If learning the game wasn't enough!
Posted by Jabronie

This isn't too suprising, a college in Berkeley has/had a starcraft class.

Posted by MaddProdigy

hahaha thats rediculously epic fail

funny for a hundreth post, props
Posted by TheHBK

Wont this be useless when StarCraft 2 comes out, well some parts anyway like the map specific stuff?

Posted by Jtan21

Hey, if you get the advanced package, you get a bootleg DVD. Awesome!

Posted by Crono

This has been going on for a very, very long time.

Posted by Media_Master

this is ridiculous

Posted by BenderUnit22

If he's so good, why isn't he playing in Korea then?

Posted by ArbitraryWater

"I'm offering my expertise in Starcraft to be taught to non-Koreans that wishes to have the skill of a Korean player"
Wow, what a racist prick. Guess what? Nobody cares about StarCraft outside of Korea. Sure, there are a few thousand people who still play on the US server, but at this point learning how to play the game well (especially when the sequel is about to come out) is completely inconsequential. Unless you live in Korea.

Edited by Bigandtasty

again guys, this is obviously a joke


just look at lines like these

 -  Bragging rights, that you're as good as a Korean in Starcraft
- You will be called a hacker because you're so good.
- Korean girls will be intrigued that you're such a good Starcraft player.


Posted by McQuinn

Wha...!?  I  don't eve...n kno... Wha!?

Posted by killdave

For a game that is taken so seriously this isnt strange at all.

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