Giant Bomb News


"Authentic" StarCraft Lessons: $25 An Hour

This is as gosu as it gets.

Apparently it's all StarCraft, all the time this week. I just caught sight of an amazing listing on Craigslist (San Francisco Bay Area edition) from a guy named ByunTae offering by-the-hour StarCraft lessons. He sure isn't shy about offering his qualifications:

I have advised and coached many professional gamers such as Im Jae Dong, Park Myung Soo, Ma Jae Yoon, and more. Boxer and I were great friends until he started using my dropships to gain his fame. I started training other players to be on par with Boxer and eventually surpassing Boxer. He is no longer the best player thanks to my contribution to rest of the players.

Um, yeah. OK! So what will your $25/hour (or $35 for advanced lessons) get you? Here's what ByunTae will be teaching.

  • Micro management (unit management) 
  • Macro management (unit production and economy) 
  • Map specific strategies 
  • Basic and Advanced strategies and build orders for all three races. 
  • In-game bugs to be used to your advantage such as unit stack, stop lurkers, etc. 
  • Counter strategies and perfect attack timings. 
  • Learn Korean lango, like "chobo" "gosu" "ww" etc 
  • Basic Korean to communicate with Koreans on 
  • Unit details, their size and their pros/cons against other units 
  • My signature cannon rush along with my signature cheese rush (boxer learned it from me)

Oh yeah, there's always the "Chance to become a professional gamer in Korea - Celebrity status, especially for foreigners." Don't forget about that part. Then again, with madness like this to look forward to, maybe you could stand to brush up on your skills.


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Posted by Guillotine

Everything he says, and I mean just about every sentence, is making fun of things that are esoteric to the StarCraft community, right down to the race specific training being cheapest for Protoss. It's just a long-winded joke with no intent to actually give lessons to anyone.

Posted by leviathan

not sure its been said, but being korean myself, i can say that byuntae means pervert in korean lol

Edited by MrKlorox

Sweet. Now my iGoogle RSS reader shows quotation marks as quotation marks instead of &quot

I wonder what the ampersand looks like now.

Edited by chickendoughnut

HAHA ByunTae means Pervert in Korean

Posted by Kalisynth

wasnt there a Pwned(or whatever that was called) thingy on this?

i remember seeing some sort of episode where the guy gets owned then must train rocky style by some random 'ultimate' starcraft micromanagement master?

Posted by End_Boss
@TheHBK said:
" Wont this be useless when StarCraft 2 comes out, well some parts anyway like the map specific stuff? "
This offer has been proven to be entirely fake. However, to answer your question: should a Starcraft player be interested in offering lessons to other players for a fee, no, they will not go out of business with the release of Starcraft 2. I imagine the competitive circuits for Starcraft will thrive for many years to come, in the same way Street Fighter II and III circuits do despite the existence of Street Fighter IV.

Also, to all the chuckleheads in here spouting off about how ridiculous it is for someone to pay for advanced technique lessons on a video game: how is this at all different from receiving lessons or attending workshops pertaining to any other hobby? I personally wouldn't pay any amount of money for instruction on a video game, but I don't think it's as unreasonable as everyone seems to be claiming for some to desire such a thing. I think if you consider yourself to be a high level Starcraft competitor (or desire to become one) there's no reason you shouldn't at least consider taking lessons.
Posted by giyanks22
@Seraphim84 said:
" For the record, ByunTae (the guy's "name") translates to pervert in Korean.  So, um, watch for the chloroform with this guy. "
No wonder North Korea is trying to launch missiles at South Korea.
How are Starcraft players celebrities????
What is the world coming to.... Why did we even fight in the Korean War, if we're going to let them idolize gamers....instead of promoting democracy and military strengthening.
Posted by Southgrove

I just had a great idea, how about a StarCraft endurance run with brad and this gosu guy?

Posted by Raven_Sword

I see even in Tough Economic times like this, idiots can still find a way to waste money.