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108 Comments

Donkey Kong Country's Pre-Order Bonus Is a Banana Pouch

You know, I've always wanted my controller to be wrapped up in some kind of fruit.

Have you ever looked at your Wii remote and said, "Man, I'd really like to have a banana pouch to hold you." If you have, you're weird, OK? But you're also in luck. It appears as if Nintendo will cater to you in exactly the way you always wanted: by releasing a banana pouch for your controller. Go ahead, look at the banana pouch. Observe the rich color, the zipper, and… oh, yeah, the writing on the side.  
  


Yeah, you'll have to jump through a big hoop if you're into banana pouches. The only way to get one, according to this GameStop listing (via Joystiq), is by pre-ordering Retro Studios' promising-looking Wii-exclusive Donkey Kong Country Returns. Now, I suppose you need to ask yourself if a Wii Remote-holding banana pouch is worth $50. It is, right? 

I suppose, at the end of the day, you could always find a similar and cheaper banana pouch over at Etsy. There are all kinds of people peddling their basement creations on that site. And, really, let's not take offense to that--dudes who make banana pouches for controllers are bound to be slightly off. Just a little.   
107 Comments Refresh
Posted by BradNicholson

Have you ever looked at your Wii remote and said, "Man, I'd really like to have a banana pouch to hold you." If you have, you're weird, OK? But you're also in luck. It appears as if Nintendo will cater to you in exactly the way you always wanted: by releasing a banana pouch for your controller. Go ahead, look at the banana pouch. Observe the rich color, the zipper, and… oh, yeah, the writing on the side.  
  


Yeah, you'll have to jump through a big hoop if you're into banana pouches. The only way to get one, according to this GameStop listing (via Joystiq), is by pre-ordering Retro Studios' promising-looking Wii-exclusive Donkey Kong Country Returns. Now, I suppose you need to ask yourself if a Wii Remote-holding banana pouch is worth $50. It is, right? 

I suppose, at the end of the day, you could always find a similar and cheaper banana pouch over at Etsy. There are all kinds of people peddling their basement creations on that site. And, really, let's not take offense to that--dudes who make banana pouches for controllers are bound to be slightly off. Just a little.   
Posted by Fogh

Banana Mouth
Posted by FinalDasa

What? Why? 
No yellow controller this time?! 
 
mad banana mouth

Moderator
Posted by TheHT

that's... weird.

Posted by The_Laughing_Man

First the wii condom and now this....anyone else picking up a strange vibe? 

Posted by wolf_blitzer85

Makes sense, considering the game. Then again, who is going to be that anal to have to keep their wii controller in a pouch?
 
Preorder stuff is dumb, but you can't beat free (with a preorder of course) banana pouches.

Posted by iamtirrrred
@The_Laughing_Man said:
" First the wii condom and now this....anyone else picking up a strange vibe?  "
LOL!!
Posted by Binman88

I've been needing a pouch for my banana. 

Posted by demontium

perfect.

Posted by MisterMouse
@Binman88 said:
" I've been needing a pouch for my banana.  "
This
Posted by NekuCTR

don't put your snacks in there or your gonna get some mad Banana Mouth.

Posted by TaliciaDragonsong

You know, I actually prefer this over some ingame armor or weapon or even entire maps and levels.

Posted by Hailinel

GLORIOUS BANANA HAMMOCK.

Posted by Forderz

SOLD!  I was just saying to myself: "damn my wiimotes sure are dusty.  I know I'm going to play the shit out of DKC when it comes out, but soon they'll just be collecting dust again.  What should I do?"  Now, I can just slid them in my handy banana pouch.

Posted by Landon

At least its not exclusive power armor for Donkey Kong.

Posted by CL60

I have one question. Will this banana pouch fit an actual banana inside?

Posted by deerhaunter

huh? I thought this was going to be a wiiware game...

Posted by ThePilgrums

Is a banana pouch anything like a banana hammock? Because I already own like 30 of those...

Posted by Scrawnto

For a second I thought the pre-order bonus was a banana hammock. Oddly enough, Donkey Kong would actually be creepier with a banana hammock than he is naked, probably because it would imply the presence of genitals that he currently does not have.

Posted by cinemandrew

For some reason, I find this totally awesome. I don't think I'd have much use for it though, since my wii-motes never leave my house.

Posted by ajamafalous

Oh, that kind of banana pouch.

Posted by CL60
@deerhaunter said:
" huh? I thought this was going to be a wiiware game... "
..why would it be a Wiiware game? Was New Super Mario Bros Wii a Wiiware game? No it wasn't.
Posted by Genjai
@ajamafalous said:
" Oh, that kind of banana pouch. "
blast. you took my comment.
Posted by big_jon

Sweet, yet stupid.
Posted by SuperJoe

Someone, somewhere will stash their weed in this.

Posted by habster3
@The_Laughing_Man said:
"First the wii condom and now this....anyone else picking up a strange vibe?  "
Which was the wii condom again?
Posted by ImperiousRix

Can I put a banana in this banana pouch? 
Thus making it a banana banana pouch?

Posted by evil_gordita

Man, this is totally bananas.

Posted by Hailinel
@CL60 said:
" @deerhaunter said:
" huh? I thought this was going to be a wiiware game... "
..why would it be a Wiiware game? Was New Super Mario Bros Wii a Wiiware game? No it wasn't. "
Some people seem to have gotten this idea in their heads that modern side-scrolling platformer = downloadable game.
 
"I CAN'T MOVE IN 3D SPACE WHY DO I NEED TO SPEND MONEY ON A DISC FOR THIS SHIT?!!111"
Posted by Dalai

I haven't pre-ordered a game since Super Mario Galaxy. I am so tempted.

Posted by TheGreatGuero

How awesome!

Posted by DeadMonkeys

If a banana pops up on the screen, simply whack it off!

Posted by Scooper
@ImperiousRix said:
" Can I put a banana in this banana pouch? Thus making it a banana banana pouch? "
If a SWAT team smashes through your window any minute and guns you to death don't blame me.
Posted by InternHertz

Mh, do not want :(

Posted by AURON570

it's yellow, it is automatically awesome.

Posted by TheMasterDS

I have it preordered, so I guess I'm getting a banana pouch. Neat.

Posted by GS_Dan

This makes me lovesick.

Posted by StarErik

A yellow Wii remote would have been more awesome, like when DK64 was released.

Posted by artofwar420

So, if I put this banana pouch in my mouth, is that called.... banana pouch mouth?

Posted by lofpbplayer

DO not want.
Posted by MeatSim

Can I eat it?

Posted by Allison

Bananas for me are a religion, and Donkey Kong is the SHIT.

Posted by vr00m

Awww, was hoping for a hammock, not a pouch.

Posted by JeffGoldblum
@Fogh said:
" Banana Mouth "
Posted by MrKlorox

As if the Wiimote wasn't phallic enough to begin with.

Posted by m0v1ngtarg3t

I wonder if this comes with a free pack of banana mouth?
Posted by Daniel_Newton
@Fogh said:
" Banana Mouth "
This is the perfect first comment for this article. Well done.
Posted by Daniel_Newton

Also, that banana pouch would go with the Diddy Kong teddy/plushy I won at a fun fair. I almost want one now.
 
Almost.

Posted by ElBarto

Looks rather pointless to me other than the using it for travel purposes just be sure to not put it in your pants.