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Giant Bomb & Cards Against Humanity Team Up

And humanity doesn't stand a goddamn chance.

In case you missed it during our PAX Prime 2012 panel, we recently announced a loving, trust-based partnership with our friends behind the incredibly distasteful parlour game Cards Against Humanity, with a limited-edition Giant Bomb-themed expansion pack as the expected fruit of this eldritch coupling. For those not already familiar with Cards Against Humanity--either from its multiple Thursday Night Throwdown appearances or its generally increasing cultural profile--it's essentially Apples to Apples or Mad Libs, but calibrated with Swiss precision for a nuclear brinksmanship level of offensiveness. So, you know, right up our alley.

As with the core Cards Against Humanity experience, crowdsourcing ideas for new cards for our expansion pack is an important part of the process, which is where you come in. There's a special page already up at Cards Against Humanity Dot Com where you can submit your stupid ideas--ideas that we will, no doubt, mock derisively when the Giant Bomb and Cards Against Humanity staffs (staves?) meet up to decide which cards will make the cut.

Feel free to submit any of your favorite Giant Bomb references, or just whatever funny, absurd, random, offensive thing that springs to mind, though know that one of our main goals here is to make an expansion worthy of one of our favorite games that'll be fun to play, even for those who don't know why that deer is wearing a wrestling mask, and don't care. (Example: me!)

Either way, whoever wins, we lose.

187 Comments

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orangefisk

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EpsilonSE

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Edited By EpsilonSE

Come on guys: "Horse meet rider. Rider, meet horse"

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Jico

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Edited By Jico

Coagulated menstruation.

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jeffrud

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Edited By jeffrud

"A Sonic the Hedgehog themed wedding"

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ImmortalSaiyan

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Edited By ImmortalSaiyan

I wanna know when Ryan and them will go over these. Did they say that they are going to record themselves going over all the cards?

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felixculpa

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Edited By felixculpa

White Cards:

"God fucking dammit"

"My Spouse"

"Packing peanuts"

"A bust of Jeff Gertsmann"

Black Cards:

"If I were to get in a fight and I knew the opponent had the opposite weapon of what I picked I'd pick [Blank] over [Blank]"

"I am a [Blank] and this is fucked up"

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petitfool

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Edited By petitfool

Some more stupid ideas I thought of while staring vacantly in my Poetry class: -blue waffles -apologetic pillow talk -furry conventions -diaper play -somalian pirates -drinking sperm for protein purposes -activating my trap card -inflation -never not exploding -footsies

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devitiffany

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Edited By devitiffany

A business of ferrets

After Starscream failed Megatron for the last time, he promoted _______ to be his second in command.

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Oni

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Edited By Oni

GB memes are kind of dumb, but I tried to submit some that also work if you don't know about them.

Black card: ___ leads to intimacy

White card: Being able to see their panties

These, incidentally, go pretty well together I think!

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MrCosmo

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Edited By MrCosmo

@Sharpshooter said:

@MrCosmo said:

Will there be any way to make these card sets available for us over in the UK? Amazon won't ship the current sets outside the US.

Yeah the CAH site only has listings for America and Canada. I want to get a set of these for my Christmas party this year and they don't seem to ship to Ireland. I know I can just download the pdf and print a set but I have a personal thing about never taking a quality product for free.

Yeah I know what you mean about wanting to give the devs some money . I did print off a set from the PDf and had a lot of fun with some friends. I just really want to be able to buy the ligit card sets as well as the expansions plus the Giant Bomb set when it comes out. It's such an awesome product I just want to be able to pay them as a thank you.

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Nitrocore

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Edited By Nitrocore

Some more white card Ideas I just posted:

A series of unfortunately placed tents.

Posing as a Police officer to steal a strangers cat.

Cryogenically frozen testicles

Olympic imposters

Marauding Naturists

Pole vaulting over a Neighbours fence

Pumping raw sewage into a local hospital

Both kidneys, straight swap

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Agent_Eli

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Edited By Agent_Eli

In my world, the GB CAH set only has one white card:

DMX.

and it wins every time.

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Nitrocore

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Edited By Nitrocore

My white card ideas, some of them are pretty long.

The regretful taste of a left over Sandwhich.

Dancing in a cloud of anemic Bees.

Stuffing every orifice with half-eaten tomatoes

Trying to tear your penis off while shouting at a group of uneducated farm-hands.

Dipping a set of recently purchased Bongo Drums, in last nights drunken projectile vomit.

Lifting a set of weights only to find your arms no longer attached.

Slapping a fish from the undeserving beak of a Pelican

I might send some more in, although I'm sure they've got far too many already.

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lonestar

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Edited By lonestar

Copyright Infringement be damned:

Lincoln Money Shot

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Bourbon_Warrior

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Edited By Bourbon_Warrior

Britney Crotch Shot

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Korax

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Edited By Korax

My friends and I play with a good number of custom cards. Hopefully I don't break something when I dump them all in that form.

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Ramone

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Edited By Ramone

Wasn't the whole point that it wasn't supposed to just be GB memes?

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BBAlpert

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Edited By BBAlpert

I've submitted 2 so far, but can only remember one of them.

Inspired by Jeff's railing against the overuse of zombie babies in horror games from one of the GotY Deliberation casts, I submitted "A tiny coffin"

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Brewmaster_Andy

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Edited By Brewmaster_Andy

I submitted "A drawer full of steam-powered mechanical dildos" and "Licking your own nipple"

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Christoffer

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Edited By Christoffer

Cool, but if "Genital Triangle" doesn't make it. I want no part of this

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Dagbiker

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Edited By Dagbiker

That asshole Nolan North.

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outerabiz

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If I should die before I wake, pray the Lord _____ to take

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Dagbiker

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Edited By Dagbiker

Emails.

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bigstupidface

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Edited By bigstupidface

Oh and

transfarring

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bigstupidface

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Edited By bigstupidface

When there's nothing left to believe in, believe in _____.

Oh shit! Oh Shit oh shit oh shit, I think I just ran over ______.

#crackingwise

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Purple_eye

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Edited By Purple_eye

My black card ideas.

"In my new game you must fight off wave after wave of _________ in order to save _________."

Brad Muir once told me "These days, if you want your game to succeed it has to include _________"

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landon

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Edited By landon

@m2cks said:

Being the kid who's uncle's in Nintendo

I like this one a lot, but it's a little too wordy and kind of hard to say.

I think it should be changed to:

"Being the kid who's uncle works at Nintendo"

"Knowing the kid who's uncle works at Nintendo"

or, more simply,

"My uncle works for Nintendo"

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dillonj9889

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Edited By dillonj9889

Stop complaining and put it in your body already.

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IanBear

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Edited By IanBear

CHINA DONT CARE

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FlyingRoman

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Edited By FlyingRoman

Roses are red

Violets are blue

________

________

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TiE23

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Edited By TiE23

@Rox360 said:

Not surprised to see some really poor ideas showing up! The worst offenders are the attempts at blanking out the punchlines of references that are only funny because of the punchline. Meaning they will never end up funny. I'm admit it's really difficult to come up with good stuff, though. I find it helps to keep the name of the game in mind. It's Cards Against Humanity, so get your filthy, offensive and inappropriate on!

Yeah, seriously. I only know one guy in person who'd get even half of these jokes: my brother. So in the mean time, make them so that regular jerk-offs can get it. I don't want this to be a bunch of MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS in my expansion deck, stuff I need to either explain or just say "just grab something else" to my uncle or to my classmate.

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Chumm

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Edited By Chumm

Twincest.

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rox360

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Edited By rox360

Not surprised to see some really poor ideas showing up! The worst offenders are the attempts at blanking out the punchlines of references that are only funny because of the punchline. Meaning they will never end up funny. I'm admit it's really difficult to come up with good stuff, though. I find it helps to keep the name of the game in mind. It's Cards Against Humanity, so get your filthy, offensive and inappropriate on!

In other news, I'm unproportionally excited about this collaboration and I hope it turns out as amazing as it deserves to be!

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alwaysbeclothing

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Edited By alwaysbeclothing

Vinny "Casually Racist" Caravella approves of this idea!

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kerse

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Edited By kerse

@Dtat said:

@AlexanderSheen said:

Submitted this as a black card:

Giant Bomb is the world’s largest editable video game database. We're into _______, _______, and viewers like you.

This is the one Giant Bomb reference that should be made into a card. Well done, sir!

Agreed that one's great.

I submitted: a steak made of shit. Its the only thing I could think of that happened on the bombcast that might still be funny to people who don't go to giantbomb.

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devitiffany

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Edited By devitiffany

Failed mustache attempts

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ShadowConqueror

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Edited By ShadowConqueror

I would hate to be the person who has to go through all of those submissions. Having to read all the poorly written Giant Bomb in-jokes and memes over and over would drive me nuts. Judging by this and other threads, there are a lot of submissions that don't work or are just plain terrible. I'm not saying mine were that great, but man, put some thought into it people.

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devitiffany

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Edited By devitiffany

So far I've got:

Getting a handjob in the parking lot of a Gamestop

Livestreaming your ride home from work

Continuously supporting a failing downloadable service in hopes one or two good games are released on it

When Sony unveils it's new video game console, it will be sold for 599 ______

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D_W

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Edited By D_W

I've submitted soooooo many. I really hope they release a full list of the submitted suggestions.

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pandashake

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Edited By pandashake

The meat dimension

The biggest, blackest dick

Fucking Yoshis

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EvilKatarn

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Edited By EvilKatarn

"Jeff's Creeper Cam"

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Okrag

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Fake Nazis

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petitfool

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Edited By petitfool

Here's some of my dumb ideas:

Hackers on steroids

Being the kid who's uncle's in Nintendo

A mother's swollen teat

forgetting the safeword

Discreetly mailed dragon dildos

Seasonal themed fleshlights

Supersoaking dat hoe

Fursecution

The Konami Code

Crazy cat ladies

Those fucking medusa heads

Disgruntled Apple fanboys

Celebrating your birthday on 9/11

EXTREME 360 NOSCOPE MONTAGES

Who's that Pokemon? It's _!

It's insane how much fun coming up with these are.

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axx1000

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Edited By axx1000

Black:

Worth human in the world?

White:

Ryan Davis (certified narc)

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aceofspudz

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Edited By aceofspudz

Black:

Anime is for _______.

White:

WAPPY DOG.

Lang Zone.

Hidden comedic potential of colorblindness.

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Dagbiker

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Edited By Dagbiker

Pretty much anything from those CAVE bullet hell games. ( the ones with the 12 year old girls in the mini skirts )

Nothing stops the _______________.

Trenchedaverse.

E3 Mysteries.

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dietmango

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Edited By dietmango

White card submissions:

Bufu.

Naked cartoon pussy.

The golden duder.

Hardcore Dave.

Koobama.

Shaving/tickling Peter Molyneux's liver-spotted/zombie balls.

Making sweet love from the back.

Repeatedly shaking the baby.

Jeff Creeper Cam.

EDIT: This is my 1000th post on GB. Nice to know I used it to contribute to the site. I feel good about myself.

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MONOLITHIC_ERECTION

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Is Shit on a Shingle already a card?