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Homeless Sims Sleep Where They Want, Smell Funny

A blog devoted to a pair of Sims 3 vagabonds tells a surprisingly cohesive tale.

Haha! The homeless girl smells funny! Woo!
Interesting reading on the subject of The Sims 3 comes to us via Pyso this afternoon. It's "Alice and Kev," a blog run by someone named Robin Burkinshaw. Here's Robin's words to describe the project:
I have attempted to tell my experiences with the minimum of embellishment. Everything I describe in here is something that happened in the game. What’s more, a surprising amount of the interesting things in this story were generated by just letting go and watching the Sims’ free will and personality traits take over.
For a collection of captioned screenshots of The Sims 3, it manages to be a fascinating take on the ridiculously popular PC game. The homeless duo keep looking for beds, fall asleep on the street, and manage to get hauled off for staying out after curfew. Here's the text portion of one entry to give you a better idea:
Kev has come up with a new trick. He’s started to sneak up on Alice and scare her. I sent her off to the school playground to get away from Kev, and after napping on the bench, she had to stop and have a cry again. Then she crawled up into the climbing frame to hang out. She finds just sitting up there a little bit of a thrill, which is helping to reduce her stress. But she’s been staying out past curfew, and now the police have come to round her up. I’m not sure what the wrench is for.
Two things. First, there's a curfew in The Sims 3? What kind of weird-ass police state are they running over there? Second, if you want to read more, check out the blog.
Jeff Gerstmann on Google+
39 Comments
Posted by Jeff
Haha! The homeless girl smells funny! Woo!
Interesting reading on the subject of The Sims 3 comes to us via Pyso this afternoon. It's "Alice and Kev," a blog run by someone named Robin Burkinshaw. Here's Robin's words to describe the project:
I have attempted to tell my experiences with the minimum of embellishment. Everything I describe in here is something that happened in the game. What’s more, a surprising amount of the interesting things in this story were generated by just letting go and watching the Sims’ free will and personality traits take over.
For a collection of captioned screenshots of The Sims 3, it manages to be a fascinating take on the ridiculously popular PC game. The homeless duo keep looking for beds, fall asleep on the street, and manage to get hauled off for staying out after curfew. Here's the text portion of one entry to give you a better idea:
Kev has come up with a new trick. He’s started to sneak up on Alice and scare her. I sent her off to the school playground to get away from Kev, and after napping on the bench, she had to stop and have a cry again. Then she crawled up into the climbing frame to hang out. She finds just sitting up there a little bit of a thrill, which is helping to reduce her stress. But she’s been staying out past curfew, and now the police have come to round her up. I’m not sure what the wrench is for.
Two things. First, there's a curfew in The Sims 3? What kind of weird-ass police state are they running over there? Second, if you want to read more, check out the blog.
Staff
Edited by Hitchenson

I've been reading these for a while now, they're hella good.

The guy's one talented story writer, I'm pretty much hooked.
Posted by Sniipe

Pretty funny.  I've never played a Sims game and am on the fence about this one.  Reading more now.

Posted by AkasoFailsOnGiantBomb

I know this article makes the blog look comedic, but it's not. In fact, it's quite tragic; hell, it's downright depressing. Never thought The Sims could be so sad...

Edited by Keyser_Soze

One hell of a scathing critique on modern society and how we do so little to help the less fortunate. Being a vagabond is NOT a crime, though they're often treated like one.

"Get a job Grouch!"
"Get it together grouch!"

"Bitch I live in a fucking trashcan! I'm the poorest motherfucker on sesame street!"

Posted by slinky6
@Keyser_Soze said:
" One hell of a scathing critique on modern society and how we do so little to help the less fortunate. Being a vagabond is NOT a crime, though they're often treated like one."Get a job Grouch!""Get it together grouch!""Bitch I live in a fucking trashcan! I'm the poorest motherfucker on sesame street!" "
why should we help the less fortunate?
Posted by AkasoFailsOnGiantBomb
@slinky6: Because they're less fortunate.
Posted by Gizmo

How come black people in video games always look like white people with brown painted on?


Edited by graf1k

It's pretty awesome so far. I mean, if it was real it would be depressing but it seems, for me at least, that even the most despicable treatment instantly becomes infinitely more hilarious when it's perpetrated against NPCs in a game. That said, the storytelling so far is quite engaging.


EDIT: Hmm, this just gave me an idea to create a city with a significant population of homeless people like a depression era 'Hooverville' or that tent city they had out in Sacramento (I think it was Sacramento. Definitely somewhere in CA) recently and see what happens when you introduce a large transient population to an otherwise normal Sims town.
Posted by AndrewB

Oh my God, this is sooo awesome. Some truly great writing there, and, if all of these stories are indeed true, it is fascinating what happens in a Sim's life just by watching. It has the other benefit of rekindling my want to buy The Sims 3...

Posted by slinky6
@AkasoFailsOnGiantBomb said:
" @slinky6: Because they're less fortunate. "
and why is that?   Sure luck has a small part to do with it.   But laziness is a much bigger part.
Posted by graf1k
@slinky6 said:
"
@AkasoFailsOnGiantBomb said:
" @slinky6: Because they're less fortunate. "
and why is that?   Sure luck has a small part to do with it.   But laziness is a much bigger part. "
Funny. I've met exponentially more lazy rich people in my life than lazy poor people.
Posted by TheClap

ah, just like real life. 

Posted by Pepsicolaboy

I wonder, if the sims never happened - would reality TV have taken off?
Or the other way round? Or........
No, No, im not going to think about it.


Posted by YoungDetective
@slinky6: Do you actually have any real experience with this? Or is this just what you tell yourself so you don't feel as bad about not helping them?
Posted by Jeffsekai

Just found that today, very funny and informative,

Posted by slinky6
@graf1k said:
"
@slinky6 said:
"
@AkasoFailsOnGiantBomb said:
" @slinky6: Because they're less fortunate. "
and why is that?   Sure luck has a small part to do with it.   But laziness is a much bigger part. "
Funny. I've met exponentially more lazy rich people in my life than lazy poor people.
"
I never said all wealthy people earned their wealth.   That has nothing to do with what I said.   If they have earned their wealth then became lazy, they are perfectly justified.
Posted by slinky6
@YoungDetective said:
" @slinky6: Do you actually have any real experience with this? Or is this just what you tell yourself so you don't feel as bad about not helping them? "
umm I have real experience of not helping people, sure.   I don't feel bad about it.
Posted by YoungDetective
@slinky6 said: 
umm I have real experience of not helping people, sure.   I don't feel bad about it. "
I was asking whether you actually know any less fortunate people, or if you just assume that poor people are just lazy.
Posted by dQuarters

@slinky6


I felt the same as you when I was young (because my dad used to feed me the "homeless are lazy" BS). But then I began actually stopping to talk to homeless people. I'd ask them how they ended up homeless, and 95% of the time it would be from things completely out of their control, mostly issues dealing with health and cost of medication.

I assure you laziness ain't a factor. Some of them are con-artists. But even then they are not lazy people.
Posted by JackiJinx

I've read through the full thing so far. The fact that the sim donates is really bizarre. Also, touching.


Kev needs some love. Ghost love! GHOST BUSTERS!
Posted by MeatSim

Haha that's so great.

Posted by Nasar7

His blog reads like a creepy 19th century medical journal.

Posted by LiquidPrince

That AI is dangerous. End it!

Posted by Meteora

That blog is really both sad and hilarious.

They should do a endurance run with the Sims 3.

Posted by SamuSlave
Seanbaby conducts a similar experiment over on cracked.com with hilarious results.
Edited by Branthog

.

Posted by Number1

This makes me want to play the sims, is it on steam?

Posted by TomA

sims 3 is fucking fun

Edited by raidingkvatch
@slinky6: yeah it's laziness. That's it. Hit the nail right on the head. Forget the factors of a society riddled with inequality where it's almost impossible to live on minimum wage and it costs money to receive the education necessary to get a decent job. Forget economic decline and rising unemployment. Forget healthcare costs. Those people are just fucking lazy.

Fucking dick

@Branthog
said:
Two things. First, there's a curfew in The Sims 3? What kind of weird-ass police state are they running over there?
I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not. Almost every city in America has curfews. Even up until the age of 18, there are curfews that dictate how late a child is allowed to be outside of the house without an adult escorting them. Sometimes you hear about crackdowns on enforcing the law more than other times. Remember, children do not have the same rights as adults (which is why they can be so thoroughly and unquestionably violated in schools by teachers and administrations). "
Fuck I'm glad I don't live in the US sometimes. Sure the UK has problems, but minors seem to get much better rights


Posted by Death_Burnout

In all my time playing, i dont remember a curfew...i was jogging to buy books hella late!

Posted by FlipperDesert

This is awesome, it's like Simsville is slowly turning into 1984.

In the Sims 4, you'll going to be able to cart off your Sim to a detention centre if they don't do what you order them to. There will also be torture minigames.

Posted by RagingLion

This is actually really good and I've started following it the last few days after another site I read linked to it as well.

Posted by RelentlessKnight

nice fanfiction!

Posted by STEVEOO6

I've been reading this for a while now. It's really, really good.

Posted by Jimbo

Haha, I thought about sending you guys a link to this a week or so ago but I decided you probably wouldn't be interested.  I'm glad you posted it, I found it hilarious - I near PMSL when the girl starts breaking everything in that guys house.

Posted by RHCPfan24

This is a fascinating blog. I can tell that this guy is a good writer because I am hooked by the delivery. I am going to bookmark this and check it out periodically.

Posted by Media_Master

ahhh, the sims.

Posted by jmrwacko

"Fuck I'm glad I don't live in the US sometimes. Sure the UK has problems, but minors seem to get much better rights"

Kiddies don't need rights. They get Hannah Montana instead.