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Our Internet Empathy Problem

The disappearance of Flappy Bird has prompted streams of harassment and death threats. There are no consequences for the most vile of harassment on the Internet. This has to change.

We don't just have a game culture problem, we have an Internet culture problem.

No Caption Provided

Today, we have a better understanding of why Flappy Bird developer Dong Nguyen decided his game should no longer be available on the App Store: addiction. An interview with Forbes revealed the developer's insecurity with how people played it.

"I think it has become a problem," said Nguyen. "To solve that problem, it’s best to take down Flappy Bird. It’s gone forever.”

Until this morning, his motivations were the source of speculation. (I suspect this will continue to be the case.) It might have been the accusations of theft, it might have been the overwhelming spotlight success brings, and it might have been the torrent of abuse that was spewing forth on his Twitter feed. It might have been a combination of all three or none of the above. There are even some who theorize the virality was faked.

It doesn't actually matter. Even if Nguyen removed the game for reasons he won't disclose, reasons far less altruistic than protecting players from themselves, we can still read what has been said about him and to him.

On Sunday afternoon, I became aware of a custom Twitter list that collected some of the horrendous, awful words that had been targeted at Nguyen in the past few days. Many of them were death threats, some merely promised violence, and others shouted obscenities at the top of their digital lungs. Much of it was unequivocally abuse and deeply unsettling. Whether or not these comments impacted Nguyen doesn't change the fact that they exist. The sheer volume of abuse suggests much of the Internet populace believes there is no consequence for threats conveyed via Twitter or otherwise. There's good reason for that: they're right.

Amanda Hess' "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet" article, for example, is an excellent and deeply applicable source on how much difficulty our modern legal and security infrastructures have dealing with the evolution of harassment. The tools of harassers are deeply embedded into the fabric of the Internet. Empowerment of the user is king. Unfortunately, it comes at all costs to the victims on the receiving end.

Here are a few examples of what was directed at Nguyen:

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Weirdly, much of the vitriol targeted at Nguyen may come from a deep misunderstanding of what's happening to Flappy Bird. It is not being erased from every iPhone and iPad. While Apple does have a "kill switch" that would allow the company to remotely nuke a piece of software from all of its devices, it has never deployed the "kill switch." It's reserved for malware and other havoc-inducing apps. (For example, developers who have snuck emulators onto the App Store hidden have not seen their apps forcefully removed from users who downloaded them before being pulled.) But even if these users better understood Flappy Bird's ultimate fate, it's no excuse, and underscores the flippant nature to much of Internet commentary.

What's one comment in a large sea? Well, It adds up. How many people need to tell you that you're an asshole in real-life for it to have an impact on your day?

When I linked to the aforementioned Twitter list, it spread quickly, and generated sympathy and questions. I want to respond to some of the commentary that I found troublesome, and explain why what people did to Nguyen underscores some deeper cultural issues about what we consider acceptable Internet behavior.

(I'm not going to publish the actual tweets, just quote them.)

"I've never experienced any hate like this but I have to imagine 75% of the world would choose to endure this for 50k a day."

The most important part of this is "I've never experienced any hate like this." Red flag. The Verge speculated Flappy Bird was generating $50,000 daily. Nguyen's simply said it's "a lot." This has become the de facto excuse for why it's okay to dismiss Nguyen. He's rich! Who care if he's miserable about it? If a person is making a substantial amount of money, the logic goes, that's reason to put up with whatever the Internet can throw you. (Whether money buys happiness remains an open-ended question in academia.) But this displays an amazing lack of empathy. Can you imagine what it would be like to become a celebrity overnight? No. What gives you the right to evaluate their mental well-being? Why are you allowed to tell them how to feel?

"What mob? The mob of teenage girls who make completely idle death threats? I wouldn't take this too seriously."

"but it's not a real mob though. No one is actually gonna kill this guy."

A threat sent to former Call of Duty developer Robert Bowling.
A threat sent to former Call of Duty developer Robert Bowling.

It's hard to take this tweet seriously. What, mind you, is an idle death threat? That such a damningly vague phrase even exists is evidence itself that we've allowed discourse on the Internet to reach a point where we're supposed to be emotionally, mentally, and physically okay with death threats. If someone writes a death threat in a letter or in-person, that individual may be arrested by the police. At the very least, there are consequences. If someone writes a death threat over a social networking service, it's an "idle threat."

Words are powerful, and people should be responsible for them. When we characterize threats as "idle," we remove the individual from the equation. It's victim blaming. It's hard to imagine how Nguyen is to blame here.

When the Internet turns on you, it's hard to describe the emotional rollercoaster that goes along with it. You can't exactly walk away from the Internet forever. While looking at a long list of abuse Tweets directed at Nguyen, it's easy to distance yourself from it because, hey, it's not you. But I've been on the other side of that equation, albeit not to the same scale as Nguyen. When someone directs a threat of violence at you, it feels very personal. Every single one of them. When someone photoshops my wife into a photo to try and unsettle me, it feels very god damn personal. You cannot distance yourself from attacks that are directed at you, and to suggest otherwise only underscores one's lack of experience with the subject. You need a thick skin to survive as a public figure on the Internet, but that doesn't mean there aren't chinks in your armor. And as Jim Sterling mentioned on this week's morning show, it doesn't mean there isn't skin underneath. That skin can get raw.

We lack empathy on the Internet. There are people behind every game, every username, every Twitter account.

"what is the discussion at hand here? Should we be allowed to insult and/or threat people via the internet?"

Insult? Yes. Threaten? No. That is not protected speech. Learn how to construct a real argument.

"It's not that bad. I see worse shit in an average game of Dota."

This, unfortunately, rings true. It wouldn't surprise me if, statistically, the gaming audience was found to be more prone to this type of vitriolic commentary than other communities. The hardcore gaming demographic skews young. I'm afraid to imagine what kind of stupid things I might have said on today's Internet when I was 14-years-old. Many games, especially those online, are competitive, and adrenaline can bring out the worst in us.

But none of these are excuses for such poor behavior, and merely pointing out the problem doesn't solve it, either. A combination of legal, technological, and societal changes are needed to make the Internet a safer place, especially for critical, dissenting voices. You shouldn't have to put up with death threats on the Internet, and individuals shouldn't be allowed to get away with them without a reciprocal impact. This article won't change that, but the next time a situation like this flares up, you don't have to contribute to the problem, either.

Don't be silent. Speak up for targets of harassment. They're victims, after all.

***

If you're interested in reading more about Flappy Bird (there's lots to digest), here are some terrific pieces:

Patrick Klepek on Google+

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generic_username

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Thanks for writing this article, Patrick. Continuing to ignore a serious issue like this when you have both the means and the writing skill to be seen would be sad.

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Budwyzer

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What's flappy bird?

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SpecTackle

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Where was this article back when Xbox guy was getting shit on hundreds of times a second? Did he "have it coming" or am I not seeing the difference?

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VargasPrime

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Edited By VargasPrime

I understand what Patrick is saying, there is definitely an issue on the internet and we need to learn to be better. Hopefully we can teach the younger generation to be better people on the internet.

But i think the issue of the Flappy Bird creator is slightly different (not related to this article). It just sounded that he cared a lot of what people were saying. When people were saying flappy bird ruined their life, he was genuinely concerned, even if the person was probably being sarcastic. But many people need to realize sarcasm doesn't translate online, especially for the creator in which English is not their first language. He sounds like a guy who wants to help everyone and has a passion to make games.

a good artcle showing the history:

http://www.businessinsider.com/why-flappy-birds-shut-down-2014-2#ixzz2swcAULhF

This is what makes the situation worse! He took the game down from the marketplaces for honest, legitimately empathetic reasons. He obviously didn't want to create that kind of app, one that sucks you in and takes over your life. He just wanted people to have a stupid game to kill a few minutes with here and there.

Then he takes the game off the market, and gets death threats from people who HAVE THE GAME ON THEIR DEVICE already! People who reacted SO knee-jerkingly, SO without thought, that they didn't stop to realize that they would still have the game for as long as they kept it installed on their phones. It's absolutely crazy.

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SkippySigmatic

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Edited By SkippySigmatic

Although I agree that the internet can be full of awful people saying awful things, I don't know what you're proposing here. That we speak up about it? How will that possibly help? Are you calling for the forceful removal of internet anonymity? Is that what we really want?

I'd say, from a realistic viewpoint, the best solution is to grow a thicker skin. I know the inevitable response to that is, "the victims shouldn't have to change, it's the attackers who need to stop," but frankly that's unrealistic. If you live in a neighborhood full of crime, you put bars on your windows. If you venture onto the public realm of social networking, you prepare for some stupid, mean, and spiteful stuff. Personally, I look at those "death threats," and imagine them directed towards me. I'd laugh at them. They clearly aren't serious. It's become common for journalists to label "I'LL KILL YOU" tweets as "death threats" which, while technically true, is a little misleading. Consider this: do these kids making tweets like that actually deserve to be charged for threatening to murder someone? Is it fair to put them in jail?

Someone in Texas apparently thought it was, when some kid was jailed for *terrorism* after sarcastically joking about eating kids' hearts. I don't want to live in a world where making a sarcastic facebook comment is roughly comparable with flying a plane into a building.

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Brackynews

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@atwa: if you aren't able to understand how gaming and society overlap, and why this kind of discussion is important, I dare say you're part of the problem. There's an expression that sunshine is the best disinfectant. If you give up on humanity as a lost cause, it also means you are unwilling to change your own point of view. If you can affect how you treat people, somewhere that will influence others.

We can't fix every broken husk of a person who was abused as a child, has more money than sense, or chooses to use their power to subvert others. The crux of solving societal issues is awareness and the will to act in a manner that reflects what you want to happen.

Or you can give up and crawl in a hole with the rest.

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Oldirtybearon

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@robertorri said:

@atwa said:

John Lennon got tons of death threats, even without the internet!

Boy, and look what ended up happening to him! Someone didn't just make a death threat, someone actually killed him.

Fucking hell, man. What was the point you were trying to make here?

Probably something to do with the idea that people have been like this since the beginning, and that most of the time the vitriol people love to say is little more than someone lashing out to vent their frustration or anger at an easy target. The real threats come from the crazy ones; and they don't always send threats directly to their target. Off-hand I can't remember if Mark David Chapman sent death threats to Lennon, but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. That's ultimately what makes them dangerous; they're unpredictable and don't adhere to society's mores and social graces.

There will always be kids acting like little shits, and there will always be people who don't understand that the person they're communicating with is a real, living and breathing person. That's part of the problem when dealing with internet based communication. No matter how many cute pictures of you and your dog you throw up on a twitter avatar, or how public you make your private life, you're not real to other people unless you're standing in front of them. I don't know if there's a way around this, or if it's just a part of who we are. I don't think people should have to put up with this kind of abuse, but the problem is rooted much deeper in our psychology than simply saying "everybody, be excellent to each other!" no matter how much I support the message of Bill and Ted.

Don't take that to mean that we shouldn't put smart people on this task of figuring out how and why people dehumanize each other through computer screens, but it's not something that will be solved in a day and, unfortunately, the only way to effectively combat this kind of vitriol is to unplug and rejoin the real world for awhile. Cold comfort, definitely, but it's all we have at the moment.

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MrPlatitude

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Great article. I can't believe that stuff like this happens.

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RobertOrri

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@coke said:

That's pretty hateful of you.

No, just honesty.

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roboculus92

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Edited By roboculus92

@spunkrake said:

I like this article, but there are a couple of things I'd like to point out here:

1) If it's not fair for people to think Nguyen is making a poor (or even just weird) decision to shut all this down because they've never experienced this level of internet vitriol, it's also unfair to assume that people wouldn't put up with exactly the same thing if they got enough money, especially if you have never experienced *their* level of poverty. The quote said 75% of the world, and much of the world lives in poverty so great as to be literally unimaginable to me.

2) We need to acknowledge that there is a real and substantive difference between 'internet death threats' and 'death threats'. This doesn't mean that this sort of offhanded garbage that comes out of the internet whenever there is 'okay', or something that we should expect our public figures to ignore, but to treat this idle detritus with the same level of concern that comes with death threats that might actually bring violence with them doesn't really do either problem any disservice.

If we want this to stop (and why wouldn't we?) there need to be consequences for this sort of idiocy. Full stop. Anything less will not solve the problem.

Do not make the assumption that all those people living in poverty would suddenly have much happier lives if they got all this money. Yeah, their living situation would greatly improve but many of them would probably then fall prone to the same problems that a lot of us have. Money doesn't equal happiness man. You can still be unhappy regardless of how much money you have so don't assume that Nguyen should have been fine with all of this because of all of the money he made. He clearly was having a much happier time before all of this so it's no surprise that he'd want to go back to that.

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gaftra

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Edited By gaftra

@spunkrake: You should check out the "why women aren't welcome" article. A very real stalker making credible threats came out of someone's internet comments. While most comments on the internet are detritus it's very possible that there could be someone threatening real harm as well.

I totally agree that there needs to be some greater accountability for what people say on the internet. It's really saddening to see an increasing disregard for online behavior.

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LegalBagel

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Edited By LegalBagel

Glad to hear you weigh on things like this Patrick. Needs to be dealt with and it's all-too-often ignored or swept under the rug.

While I think anonymity helps enable this shit, the problem more comes from lack of consequences. Anonymity helps people avoid consequences, but even people operating under their own name say really disgusting things on Twitter. The problem is more lack of consequences on particular platforms, and the unlikelihood for Internet to get back to your "real" life - Twitter doesn't care, it's impersonal (to them) and they'll never see most of the people they're threatening, and it's very unlikely it will ever get back to their family, friends, job, or the non-Internet. And the times there are real world consequences for Internet words, they tend to be overreactive Internet witch hunts more than anything. The Internet is vast, forever, and all or nothing when it comes to these things.

While advocating for a change in culture and having people call out shit on the Internet would be the best way to deal with the problem, I'm not sure how effective it would be. Anonymity also both seems important enough to keep and of marginal impact if taken away. I think things really need to be on the platform holders like Google and Twitter to clean up their own comment cesspools - bans, actual enforcement, and what have you - as that's the only thing I've ever seen work on the Internet to provide consequences. The problem is it's much cheaper to stay hands-off, and they'd prefer getting more users and hits than dealing with issues.

The worse option, which may become more probable if platform holders ignore things, is the government stepping in to more rigorously deal with online threats, harassment, or assaults. We're already seeing this happen in some places and with laws like "cyber-bullying," and I expect we'll see similar things the more problems like this come into the public consciousness.

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Thank you for yet another outstanding and meaningful piece.

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Edited By Coke
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I'm going to speculate abit here.
I grew up like many of you with the standard video games, we all watched as companies made decisions which sometimes felt like they were against this industry that we love and support, we got angry sometimes, we became accustomed to these companies making decisions we don't like. Here we have a new market, people with a narrower video game experience, they use facebook and twitter to make themselves incredibly public, despite a simple free game they feel some kind of betrayal by its removal perhaps similar to what we felt back in the day, but now their voices are a lot more public.

I have no real conclusion to my thought, i just imagine the people who bullied me for playing games when i was in school, probably played this and made abusive twitter posts.

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Edited By ZombiePie
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Edited By TiE23

@johnbakosh said:

Why is this even on Giant Bomb?

It seems like something better suited to a personal blog.

Because game previews and top ten lists rot the brain.

Thinking about this, I can't experience the threats and mindless insults firsthand, and unless you've got an actual stalker who is threatening to kill and/or rape you (like that one woman in the mentioned article experienced, which is 100% real) it seems that the only way to fight this (until something miraculously drastic happens) is to fight mentally with rationality. Evil? Yes. Unwarranted? Yes. Avoidable? ...Apparently not.

Basically what I'm saying is that if I came under a similar level of vitriol I would do my best to rationalize the emptiness of these threats by painting an image in my head: "Is this person so angry that they are literally screaming in rage at their phone?" It's a lot like people saying 'lol' when they did nothing more than smile to themselves. I imagine some people may be keeping a straight face when they write such heinous garbage... which is really the problem I see: People don't take their own writing seriously enough.

But all the rationalizing in the world isn't going to stop me from being angry, exhausted, and feeling tormented over it. So I sympathize with this man, and 100% agree with his taking the game down at his own discretion.

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l4wd0g

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Edited By l4wd0g

There are laws protecting people from this sort of thing.

http://www.ncsl.org/research/telecommunications-and-information-technology/cyberstalking-and-cyberharassment-laws.aspx

I don't know Patrick. It's awful. However, there are some 645,750,000 twitter users, it seems like some people had a lapse of reason, overreacted, and said some pretty awful shit to this guy.

Could it be that these people just had bad days and this was the final straw? I mean, there is no excuse to threaten someone, but it does paint a damn clear message of their feelings on the matter.

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Words only hurt if you allow them to.

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Edited By Jonny_Anonymous

this has got absolutely zero to do with the internet, famous pepole have been getting hate mail since man first learned how to write.

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Saying "well, there's nothing we can do about it, might as well just ignore it" is one of the most common obstacles to human progress throughout history.

I mean, sure, you can argue that "they don't mean it" but really, why do you need to go on a public website and make threats to kill people, no matter how facetious? Don't threaten to murder people.Why is this so hard?

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I completely agree Patrick, just wish I knew where to start to make a difference.

If you're asking why this is on GB I'd ask you to point that question at yourself.

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AnjinM

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Super disappointed at how dismissive some people are about this problem. Being attacked by a distributed mob can be overwhelming. I suspect that those who think people need a thicker skin do really understand the enormity of the problem.

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@patrickklepek

Patrick, I'm truly sorry that happened to you and your wife. Nobody deserves that awfulness.

Not even the flappy bird guy even if he did what some people claim he did. That isn't the right way to extract change from him.

You are absolutely right this is an internet culture problem, but unfortunately I just don't see any solutions to it without compromising critical parts of what makes the internet a valuable tool. The internet makes it so easy to reach out to someone anywhere in the world in an instant which is very powerful for sharing in ways never before possible, but it can be an emotional avalanche on someone who the internet turns on. Especially if they don't have the resources of a large corporation behind them.

Twitter does really resemble a lynch mob at times, hate spreads like contagion on there.

What you are doing by calling it out is helpful, but at the end of the day this is an act where the actor knows that they can get away with it 95% of the time.

And while I do think some of it would be helped by having clearer emotional cues (as some of those death threats I suspect were probably intended as non-serious jokes, but it's never very clear on twitter), it's hard to prevent any discussion from going to the lowest denominator without the at least credible threat of consequence for abusive behavior.

It would be interesting to see study run on many of these abusive people are teens and such, who aren't the greatest at communicating yet, but my fear is that the adults are just as bad.

and for those who say people need a thick skin (not you Patrick obviously), I hate to say it but you're part of the problem. You're enabling this abuse by placing responsibility on the recipient instead of the bad actor where it belongs. There are some things in life that you just have to take, but you shouldn't be automatically subject to abuse everyday just because of your gender/race/sexual orientation/religion etc.

I wish I had the answer for all this.

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Edited By megalowho

I think there's an interesting story and takeaway surrounding the rise and fall of Flappy Bird, but not entirely sure this is that article. I mean, we're mostly preaching to the choir here I'd imagine, and aside from specific public shaming a lot of this feels like a retread of Patrick's TED X talk on the subject. It's true - death threats and kids being irrationally aggressive online is a bad look.

Would prefer to read more about what makes a throwaway game like this hit on iOS where think tank publishers that put big money behind mobile ventures fail over the online discourse angle. That's the thing about Flappy Bird that strikes me as fascinating over anything else.

Edit: Thanks for linking to the pieces at the end, some of those are more in line with what I'm looking for.

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Edited By Blue_Eon

While I think the comments and death threats are over the line, I also believe that if you put yourself out there on the internet in any way, shape, or form, then you're giving up any "right" to be free from criticisms, arguments, or even flaming. It's unfortunate that it's this way, but life is cruel and it will chew you up and spit you out if you aren't ready. Life isn't a hugbox 24/7 and neither is the internet.

I feel for the guy and as I said before, it's sad this happens, but you almost have to expect it now. Should he be lambasted for making a game he wanted to make? In an ideal world, no, he wouldn't be. This world is far from ideal, however, and then you add the layer of anonymity on top of it, and you have what we have now.

The best thing to do isn't to censor, over-moderate, or neuter the internet. The best thing to do is tell people that you're going to get your feelings hurt in life, online and offline. People are going to be dicks, they're going to say mean and hateful things, and they're not going to agree with you. You gotta roll with the punches because the internet isn't going to just be a nice playground, especially in its current iteration. I wish it were different, but it's a reality for which most people aren't adequately prepared. I hope it gets better, but we'll see.

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Really great piece, Patrick. Seems to me that other folks online need to do a better job of censuring those who says things like that. It's certainly easier said than done, but the way this stuff gets shot down in "reality" is the pressure of others, not the enforcement of rules or laws.

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hermes

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I believe that James McMullan tweet may have been satire.

I pity the person that considers that "comedy"...

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RobertOrri

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@soapy86 said:

Words only hurt if you allow them to.

Thread over! Someone solved the problem, you guys. We can now all go home.

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Man I hate this kind of news. I can't imagine what the guy is going through right now with all of these death threats that he's getting.

People need to check themselves. It's a game. If you feel so strongly about a simple, dumb game, you clearly should step back and rethink the situation.

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Not to trivialize Nguyen's situation at all, but I think I would rather endure what are mostly hollow death threats from 14 year olds than that kind of personal attack against Patrick. That is truly disgusting.

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@robertorri:

Has anyone actually been harmed physically over any of these internet outbursts? I don't think so.
While they can harm someone's feelings, there is no weight behind the anonymous harassment.

The day actual harm is dealt to a human being, is the day I will support this "atrocity". Until then, it's just a bunch of angst(y) kids on the internet, trying to get people rustled.

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Edited By Video_Game_King

Empowerment of the user is king.

Patrick Klepek
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Net neutrality for now Net neutrality forever.

Also sad I actually wanted to get around to playing flappy bird.

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deactivated-61356eb4a76c8

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Thank you for in-depth coverage of twitter drama Patrick, gives the internet slacktivists something to talk about for a few days.

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morose

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Edited By morose
@soapy86 said:

Words only hurt if you allow them to.

I hear this sentiment occasionally, and I have to disagree. The mental anguish caused by verbal abuse is a real thing that many folks have to deal with. I hope you never have to experience it firsthand.

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bybeach

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@bybeach: "Don't look" - OK, the dude is a developer, with a very visible Twitter account, email account, etc. So, he's just supposed to disappear until the hate stops? That's called victim-blaming. You're putting the onus to fix the situation squarely on the person being harassed, rather than the people that are doing the harassing.

"Shut up for a few days, people forget" - Millions of people downloaded Flappy Bird. It became a Huge Deal. When you've got hate directed at you in the numbers that Nguyen was probably getting, who's to say that there aren't going to be a certain number of those people who aren't going to let it go? Or who would even take things further than just harassing tweets? Maybe someone hacks his email? Or finds out where he lives? When you're exponentially increasing the number of people targeting a person, the chances that one of those people is actually going to go beyond a simple tweet or email is going to increase exponentially, too.

For this onus of victim blaming, bull to you. What I am proposing is a strategy to deal with the evil you cannot control. This victim-blaming sounds like an agenda term. It is wasted on me.

For the second, I do have more sympathy for what you say. But again, it is strictly and only an approach to cause people to lose interest. I was never, and please do pay attention to what I am saying, mitigating the behavior of people who act like this. or the negative potential. Don't try to make it so.

Good job on ignoring what else I said, and why, cherry picker.

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Luck702

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Edited By Luck702

People are incredibly shitty on the internet, I won't debate that. What's the answer though? I can't even think of a single one. If the police rounded up every person that wrote "I'll kill you" on twitter, would that be reasonable? I honestly don't see what can be done.

Also feels great to have a twitter quote of mine be used here.

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therealtakeshi

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Great article Patrick, and something that needs addressing. I don't know why we feel such liberty to say things to others online that we probably wouldn't offline. But I think I've got a good idea as to why. Even as I wrote that second sentence, I had to delete "in real life" at the end, replacing it with "offline". That "in real life" vs. "online" dichotomy has been, for me, a natural part of life since I got my first computer; and I feel pretty certain it's the same for most of us 20-somethings and younger.

I play a lot of Starcraft II online, and I run into mean people there somewhat often (definitely not every game, but maybe 1:40 or 1:50 people will vocally share nasty or disturbing things). Not the adrenaline-fueled "you suck, gg" or "get out" or "I WON, FUCK YOU"; those are potentially excusable (though still mean-spirited). But those phrases like "you should kill yourself" and "i raped your mom/sister last night", etc. Maybe still adrenaline-fueled, but in my mind, still inexcusable. Not that those can't be jokes, but that if they are, they're lacking A LOT of context to make them funny. And even though I'm not personally injured by those remarks, it detracts from the whole game-playing and communal aspect as a whole (especially since I never really play 1v1)

So I've taken to responding by asking them why they're being mean. It's not natural, but it actually has had an effect. If someone starts spewing garbage like the aforementioned to anyone in the game, I'll just ask them "hey, why are you being a jerk?" or "why are you saying mean things here?". I don't say "hey, it's just a game" because I don't want to trivialize the space; I genuinely inquire as to why they feel entitled/responsible to say those things. And about a quarter of the time, they'll actually apologize. They'll say they got carried away, or they said the wrong thing, or made a mistake; actual mea culpa. Another quarter will say "it's fine, it's just a joke" and to "quit taking things so seriously" because "it's just a game" or "you can say stuff too"; it's easier to say nasty things when a) you trivialize the space and b) you believe everyone has come to the space with the same sense of humor and desire for vitriol. The last half just gets further incensed that I'm not responding the way they want and escalates.

But it's that first quarter that really sticks with me. I have a hope that eventually everyone gets to a point where they own up to their crappy behavior and apologize for it. I think articles like this, and videos like the one below go a long way to apprehending those damaging thought processes and reminding us that there are people behind the screennames.

Loading Video...
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chose

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It's nothing more than bored and frustrated kids being dicks on the internet. Unless a stranger is repeatedly threatening you, calling you on the phone or knocking on your door, grow a fucking pair.

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mr_otas

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@kurbster said:

so when will ISPs require all internet users to be snuggled in a blankie with their favorite teddy bear before using the internet? People with skin made out of jello shouldn't be using the internet without Net Nanny installed.

Ironically, that includes a majority of video game 'journalists' these days

This is a prime example of what is called victim blaming. In most parts of the civilized world, correctional action is taken against the offender, not the victim.

No one should have to put up with death threats, period.

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alwaysbebombing

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@soapy86 said:

Words only hurt if you allow them to.

That couldn't be further from the truth, and half the problem is a thought process like this. If you do any kind of research in psychiatry, it's a very clear and simple concept that words hurt, no matter how thick skinned you are.

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w1n5t0n

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Saying "well, there's nothing we can do about it, might as well just ignore it" is one of the most common obstacles to human progress throughout history.

I mean, sure, you can argue that "they don't mean it" but really, why do you need to go on a public website and make threats to kill people, no matter how facetious? Don't threaten to murder people.Why is this so hard?

Because your not talking to rational people, at-least not rational in their moment of anger. They're not thinking if it's ok or not. This isn't an internet and it's certainly not a new problem. This is just a human problem and It's been going on since we became a species. I doubt it will change anytime soon. That's why people say theirs nothing to do about it.

If people had to use real identities and were faced with jail time, people would still say stupid shit. I mean look at facebook comments, real names haven't stopped ignorance.

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mrsmiley

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Edited By mrsmiley

Fantastic article! I love seeing more smart, introspective pieces like this on gaming websites. To those asking "why is this here?" Um, it directly relates to a video game, and even more so to the gaming community, who has become the center of a lot of criticism over the years for the exact things Patrick is discussing in this article!

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LiquidPrince

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People continue to be assholes on the internet. People who send other people tweets and messages like that disgust me. I mean, yeah you're mostly anonymous, but that doesn't mean you need to start acting like total dicks to others, especially over such ridiculous topics.

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Duncecap

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weird flappy bird review. where the star??

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shinjin977

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Edited By shinjin977

@patrickklepek Good stuff once again scoops. I said it before on these forums but here we go again. Games and internet did not change this generation into psychopathic killers but it did turn us into uncaring, jaded assholes.