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234 Comments

Pokémon Your Way to Hell

It's super effective!

Regional TV evangelists are essentially a bottomless well of insane, ill-informed hyperbole, so it honestly shouldn't be too surprising to see this nutty diatribe on the satanic powers of Pokémon. Still, it's a slow news day, and I enjoy things that are profoundly absurd, so here we go!
   

 
 
I really enjoy how this guy spends the first full minute explaining, in pretty concise, accurate detail, what Pokémon are, before launching into this awesome paranoid rant about dark realms and evil forces. I mean, seriously dude, it's just Pokémon. It's not like we're talking about Digimon or, God forbid, Yu-Gi-Oh!

234 Comments

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flaminghobo

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Edited By flaminghobo

That was hilarious, I love extreme Christians!

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KowalskiManDown

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Edited By KowalskiManDown

LOL @ Religion

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Wildfire570

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Edited By Wildfire570

Well then I hope he doesn't pick up a Shin Megami Tensei game because those games have Satan...literally!

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jos1ah

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Edited By jos1ah

"I found out that Pokemon means pocket monster." 
I didn't know that!  Wow, Nintendo is seriously perverted. The whole time they're pretending to protect kids from online perverts and it's because they want kids playing with their pocket monster. "gotta catch em all." ...I bet.
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TehBuLL

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Edited By TehBuLL

CHARMANDER!

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Alphazero

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Edited By Alphazero

I realized at one point I'd put more hours into Pokemon Diamond than I did into the first Mass Effect.
 
That seems pretty evil to me.

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Godwind

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Edited By Godwind

Anyone else notice that the length of this video is 3:33.  Double the length and the video would be 7:06.  Another way of writing that is 6:66. 
 
Coincidence?  I THINK NOT.  WATCH OUT, THIS GUY IS THE REAL DEVIL.

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TzarStefan

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Edited By TzarStefan

Lutherans  make other Christian faiths look bad... Thanks ALOT AMERICA way to go ruining Christianity...
 
FYI. I know lutheran faith is from Germany, still Americans take the price by doing these sorts of things.

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Winternet

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Edited By Winternet

I'M SOLD!

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Spwn

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Edited By Spwn

Is this what it's like in Australia?

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scarace360

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Edited By scarace360

wheres my crazy person for persona.

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Crocio

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Edited By Crocio

This man simply stays in power through unquestioning fear. 
What an absolutely perverted form of Christianity, I would never call that man religious.

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EisforExtinction

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Edited By EisforExtinction

This guy makes Pokemon sound AWESOME!

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FlipperDesert

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Edited By FlipperDesert

Did he just say gangs play role-playing games? Ahahahahahaha. "I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT DAWG"
 
Alternate comment: "Pokémon! With the Poké and the 'mon where you..."

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mosdef

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Edited By mosdef

so pokemon=hell
 writing this down.  got to inform man babies at my Barnes and Noble.

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Xandurson

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Edited By Xandurson

The Pokemon kids go out and pull out their 45's. I've seen them! A kid down my street wanted that shiny Blastoise card so bad he pumped 5 shots in that other kid who had it! It's out there! Believe you me!

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atejas

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Edited By atejas

Well, to be fair, D/P/P does allow a 10(?) year old to capture God and use him to battle things. I'd call that pretty irreverent.

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iHaxedAllReconCodez

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I love this guy. He's an IDIOT!
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RyShe

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Edited By RyShe

this video and the people are clearly from the eighties, that means Christians have discovered time travel, and using it to fight Japan.  

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Defunctfrenzy

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Edited By Defunctfrenzy
@Banjo_ace: Dude, what's that got to do with this article? You expecting me to do the whole "gay people are evil" thing or something?
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Tireyo

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Edited By Tireyo

Wow. Taking it extremely isn't he? : - P

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jmrwacko

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Edited By jmrwacko

"It's important for the Church to deal with issues as they come to the forefront of society"
 
Like hell it is. Jesus, this is why the Evangelical movement scares the living crap out of me. They want to pull a Islamic Republic on America with all this moralistic, theocratic crap they're pushing. Just wait until Mike Huckabee becomes president, we'll be forced to teach the Bible to our children.

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RetroIce4

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Edited By RetroIce4

Well son, that is Pokemon. OH LOL!

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NerdyNinja007

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Edited By NerdyNinja007

Forget about terrorists!  We all need to be aware of jigglypuff!

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ShaunassNZ

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Edited By ShaunassNZ

Fuck is that why churchies hate me? Eh let's play some Poke'mon!

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foggel

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Edited By foggel
@eroticfishcake said:
" @septim said:
" Why does every evangelical preacher clip look like it was shot in the mid 1970s? Are they all using the same outdated equipment or something? "
Nope. They're just stuck in that era. "
The people on that vid even look like they're from the 70s.
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bennym6

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Edited By bennym6

roflmaopmp
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GoronSurvivor

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Edited By GoronSurvivor

i fucking hate religion.. stupid, ignorant, bible beating fucktards.
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Media_Master

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Edited By Media_Master

Weird.

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leky1

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Edited By leky1

Of course,every gamer walks around with a .45 in their pocket :P!

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leky1

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Edited By leky1
@Ryan said:
" @l4wd0g said:
"  

I guess the fact that it was an edited video didn’t catch anyone’s attention.

I though everyone was supposed to be tolerant now and days. I guess it’s still too cool to mock Christians. I thought better of Giant Bomb, but I was wrong.

I have to work next to people that proudly promote the Muslim Brotherhood and I can’t say anything to them or the ACLU comes after me. 
 
Now if anyone can tell me the difference between the Old and New Testament of the Bible, without Googleing it, I would be impressed. 

"
Giant Bomb welcomes folks of all creeds, colors, and beliefs. I can understand why those who take their religion seriously might take offense to this post, but this isn't an indictment of religion or Christianity or God or anything like that. That dude is saying that Pokemon are satanic. That's so absurd, regardless of context, surely you can appreciate why another person might find humor in it. Is that not the truest sense of tolerance? "
Great!Now you pissed Ryan off!
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Branthog

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Edited By Branthog

Because everything else about religion makes so much sense...

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Branthog

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Edited By Branthog
@l4wd0g said:
"  

I guess the fact that it was an edited video didn’t catch anyone’s attention.

I though everyone was supposed to be tolerant now and days. I guess it’s still too cool to mock Christians. I thought better of Giant Bomb, but I was wrong.

I have to work next to people that proudly promote the Muslim Brotherhood and I can’t say anything to them or the ACLU comes after me. 
 
Now if anyone can tell me the difference between the Old and New Testament of the Bible, without Googleing it, I would be impressed. 

"
I'm not tolerant of stupidity whether it originates in YOUR religion or any OTHER religion. Ignorance is ignorance. As for telling you the difference between old and new testament? Who gives a shit? I couldn't tell you the difference between Dragonball Z and Naruto and that is just about as important and real.
 
It's fascinating how when it comes to religion, any random brainless and unfounded bullshit suddenly has to be tolerated and all ration and reason flies out the fucking window, subjected to nothing more than "belief" as a qualifier. You can "believe" whatever the fuck you want. Just don't get your shit in a twist when I call it out as bullshit. And if you don't want people criticizing or judging it, stop ramming it in their fucking faces, lobbying on behalf of it, and trying to corrupt and conform society and law and government around it until we're nothing more than a theocratic extension of your own selfish personal whims for how the world is supposed to shape up.
 
This goes for all religious idiots. I'm an equal opportunity bullshit-caller.