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That Horrible 3DS Analog Stick Rumor Is Coming True

Bizarre, awkward looking add-on being developed in conjunction with Monster Hunter 3G.

I didn't report on the rumors Nintendo would be releasing an add-on for the 3DS that would provide the handheld with a second analog stick for two reasons. One, I couldn't verify them. In almost every case, if I'm unable to come up with secondary confirmation of a rumor, you won't read about it here. It's not my style. Two, it sounded ridiculous, a move that would make more sense--if any at all--for a re-design. Even if you entertained the idea of it coming prior to a re-design, why split users?

Turns out, it's looking to be true.

The add-on, which reportedly acts as a cradle for the handheld and simultaneously adds several shoulder buttons (there are conflicting reports on this specific fact, hope to have clarity in the morning), has appeared in the newest issue of Famitsu. It's being released in conjunction with Monster Hunter 3G, apparently scheduled before the end of the year, at least in Japan.

What's this monstrosity look like? Your wish is my command, courtesy of Twitter user @south1996.

No, you haven't lost your mind! This isn't some crazy dream!

Granted, much could change; we're getting the very first details on this translated from a magazine reveal. Nintendo has a press conference ahead of the Tokyo Game Show this month, currently scheduled for September 13. We should see more about this add-on there. I'm especially interested in finding out whether Nintendo has the balls to charge for this.

Patrick Klepek on Google+
373 Comments
Posted by SleepyDoughnut

This can't be coming to America...

Posted by TenStoryMother

@PenguinDust said:

Nintendo seems to be run by old Sega execs...

Thank you kind forum poster! For today, you have made me laugh, out-loud, in a crowded place. Well played...well played, indeed.

Posted by Seraphim84

Between this, the price drop, and the supposed redesign, it's becoming pretty apparent that this thing will fail. Not only because of a lack of sales/interest, but also because of the bad movies Nintendo's making in an effort to save their product.

Posted by Juicebox

Wow makes me wonder what monstrosities The Vita will bring.

Posted by confideration

I don't think this is a Nintendo peripheral. But. It's not beyond them to do this shit as we have seen with memory expansion modules, and motion "plus", obviously.

Just start coding a Mario game for iOS, Nintendo. You've lost.

Posted by DougCL

the 3DS seems like a joke at this point, every single feature is a bad case of "too little, too late". i think sony needs to look long and hard at EVERYTHING nintendo has done, because if they can avoid a shit show like the 3DS launch and not tell their early adopters to fuck themselves once a month or so, this could really be the big chance they needed to really get in and dominate the handheld market like they wish they did with the PSP. they clearly have the superior hardware, time will tell about the rest.

Posted by LEGITLakers

This deeply saddens me. I have been a proud ambassador of the 3ds since June and despite the bad sales and lack of games I still had faith that this would turn out to be a wildly successful system in the long-run. This add-on greatly disappoints me and is causing me to question my faith. But who knows if it will even be necessary. Hopefully this will be like that Guitar Hero add-on for the DS and only be used for this one game/series.

Posted by Ichibum

This would make sense for an April Fools...
Posted by LEGITLakers

@jabbertrack: Playing actual games on iOS is still a completely horrible experience. Anything with controls more advanced than Tiny Wings or Cut The Rope is an absolute joke. Good luck having a fun Mario game on a system with no physical controls. Well I guess you could buy those suction cup add-ons if you so desire.

Posted by Oginam

Nintendo: Putting the "Fuck your wallet" in peripheral since forever and a day.

Posted by the_r0n1n_named_47

what the heck is wrong with a handheld WITH a SECOND analog stick? granted this device is wierd and bulky in the pic but hey its better than having to spend another $170 on a new 3ds

Posted by Rowr

OMG

EARLY JUDGEMENT

RIGHT HERE

RIGHT NOW

Posted by AmericanNinja

always knew the 3ds would fail

Posted by Halberdierv2

what the... seriously Nintendo?

Posted by EpicSteve

Did monkeys take over that company or something?

Posted by 49th

What the fuck

Posted by sate2801

I think Sega MD/Genesis just got a successor :o

Posted by TwilitEnd656

It's like they're trying to provide Sony with all the ways NOT to do a handheld. Take notes, Sony, I have much interest in Vita thanks to Persona 4 the Golden, and I'd like a quality product... That's quality from the get-go.

Posted by 617_jbug

In Japan the 3DS has a crazy line up for the holidays (Mario Kart, Inzuma Eleven and Monster Hunter).

Posted by RainVillain

wtf if this makes me lose my nyko battery pak... fuck I might have to sell my 3DS for a Vita. what the hell Nintendo

Posted by Hi_Voltg3

Now I can finally grip the thing properly with my giant hands!
Posted by Evilsbane

Should have just put the damn 2nd stick where the ABYX buttons are and moved them down a bit, it would have been perfect, this just looks sloppy

Posted by solidlife

Yes nintendo because that is going to fit in my pocket.

Posted by kollay

That's like a cancer on the 3DS.

Posted by mrtroy
@the_r0n1n_named_47 said:
what the heck is wrong with a handheld WITH a SECOND analog stick? granted this device is wierd and bulky in the pic but hey its better than having to spend another $170 on a new 3ds
Of course there is nothing wrong with a second analog stick.  The obvious problem is that they should have delayed the launch of the system and released the 3ds with one, rather than making early adopters buy this huge attachment.  
It also sucks because game developers may have to design games to work both with or without a second analog stick, whereas if they had launched with it then everyone would be developing with a second analog stick in mind.  And if every game starts requiring a second stick, I personally would find it annoying that my 3ds had to become so wierd and bulky.
Edited by MackGyver

Looks like a deformed handheld.
 
This also reminds me of previous handhelds that got a ton of add-ons that didn't make sense or look good either. R.I.P. Sega Game Gear.

Edited by Kjellm87

I think people overreact, as usual.

* Is there a marked for this thing?: If it is for Monster Hunter, I would say so.

* Is it greedy of Nintendo / Capcom?: Some would say yes, but those people should know that console marked is the some of the most brutal marked there is, and it ain't getting easier-

* Should the 3DS get a redesign or is it doomed?: No, after the price drop it sold very well and stock increased 10%. It sells now like the DS sold early on, and 1st party stuff have yet to arrive the next months.

* Should the 3DS have a second stick?: Wouldn't hurt, but in return it have the touch screen.

* Will phone gaming take over?: It has the potential, but if those developers turn their phone into a handheld, then what is the point? It's a great alternative for simpler games and smaller developers, good stuff.

Also a funny idea, could this thing become a WII-U controller?

Posted by Chet_Rippo

Guyz I know you like hardware so we made hardware for your hardware, so you have the potential to play more games that we will never get around to making

Posted by ArbitraryWater

That thing looks...cancerous. I guess I'll wait for the inevitable 3DS re-release that has the second analog stick built in.

Posted by apoloimagod

Nintendo has lost its touch... again.

Posted by DrRandle

Maybe it's just a left hand stick for lefties! Please god let it just be a left hand stick for lefties....

Edited by Pr1mus

Hopefully this ain't real...  everyone said one analog stick was a mistake for the psp and nintendo went on to make the same mistake 6 years later and now would fix it with this hulking monstrosity? what the fuck is this shit!

Posted by Zippedbinders

Suddenly, 5 pages of complaints from people that don't own a 3DS. It looks funky, but seriously its a goddamn add on. Its no worse than the E-Reader.  
 
Oh wait, none of you got that either, and the GBA still did fine.  

Posted by themartyr

Time to wait for the redesign, then.

Posted by lord_canti

personally i think that the 3ds is too thin it gets uncomfortable in long sessions. but this seems like bad design things like the wireless switch and the game slot are blocked meaning that you will need to remove this thing to change games. it will split the user base will look ugly will take up even more space in my pockets than it already does ladys and gentlemen welcome to the 32X of Nintendo

Posted by Raineko

So what? How the fuck else you wanna play MH on that thing? 
I'm getting this shit.

Posted by TheChadster789

Typical Nintendo behavior.

Posted by MattBodega

As a 3DS owner and a Monster Hunter Tri fan, I think this control stick add on looks HIDEOUS. It makes the 3DS look more like the Atari Lynx.

Posted by Kayrack
@Zippedbinders said:
Suddenly, 5 pages of complaints from people that don't own a 3DS. It looks funky, but seriously its a goddamn add on. Its no worse than the E-Reader.   Oh wait, none of you got that either, and the GBA still did fine.  
hahaha very true, it seems like a lot of concern on how ugly it looks and if its only for monster hunter, how many people here are actually going to buy that...
Posted by Munkippo

Why does Nintendo hate me for buying a 3DS early?

Posted by RE_Player1

I'm guessing this will only be supported by like 3 titles just like Motion Plus and every other Nintendo add on.

Posted by greatplainsbison

What is happening to Nintendo?

Posted by CodeTherion

I really can't decide if this is desperation or developers just realizing that without that second analog stick your asking for trouble with a console that powerful. You can't restrain the power of the 3DS to touch screen manipulation.

Posted by RampageAssassin

Silliest thing ever ! Why didn't they just put two sticks on it in the first place. They had to be hearing all the hate on the PSP for the same thing !

Posted by Bollard

BUT YOU CAN FUCKING PLAY MONSTER HUNTER WITH ONE ANALOGUE STICK YOU TARDS WHY OH WHY CAPCOM WHY. 
 
Just because people don't understand how to claw their hands across a console to use the dpad for viewing doesn't mean you have to make this turd. This better not become a real whole 3DS revision.

Online
Edited by dillinger

Gah. I think there is an issue with Patrick (or anyone) posting news stories with their express negative or positive opinions explicitly known in the title, and throughout the article. When Jeff or someone does it, they're a little more professional, giving you the facts and then placing their opinion subtly at the bottom, allowing consumers to decide for themselves without any pre-disposition. Here people are coming in with a negative attitude already and it's just poor journalism all around.

That being said, I don't like this thing, but I also don't need to buy it, so what's the fucking big deal?

Edit:

By the way, no disrespect meant to Patrick or anyone else that does it. I just find it a little....sleezy. It's like how political media is always one sided one way or the other, and sway their viewers accordingly. This site is supposed to be neutral, man!

Posted by Brendan

@Kjellm87 said:

* Should the 3DS get a redesign or is it doomed?: No, after the price drop it sold very well and stock increased 10%. It sells now like the DS sold early on, and 1st party stuff have yet to arrive the next months.

It's important to note that Nintendo is now losing money on each system sold because of the price drop. I'm not saying that they're doomed, but they're not in a much better place yet. I'm sure it will pick up when the 1st party hits come out.

Posted by megalowho

Oh god, it's even bigger than the stand that comes with the 3DS. I'm supposed to hold that in my hands, in a crowded subway train?

Poor design, and it shows a rare lack of confidence on Nintendo's part for what the draw/direction of this system is supposed to be.

Posted by Tactless

@lord_canti said:

personally i think that the 3ds is too thin it gets uncomfortable in long sessions. but this seems like bad design things like the wireless switch and the game slot are blocked meaning that you will need to remove this thing to change games. it will split the user base will look ugly will take up even more space in my pockets than it already does ladys and gentlemen welcome to the 32X of Nintendo

This

Online
Posted by Jackalol

i'm pretty sure that this is a third party peripheral, and is only meant to be played for monster hunter and maybe one or two other games 
 
so, uh, why is everyone losing their shit over this?