The Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force Thinks We're Perverts

Whatever

I'm ALWAYS offering kids my 'seed' in Animal Crossing

So, when I heard the news that every adult who plays AnimalCrossing is a pedophile, well, I figured AnimalCrossing needed a hero, someone who could be tough on these criminals like they deserve. I made a video of it, of course. AnimalCrossing with Rorschach:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJKGdpBGoV8

But who watches Tom Nook?

It'd be nice if Nintendo were to sue them for slander.

Animal Crossing: Pedobear-approved.

Animal Crossing: Let's Go To 4Chan edition.

Right now all I've got in my head is a lot of weird, shifty looking people into overcoats going into a seedy looking store with low lighting and very discretely asking the filthy shopkeeper whether he has the latest Animal Crossing in. But seriously, this whole thing about child predators operating across Animal Crossing: City Folk is ridiculous, everyone knows the real pedophiles are on Wild World.

Other than the misinformed information, they also called it "animal crossing".
Someone didn't learn about proper nouns in second grade...

Yeah i had the same problem with the chocolate milk aisle.

You can probably buy Animal Crossing cheap now! Only problem is if others see you buy it.....
There are gonna be some funny vids and photoshop pics with animal crossing in it now, lol.

Goddammit! I'm a pedophile I guess! Hey GB_crew, hit me up and we can go find ourselves some kids together!

Yeah, i'd like some peaches.

Dude what...?

Tom Nook is a capitalist bastard. He's everything that's wrong with decadent, modern society. Tom Nook is the Bernard Madoff of the Animal Crossing world. He runs the greatest ponzi scheme ever to be concocted in a videogame.

The citizens of Animal Crossing must rise and overthrow the bourgeois tool of oppression.

Andy Anderson of the Mid-Missouri Internet Crimes Task Force secretly thinks to himself:  "Ok this is a sweet gig.  I really need to make it look like I do something other than surf 'Craigslist' for hookers and download porn looking for underaged girls.  If I play my cards right I can get  a couple video game systems up in here."

lol missouri.

I can see where Animal Crossing can be used as a device for pedos but, the guy sure went too far.

I mean hell, anything that connects anonymous people together can be used for pedo criminal activity.

Pedobear is a pioneer in nonlinear usage of Animal Crossing!

Kids don't really have to worry. With all the killing skills they learn from GTA, they can just beat the pedo Animal Crossing playing adults to death with their wii-motes.

Just because I'm an adult and play Animal Crossing doesn't mean I go around offering bells for pics of little kids' private parts. Ignorant people are ignorant.

'Hey you there whats that in your hands?'
'Uh a ds'
'What ya playing on it?'
'... animal crossing'
*cop starts beating man with baton*

I wont get into it but this really really frustrates me and annoys me.  I'm shooting the Mid Misosuri Internet Crimes Task Force a message.  It won't do any good but this crap they spout makes everyone involved (including themselves) look bad.

Whats there to do in Missouri anyway?

FOLKS, FOLKS!  WE'VE GOT BREAKING NEWS!!!

"

Alright guys, what do you think next weeks "hot button issue for the totally uninformed" is going to be?

I'm gonna say Need for Speed encourages beastiality.
"

Nah, Need for Speed obviously is encouraging drug use. It's in the title! Damn you EA!

Haha strictly speaking though, there really is no good reason for an adult to be playing Animal Crossing. I love it! But i'm not gonna stand up and say i feel particularly mature in my OCD urge to stay at home on new years eve to watch some virtual fireworks when i can just mess with the system clock at any time to do the same at my leisure.

Man i was just reading this already and telling some friends... it will never end.

Although they're getting closer this time, Tom Nook is a slave driving bastard.

Everyone's blaming the media for covering the story, the bigger concern to me is how out of touch law enforcement is.

Why would you play Animal Crossing anyway?

Jeff, don't let me catch you wandering around any preschools! 

Definately.  I for one am a pedophile.

As annoyed as I get at these news people using dumb stories to fill airtime, just seeing that wonderfully horrible bear is enough to lift my spirits.

Didn't the commercial for Animal Crossing City Folk feature two grown adult women playing the game and talking about shopping? Wow...what dirty dirty whores they were. All this time, who knew?

ok so now violent AND non violent video games are bad?

I do find myself having this strange attraction to mustachioed men in overalls after playing some interactive video games.

I live in Springfield (southern Missouri)... And I HAVE.... absolutely nothing to say.

Tom Nook is so  hawt...

Considering how much I've played, I'm serving forever

lol

I wonder what they would say about the, Don't Shit Your Pants Game?

Rofl, and I suppose there's no good reason for adults to like Pixar movies either.

"Doesnt it have some online co op play or something.  It would be a little wierd for someone in their late 20s and up playing with kids.  Christ its annoying enough to deal with kids in any online game, just hearing them speak is like that screeching noise when you rub plastic.  So i could see the leap in logic there I guess.  Its a leap, but a bit valid.  "

Oh Pedobear. You and your crazy antics!

"MMMM YOUNG CHILDREN"

To be fair, the comedy came when Mr and Mrs Anderson called their son Andy.

Wouldn't it be awesome if pedobear would be one of the inhabitants of your city?

not really...

These CRIME REPORTS hurt my brain.