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Vinny's Top 10 Reasons Why Dave's Top 10 CRPG List Is Wrong

Have you even played any of these games?

So Dave recently posted this:

"Coffee in hand, it's about time to start the morning off with a list of something. Since many of you know I'm a big RPG nerd I thought it would be fun to list out some of my favorite modern-era CRPGs." - Dave Snider

I might not be as big an RPG nerd, but I do have a bigger coffee in my hands. In my mind that gives me the authority to tell you why Dave's list is completely wrong.

10. Divine Divinity
I can invent games too.

I absolutely adore surprise attack RPGs from Europe that I know nothing about until it lands on a game-shelf near me. -Dave

How about you pick a game somebody has heard of? Why don't we try that first. Hey, you know what game I really like? Deus Imperium. See, I can make up RPG titles too. Obviously this game should be number one.


9. Fallout

...as a fan of TBS combat Fallout took everything I loved about the X-Com games and put them into a completely original world - Dave

So you're telling me that Fallout just edges out your totally invented European RPG? Number nine?  A few sides short of a 20-sider to even crack your top five? I'll tell you what, you stack up every elf, half-elf, half-elf-half-orc-half-furry you want against the Bloody Mess trait and see who is left standing. Number one RPG of all time.


8. Baldur's Gate II

...when it comes down to pure story and quest options, Baldur's Gate II remains a favorite. - Dave

Yeah, Baldur's Gate II is a great game. So great that it made it all the way to number eight. I mean, this is the reason people make a Top Ten RPG list, so they can get to number one and say "Baldur's Gate II is my favorite game EVERRRRRRRR!" You obviously did not play this game correctly otherwise it would be number one on this list.

7. Planescape Torment

I know I'll catch a lot of flack for this, but I almost didn't include Planescape Torment on my list. - Dave

The fact that this game is not number one speaks volumes. You can never die! It has the best dialogue and supporting characters of any RPG in the history of video games. Morte and Ignus alone would push this game to the top. In fact, this game is probably too good to even be on your list.

6. NeverWinter Nights 2

This game had a pretty gripping story, a hugely enhanced party control system and much better dialogue. - Dave

Ok. I agree with this one, though it should be number one.

5. Icewind Dale II

It's a hard, brutal game that loves to throw not two or three, but ten monsters at you at any time. - Dave

WHAT-ever, Dynasty Warriors throws like 100 characters at you at a time. R.A. Salvatore is only connected to winners. Number one game ever.

4. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

I still think the combat in the Elder Scrolls games are pretty weak, but when you want to actually visit another world, I can't recommend a better series. -Dave

Morrowind has some of the most readable text in any game ever made. Combine all the text of all the games on this list and it might fit into one of the forwards of one of the billions of books that you'll find throughout the game. This game is like a Kindle with swords and it deserves to be number one. Why walk, when you can ride?

3. Wizardry 8

Wizardry still remains the weirdest CRPG universe to me... - Dave

I haven't even played this game, but I know a series really doesn't hit its stride until about its 8th or 9th installment. This is like the Jason X of video games and should be at the very top of anyone's list.

2. Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura

Oh Arcanum, the game you could have been. - Dave

Ok, in all honesty, if this game actually worked it would be number one. Seriously.

I dare you to find better box art.
1. The Temple of Elemental Evil

...for fans of the genre who aren't afraid to play a game with very little story, I can't think of a better CRPG. -Dave

How the hell is Crystalis not the number one game on this list? It set the bar for amazing box art and floating towers. It also has a nuclear war, elemental swords, an Emperor, science, magic, and cryogenic sleep. In my mind, you might as well close the book on the RPG  genre.





Vinny Caravella on Google+
83 Comments
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Posted by Vinny

So Dave recently posted this:

"Coffee in hand, it's about time to start the morning off with a list of something. Since many of you know I'm a big RPG nerd I thought it would be fun to list out some of my favorite modern-era CRPGs." - Dave Snider

I might not be as big an RPG nerd, but I do have a bigger coffee in my hands. In my mind that gives me the authority to tell you why Dave's list is completely wrong.

10. Divine Divinity
I can invent games too.

I absolutely adore surprise attack RPGs from Europe that I know nothing about until it lands on a game-shelf near me. -Dave

How about you pick a game somebody has heard of? Why don't we try that first. Hey, you know what game I really like? Deus Imperium. See, I can make up RPG titles too. Obviously this game should be number one.


9. Fallout

...as a fan of TBS combat Fallout took everything I loved about the X-Com games and put them into a completely original world - Dave

So you're telling me that Fallout just edges out your totally invented European RPG? Number nine?  A few sides short of a 20-sider to even crack your top five? I'll tell you what, you stack up every elf, half-elf, half-elf-half-orc-half-furry you want against the Bloody Mess trait and see who is left standing. Number one RPG of all time.


8. Baldur's Gate II

...when it comes down to pure story and quest options, Baldur's Gate II remains a favorite. - Dave

Yeah, Baldur's Gate II is a great game. So great that it made it all the way to number eight. I mean, this is the reason people make a Top Ten RPG list, so they can get to number one and say "Baldur's Gate II is my favorite game EVERRRRRRRR!" You obviously did not play this game correctly otherwise it would be number one on this list.

7. Planescape Torment

I know I'll catch a lot of flack for this, but I almost didn't include Planescape Torment on my list. - Dave

The fact that this game is not number one speaks volumes. You can never die! It has the best dialogue and supporting characters of any RPG in the history of video games. Morte and Ignus alone would push this game to the top. In fact, this game is probably too good to even be on your list.

6. NeverWinter Nights 2

This game had a pretty gripping story, a hugely enhanced party control system and much better dialogue. - Dave

Ok. I agree with this one, though it should be number one.

5. Icewind Dale II

It's a hard, brutal game that loves to throw not two or three, but ten monsters at you at any time. - Dave

WHAT-ever, Dynasty Warriors throws like 100 characters at you at a time. R.A. Salvatore is only connected to winners. Number one game ever.

4. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

I still think the combat in the Elder Scrolls games are pretty weak, but when you want to actually visit another world, I can't recommend a better series. -Dave

Morrowind has some of the most readable text in any game ever made. Combine all the text of all the games on this list and it might fit into one of the forwards of one of the billions of books that you'll find throughout the game. This game is like a Kindle with swords and it deserves to be number one. Why walk, when you can ride?

3. Wizardry 8

Wizardry still remains the weirdest CRPG universe to me... - Dave

I haven't even played this game, but I know a series really doesn't hit its stride until about its 8th or 9th installment. This is like the Jason X of video games and should be at the very top of anyone's list.

2. Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura

Oh Arcanum, the game you could have been. - Dave

Ok, in all honesty, if this game actually worked it would be number one. Seriously.

I dare you to find better box art.
1. The Temple of Elemental Evil

...for fans of the genre who aren't afraid to play a game with very little story, I can't think of a better CRPG. -Dave

How the hell is Crystalis not the number one game on this list? It set the bar for amazing box art and floating towers. It also has a nuclear war, elemental swords, an Emperor, science, magic, and cryogenic sleep. In my mind, you might as well close the book on the RPG  genre.





Staff
Posted by iAmJohn

Man, I wish every day was April Fools Day!

Posted by BiggerBomb

The Witcher. 'Nuff said.

Posted by snide

This is an outrage. I protest this protest of my list.

Posted by Drebin_893

Haha, I love these.

Posted by Gunrock

These posts are gold!!!

Posted by Weltal

You tell 'em Vinny!

Online
Posted by OmegaPirate

Mr snider! youa re not alone! i too love divine divinity!!! 3 discs of glorious rpg godliness


WHY ISNT IT number 1!!!!
Posted by goodwood

haha are these lists a shot at IGN?

Posted by Coltonio7

Tsk, Giant Bomb Civil War begins.

Posted by punkxblaze

Oh my god. Best april fools ever, all the other sites (COUGHIGN) are just doing the predictable fake game bullshit.

Posted by MattyFTM

Lol, I'm loving these lists. They're awesome.

Moderator
Posted by jakob187
snide said:
"This is an outrage. I protest this protest of my list."
And we protest your protest with a protest of all of our own top 10 lists...

...because our top 10 lists are better than all of Giant Bombs!!!  BWAHAHA!!!
Posted by License_To_Bill

I love you, Vinny.

Posted by Winternet

Pure OWNAGE from Vinny..April Fool's Day 4ever

Edited by MattyFTM

Also, do I suspect that a "Dave's Top 10 Reasons Why Vinny's Top 10 Reasons Why Dave's Top 10 CRPG List Is Wrong Is Wrong" is coming?

Moderator
Posted by Dalai

Vinny's list is officially better because of Crystalis... man I love that game.

Posted by VilhelmNielsen

More like 10 top-1 lists...

Posted by HT101

@ Matty: I think you may be onto something with that.  We just need a Ryan list and the pentfecta is complete.  A nice way to keep my going so I don't kill myself because of all the crappy April Fool's jokes there are.

Posted by TripMasterMunky

Whoooo listsssssss

Edited by MattyFTM
HT101 said:
"@ Matty: I think you may be onto something with that.  We just need a Ryan list and the pentfecta is complete.  A nice way to keep my going so I don't kill myself because of all the crappy April Fool's jokes there are."
Nah, the lists will only be complete when there are enough top 10 lists to have a "Top 10 Giant Bomb Top 10 Lists", although a ryan list would be a nice stop along the way to completeness.
Moderator
Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw

Haha!  Great stuff!

Moderator
Posted by Vager

All your asses are wrong!!

Pigeon Boy Adventures into King Arthur's Merry Land Kingdom is clearly the best game ever made. You can NOT deny the awesomeness of it.
Anything but FIRST would cause your internal organs to explode into happy flush cakes of mashed pigeon poo. 

... I swear on your pity soul that it will happen... Edit the Article.. now.

Posted by JoelTGM

Nice, er, list!  Giant Bomb has more top 10 lists than anybody.

Posted by ahoodedfigure

Dude-you-are-being-so-sassy

Posted by RHCPfan24

Dues Imperium! I love it!

Posted by Spiritof

Vinny is some kind of pissed.

He said "Kindle with swords", that's a "break glass in case of emergency" kind of analogy. Impressive.

Posted by FlipperDesert

It's like a rap battle, only better.

Posted by ZeroCast

Pure Win.

Posted by TwoLines

This is pure genious.

Posted by Rinkalicous

"Deus Imperium set the standard for CRPGs as we know them today."


I hear that, brother. What other game featured such an impressive array of Fried Pork?

Or was that Deus Imperium 2?
Posted by blaakmawf

VIN FTW

Posted by FiestaUnicorn

Hey maybe if you guys were more respectful of lists you would understand that this needs to be settled in the Thunderdome.

Posted by hyperslug

Haha! epic win

by far the best aprils fool of the year :)

Posted by TwoOneFive

BUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNN  *CRASH*

Posted by BoG

Kindle with swords? I need Oblivion.

Posted by Dryker
Posted by ManiacMaysin
Crystalis looks awesome... thanks for mentioning it.
Posted by SuperfluousMoniker
Crystalis, hell yes!
Edited by MrKlorox
Posted by Pkshields

I seen Daves list earlier today, whem I seen this I died laughing. Amazing Vinny.

Posted by megalowho

Yo Vinny! Rebuff that big ass top 10 CRPG list!

Posted by zoozilla

I agree with Vinny completely, except I thought that Fallout should be number one.

Edited by Spiritof

Crystalis IS an awesome game.

It's like playing old schoolZelda, only if Zelda were a crack whore. It's one of my fondest 8-bit memories.

Posted by RenegadeSaint

Burn!

Edited by dagas

NWN2 was a huge dissapointment. Just a list of sterotypical characters. A drunken dwarf who wields an axe, speak foul language and is just looking for a fight...hmm...where have I met hime before, oh that's right in every other fantasy story ever!

Posted by KensterFox

Hee-larious.

Posted by EricWinholt

Hahaha. Maybe it's because I've been drinking, but this list was the best one.

Posted by Kyle

I love you, Vinny.

Posted by Civraz

I just gained a whole new level of respect for Vinny. Is there an official fan club? If so, I want in...

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