The biggest differences are in the way that spawning happens, the loadouts and in the gamemodes.
You and your friends will be able to create your own 4-player "squads" in MP, where you can spawn on any living player if you die and get more XP for helping/working with your squadmates.
The perk situation from COD is somewhat there, although you earn the perks separately for each of four player classes, plus a few "all class" weapons and items.
BF:BC2 has fewer gamemodes. Conquest is like a larger scale Domination. Rush is like Demolition with eight targets, accessible two at a time (gotta destroy the first two targets before the next two will unlock). Squad Deathmatch is Team Deathmatch, but 4x4x4x4. There's a co-op mode called Onslaught which is basically Conquest vs. AI, and that's about it.
Never played any of it splitscreen, so YMMV. Hope that helps.
EDIT: Oops, looks like I take too long to type. Apparently no splitscreen so you may be out of luck.
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