. . . but I do.   
      
     First, some background. The first step on a long road that led to me buying an Xbox 360 instead of a PS3 began with "Devil May Cry".  I was midway through the game, and I had just finished off a boss who then proceeded to not only not have the decency to die, but rather to grow a whole 'nother life bar! So, I beat this monstrosity (a giant gun, I think it was) the second time and this, this...thing sprouted ANOTHER life bar. I pressed pause, took a deep breath, set down my PS2 controller rather than chuck it out the window and realized that I was starting to hate Japanese game design.  Years later, after having been out of video games for a while, this would be the deciding factor in which next-gen console I was going make my way back into gaming with. The 360 seemed to have more western-developed titles, so I got a 360 Pro and a copy of Fallout 3.  
 
     Flash forward to this afternoon, and I've just completed the Bayonetta demo for the fourth time. Seeing that I've only gotten a bronze trophy for my performance, I'm contemplating just how many more times I'm going to play this demo before going out to buy the full  game. I set down my 360 controller, take a deep breath,  look up to the heavens and yell with resignation: "I'm going to buy this fucking game! Aaarrrgh!"  This game by that very same personage who had designed the hated Devil May Cry. This very game that wasn't on my radar's radar as far as intent to buy. I was quite comfortable in my cozy little "the next game I'm buying is Mass Effect 2" world. Heck, I've even pre-ordered ME2, a moral compromise to which I thought I'd never stoop (damn you, poor, downtrodden  GameStop retail associate!).  
 
     But here I am, remembering Bayonetta take a battle-axe the size of a Buick, plant it into the ground vertically and perform a pole-dance of death, which the game is making me actively participate in by madly mashing the "X" button.  *sigh*   There is a twinge, speaking of moral compromises, of  dirty when I play this game, a waft of fruity stripper perfume smokily remembered from a place in Vegas called '"Fantasiez" or "Cheetaz" or . . . never mind, the point is, as long as I keep telling myself that  Hideki and the gang are in on the joke, that there is a broad-ass wink and a nod to all of the adolescent hyper-sexuality, then I can play a game that makes me. . . smile. Yes, I said it, smile. The game is a sheer joy to play; at once exhilarating, exuberant, imaginative, tightly-controlled, deep, forgiving and (putting aside the T&A  for a moment) quite pretty to behold. So I'll give the designers that wink and nod right back and just let myself enjoy the ride. Just don't expect me to play any Final Fantasy any time soon. . . or ever again.

. . . but I do.   
      
     First, some background. The first step on a long road that led to me buying an Xbox 360 instead of a PS3 began with "Devil May Cry".  I was midway through the game, and I had just finished off a boss who then proceeded to not only not have the decency to die, but rather to grow a whole 'nother life bar! So, I beat this monstrosity (a giant gun, I think it was) the second time and this, this...thing sprouted ANOTHER life bar. I pressed pause, took a deep breath, set down my PS2 controller rather than chuck it out the window and realized that I was starting to hate Japanese game design.  Years later, after having been out of video games for a while, this would be the deciding factor in which next-gen console I was going make my way back into gaming with. The 360 seemed to have more western-developed titles, so I got a 360 Pro and a copy of Fallout 3.  
 
     Flash forward to this afternoon, and I've just completed the Bayonetta demo for the fourth time. Seeing that I've only gotten a bronze trophy for my performance, I'm contemplating just how many more times I'm going to play this demo before going out to buy the full  game. I set down my 360 controller, take a deep breath,  look up to the heavens and yell with resignation: "I'm going to buy this fucking game! Aaarrrgh!"  This game by that very same personage who had designed the hated Devil May Cry. This very game that wasn't on my radar's radar as far as intent to buy. I was quite comfortable in my cozy little "the next game I'm buying is Mass Effect 2" world. Heck, I've even pre-ordered ME2, a moral compromise to which I thought I'd never stoop (damn you, poor, downtrodden  GameStop retail associate!).  
 
     But here I am, remembering Bayonetta take a battle-axe the size of a Buick, plant it into the ground vertically and perform a pole-dance of death, which the game is making me actively participate in by madly mashing the "X" button.  *sigh*   There is a twinge, speaking of moral compromises, of  dirty when I play this game, a waft of fruity stripper perfume smokily remembered from a place in Vegas called '"Fantasiez" or "Cheetaz" or . . . never mind, the point is, as long as I keep telling myself that  Hideki and the gang are in on the joke, that there is a broad-ass wink and a nod to all of the adolescent hyper-sexuality, then I can play a game that makes me. . . smile. Yes, I said it, smile. The game is a sheer joy to play; at once exhilarating, exuberant, imaginative, tightly-controlled, deep, forgiving and (putting aside the T&A  for a moment) quite pretty to behold. So I'll give the designers that wink and nod right back and just let myself enjoy the ride. Just don't expect me to play any Final Fantasy any time soon. . . or ever again.

Oh my, you might want to break this wall of text up a little. I like pictures too.

I got up to Mass Effect 2 then my eyes started to burn.

i really hope they're in on the joke. please let them be in on the joke or the game is ruined

Please, make paragraphs, then I will read

This really seemed like a game that I would pick up on the ultra cheap (a Steam sale perhaps) and end up getting into. I never liked DMC and the rest of the beat-em-up style games never appealed to me either. But I played the 360 demo a couple times engaged throughout. I dismissed it as sexuality induced euphoria though.
 
Too bad there's not a PC version because I couldn't see myself paying full price for this game and I hate the concept of used game sales. Steam is virtually my only game purchasing outlet.

Also shame on you for even using Gamestop. Their Siren's call of pre-orders lures even the saltiest of gamers.

Dude, Paragraph!
 
This hurts my eyes on Safari! All the white!

Dude said that he didn't like Japanese games because of bosses that keep dieing except not really but then he decided that Bayonetta is a good game.
 
Irony. Applause.
 
We're done here.

:| jesus