Music from Main Menu now available for everyone! (Soundcloud)

#1 Edited by Kohlstream (74 posts) -


Link to song on Soundcloud.

You can download it from there too.


ok I managed to get past that bloody sneaking bit and got to the section where the gangsters catch you. I managed to record the tune while you are being questioned.

Naturally I assumed the title of the track would be "Be Quip or be Dead"

Be Quip or be Dead

Id like to hear more of the soundtrack but I don't know if its physically possible to get any further.


Well I finished the damn game and there was only one more piece of music.

Isn't quite as good as the other two though.

The Fast Monket

What the hell is a Monket?


#2 Posted by Daneian (1229 posts) -

I snagged it, thanks.

#3 Posted by BlastProcessing (917 posts) -

That "Holocaust Never Happened" track personally intrigued me more.

#4 Posted by Kohlstream (74 posts) -

@BlastProcessing: yeah that was back on the old Podtoid ('s podcast) when Anthony Burch (now a writer at gearbox) was working there. There was this stupid meme where the community would take samples from the podcast completely out of context and make a dance track out of it. I miss the old podtoid, good times.

#5 Posted by csl316 (8646 posts) -

Super. Watched this last night since it's free on Amazon Prime. And man, Axel F gets played a LOT during that movie (I prefer the silly version when they're trying to climb a wall).

I'll make sure to play Axel B even more.

#6 Edited by Kohlstream (74 posts) -

Because I'm sure ALL of you are curious about what happens after you finish a level, here you go.

Edit: A few more classic Axel sayings.

#7 Posted by GrantHeaslip (1592 posts) -

@Kohlstream said:


#8 Posted by Kohlstream (74 posts) -

Yeah so i just finished Beverly Hills Cop for the Playstation 2. The humanity...


#9 Posted by MaFoLu (1858 posts) -

This song feels like it would fit perfectly with some Hotline Miami.

#10 Posted by TheHT (11235 posts) -

on behalf of all humankind, i thank you for your service.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#11 Posted by DigTheDoug (178 posts) -

I can't believe you finished it. Amazing. Thanks for your contribution.

#12 Edited by Abendlaender (2803 posts) -

@Kohlstream said:

Because I'm sure ALL of you are curious about what happens after you finish a level, here you go.

Edit: A few more classic Axel sayings.


Oh man, this is just amazing!

So, how was the game? Good? Great?

#13 Edited by Kohlstream (74 posts) -

@Abendlaender: No it wasn't good. Saying that its one of those 'It's so bad I need to keep playing to see if it gets any worse' kinda games. I did get a lot of enjoyment out of how laugh out loud bad it was so in a strange way it was well worth it. There are six levels that all make you sneak the first bit then shoot your way out. The exception is last level where Axel pretty much says "fuck it lets just shoot up the place".

The first level is by far the hardest. The second level was a chore but you have a machine gun that's practically one-shot kill so its much easier. The other levels you have an assault rifle (remember when Axel had an assault rifle in the movies?) that just makes the games stupidly easy.

There are 'bosses' that consist of trying to kill dudes before they can run away for some reason. The final boss confused me for a while as I assumed you have to kill him before he gets to a chopper but no no, you OBVIOUSLY need to just stand where you are and just shoot at the chopper for a little bit to make it crash.

There was a change of pace on the strip club level. You are snooping around when you go up to one of the bartenders and he asks you for no reason to collect some Martini glasses so you can get a key.


0/5 as a released product that you paid real life monies for.

5/5 for the music, shame there wasn't more than 3 tracks.

3/5 for the effort to make an unfinished prototype into something resembling a playable game.

4/5 for legitimate entertainment even if that entertainment was laughing at how bad it was.

Final Thought

If this was a movie then it would have been on Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

#14 Posted by nelsonfalker (16 posts) -

@Kohlstream: You are a hero.

#15 Posted by Slab64 (1055 posts) -

@Kohlstream said:

Oh wow, I bet those strippers were expertly rendered and animated.

#16 Posted by tennings (3 posts) -

@Kohlstream: Jesus, I just made a review of this game on Monday. I never would have thought anybody else would have ever played it!

#17 Edited by Kohlstream (74 posts) -

@tennings said:

@Kohlstream: Jesus, I just made a review of this game on Monday. I never would have thought anybody else would have ever played it!

That was really funny, nice one. Protip for the end boss if you ever have a brain aneurysm and decide to play this game again: After the cutscene where the chopper comes in, don't move. Just shoot it till it dies. It can't shoot you there and the bodyguards wont get to you before you destroy it.

#18 Posted by tennings (3 posts) -

@Kohlstream: I just beat it. Now I'm just wishing I hadn't wasted my time! (though what was I really expecting?). Thanks :)

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