Why does Bowser kidnap Princess Peach?

#1 Posted by Hizang (8533 posts) -

What does Bowser hope to achieve by kidnapping Princess Peach?

#2 Posted by TheGreatGuero (9130 posts) -

Damn, dude. Isn't it obvious? She makes good cake!

#3 Posted by Hailinel (23928 posts) -

He's a horn dog, dude.

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#4 Edited by amomjc (977 posts) -

Some one once told me that Mario pays Bowser to kidnap her for a faux bully kind of mentality so his weak-ass can come in and stomp him to make him look great in front of Peach. Mario wants a piece of her cake but understands he cannot afford a princess on a meager plumber's salary. He needs to improvise and make her want him!

Yeah, I just made that up btw.

@Hizang: Stop making pointless threads with irresistible topics >:(. Oh and for your next one, make it something about Banjo Kazooie.

#5 Posted by HadesTimes (802 posts) -

He knows its the only way to get to Mario, if you know what I'm saying....

#6 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -

Its just..kinda his thing dude. Birds chip,Dogs park. The scout kills people. And Bowser commits assault/kidnapping often. 

#7 Posted by Milkman (16535 posts) -

Believe me. You don't wanna know.

#8 Posted by Hailinel (23928 posts) -

BRB guys writing hawt Bowser/Peach pr0n.

Or should I say...Peach/Bowser pr0n?

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#9 Posted by bybeach (4729 posts) -

I'm confused. His description lists him a male, but I fail to see the evidence. He must luv Princess Peach Platonically.

#10 Posted by Hailinel (23928 posts) -

@bybeach said:

I'm confused. His description lists him a male, but I fail to see the evidence. He must luv Princess Peach Platonically.

Or Peach is hiding something under her skirt.

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#11 Posted by Marz (5643 posts) -

where else do you think Koopa Kids come from :P

#12 Posted by Solh0und (1758 posts) -

Koopas need love too.....

#13 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

To take over Mushroom Kingdom. It doesn't make sense, but a plumber killing turtle and becoming a giant by TOUCHING a mushroom doesn't make much sense either.  Oh wait... I was suppose to make a joke or something? Oh. Sorry.

#14 Posted by Video_Game_King (36050 posts) -

He wants to play dolls with her.

#15 Posted by Berserk007 (203 posts) -

Ever think Peach is Koopa's old lady and Mario is just some crazy stalker plumber she dated once in college?

#16 Posted by Dagbiker (6939 posts) -

He just wants attention.

#17 Posted by MikkaQ (10268 posts) -

It's all explained in Paper Mario. Dude's in love.

#18 Posted by Beforet (2912 posts) -

Bowser isn't kidnapping her. That's just what she tells Mario.

#19 Posted by Mmmslash (2166 posts) -

Very relevant.

#20 Posted by MasturbatingestBear (1188 posts) -

@amomjc said:

Some one once told me that Mario pays Bowser to kidnap her for a faux bully kind of mentality so his weak-ass can come in and stomp him to make him look great in front of Peach. Mario wants a piece of her cake but understands he cannot afford a princess on a meager plumber's salary. He needs to improvise and make her want him!

Yeah, I just made that up btw.

@Hizang: Stop making pointless threads with irresistible topics >:(. Oh and for your next one, make it something about Banjo Kazooie.

Lmfao.

#21 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Mario and Bowser are actually close friends, but their relationship was torn apart but Mario's destructive relationship with Peach.

Bowser knows she won't commit, and that she just uses Mario for his plumbing and head-stomping abilities. Mario just won't see it though, and has become obsessed, neglecting his job and his personal life for his visits to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Even worse, Bowser went to the one guy who should have had Mario's back, Luigi, only to find that weak-willed bastard is just an enabler for Mario's horrible addiction.

Finally, Bowser just snapped and decided to intervene, but alas it was too late. Peach had her hooks in and Mario was insensible with rage, turning on Bowser violently as that pink-clad harpy cheered him on with promises of 'cake'.

#22 Posted by big_jon (5709 posts) -

Sex and cake.

#23 Posted by ShadowConqueror (3050 posts) -

He's a rapist.

#24 Edited by NMC2008 (1231 posts) -

He likes eating peaches and she's the only one left in the Mushroom Kingdom.

#25 Posted by Video_Game_King (36050 posts) -
#26 Edited by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

Its obvious.

#27 Posted by Slag (4034 posts) -

Doesn't Bowser Jr think that Peach is the Koopa Kids' mom?

Woman likely owes Bowser some serious unpaid child support if somehow true.

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#28 Posted by matthias2437 (985 posts) -

@Hailinel said:

He's a horn dog, dude.

#29 Posted by Landon (4130 posts) -

This thread totally needed to come back.

#30 Posted by Marz (5643 posts) -

for sexual relations

#31 Posted by spartanlolz92 (511 posts) -

hes a kleptomaniac except he likes stealing princesses

that or a rapist

#32 Posted by BabyChooChoo (4293 posts) -

He's tryin to get a bite of dat peach...

...plus she enjoys it because she's mad kinky like that.

#33 Posted by Phatmac (5721 posts) -

Play Paper Mario. Bowser is in love! :D

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#34 Posted by Milkman (16535 posts) -

@Milkman said:

Believe me. You don't wanna know.

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