Brad Shoemaker

Biography

Brad Shoemaker

Famous Attributes

Brad controlling your very soul.

"Pulling a Brad"

The Story so Far: A History of "Pullin' a Brad" Moments

• Legendary – Brad gets crushed by a giant bird at 11:28.
  
• The Lord of the Rings: Conquest – Brad is knocked into oblivion at 07:09, falls to his doom at 07:45 and is troll smacked to death at 07:46. He's then impaled with arrows at 10:48 and 11:52, and moonwalks off a staircase at 13:35. (God bless the man, though, he makes it to the end of the level and defeats the Balrog.)
• Tenchu: Shadow Assassins – Brad is vanquished by a loincloth-wearing bandit at  04:18, 05:30, 06:23, 10:02 and, finally, taken out by a sniper at 12:04.
  
• Wanted: Weapons of Fate – Brad catches a bullet (well, a few) at 07:40 and goes parachuting (without a parachute) at 17:00.
• Resistance: Retribution – Cheered on by the mischievous Vinnie, Brad makes a courageous, but foolhardy, last-ditch effort towards the health pack at 16:25. He dies at 16:37 and again at 19:00.

• Red Faction: Guerrilla – Brad gets a little hammer happy and accidentally hits a fuel container for some explosive, and deadly, results at 01:04.

• Battlestations: Pacific – Brad gets his wings clipped at 05:10, 06:35, 09:32 and 09:55, and also flies into a cliff wall, hoping to find the secret entrance to the Batcave, at 14:09. Further aviation-related fatalities occur at 15:48, 18:15 and 19:20.
  

• Velvet Assassin –  Even the morphine can't ease Brad's pain as he dies at 04:23, 04:56, 07:46, 08:36, 13:46 and 15:24.
  

• inFamous – Brad once again finds himself surrounded by a hail of bullets at 09:22, 09:50, 10:25, 15:43 and 24:15.
• Uncharted 2: Among Thieves – Brad consumes an unhealthy amount of lead from some mercs at 11:00.
• God of War III demo-at 22:59 wall vs Brad.....wall F***'s Brad up
  
• New Super Mario Bros. Wii - Too many to count. Majority of them caused by Ryan and others by Vinny and Jeff. a few deaths only were by the hands of goombas or other creatures 

Rumors

• It is believed by some that Brad's voice isn't really that low, but the editors behind Giant Bomb have been pumping up the bass on his microphone for years as a running joke.
• If Brad were to shave his sideburns uneven, the resulting shift in balance would make him incapable of standing up.
• Controversy has started over Brad's use of the well-known "F-bomb". There have been scientific reports that show the use of this foul word by Brad causes the same effect as "the brown note".  This is a sonic frequency whose vibrations cause people who hear it to uncontrollably experience violent defecation. Some studies have shown that there is a possible solution to this effect:  Brad dropping F-bombs through a vocoder.  Unfortunately, a handful of test subjects were sucked into a time rift of nothingness that was somehow opened from this.  Further studies are still needed.
• Loves Bright Eyes, Desaparecidos, Conor Oberst in all of his forms.
• Many people are convinced that Brad does not have an age, and that he simply is.
• Brad's full name is Bradley H. Shoemaker III
• Brad's favorite game of all time is Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2.
• Brad's gaming snack of choice is Figs.