Burnout Crash, the Cartoony Top-Down Racer (With Lobster Monsters) You've Wanted All These Years

  • 57 results
  • 1
  • 2
Avatar image for alex
Posted by alex (3415 posts) -

We caught wind of the existence of Burnout Crash! thanks to the Australian Classification Review Board and their penchant for acknowledging games that have been put into their ratings database, regardless as to whether or not PR people have bothered to announce them yet. Now, the ESRB has gone a step further and written up one of their famously awkward summaries of what the game actually is, and... well, you know what? Why don't you just read for yourself.

 The most disturbing lobster monster of them all.
 The most disturbing lobster monster of them all.

This is an action game in which players earn points for creating traffic pileups. From a top-down perspective, players initiate crashes by driving 'cartoony' vehicles (e.g., cars, trucks, vans, buses) into busy intersections; multiple crashes trigger score multipliers and rack up large 'bills' of property damage. Each level is accompanied by crashing sounds, small explosions, and vocal encouragement (e.g., 'Cool,' 'Maximum Carnage!'). In some levels, players are instructed to crash into police cars (e.g., 'Crash them before they bust you!'); in other sequences, oversized airplanes, tornados, lobster monsters, and UFOs slide across the screen, destroying any vehicles in their path.

Okay, let all that sink in for a moment. I'll wait.

== TEASER ==We good? Excellent. So, on the subject of the top-down perspective, that would certainly fit, given that the current assumption is that this will be an Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network download. It also sounds like this game is, true to its subtitle, largely based around some kind of permutation of the classic console games' crash mode. As for the crashing into police cars? Sure! Why not? We all love crashing into cops. And the oversized airplanes, tornadoes, UFOs, and lobster monsters? I mean, hey! We can... I mean, you know, it's probably just... I mean, I love SimCity, and that game totally had... alright, you know what? I give up. I don't know what to do with any of that.

For what it's worth, the game is rated E-10+. Probably because of all the lobster monsters. No child should have to endure such a thing.
Staff
Avatar image for alex
#1 Posted by alex (3415 posts) -

We caught wind of the existence of Burnout Crash! thanks to the Australian Classification Review Board and their penchant for acknowledging games that have been put into their ratings database, regardless as to whether or not PR people have bothered to announce them yet. Now, the ESRB has gone a step further and written up one of their famously awkward summaries of what the game actually is, and... well, you know what? Why don't you just read for yourself.

 The most disturbing lobster monster of them all.
 The most disturbing lobster monster of them all.

This is an action game in which players earn points for creating traffic pileups. From a top-down perspective, players initiate crashes by driving 'cartoony' vehicles (e.g., cars, trucks, vans, buses) into busy intersections; multiple crashes trigger score multipliers and rack up large 'bills' of property damage. Each level is accompanied by crashing sounds, small explosions, and vocal encouragement (e.g., 'Cool,' 'Maximum Carnage!'). In some levels, players are instructed to crash into police cars (e.g., 'Crash them before they bust you!'); in other sequences, oversized airplanes, tornados, lobster monsters, and UFOs slide across the screen, destroying any vehicles in their path.

Okay, let all that sink in for a moment. I'll wait.

== TEASER ==We good? Excellent. So, on the subject of the top-down perspective, that would certainly fit, given that the current assumption is that this will be an Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network download. It also sounds like this game is, true to its subtitle, largely based around some kind of permutation of the classic console games' crash mode. As for the crashing into police cars? Sure! Why not? We all love crashing into cops. And the oversized airplanes, tornadoes, UFOs, and lobster monsters? I mean, hey! We can... I mean, you know, it's probably just... I mean, I love SimCity, and that game totally had... alright, you know what? I give up. I don't know what to do with any of that.

For what it's worth, the game is rated E-10+. Probably because of all the lobster monsters. No child should have to endure such a thing.
Staff
Avatar image for yummylee
#2 Posted by Yummylee (24646 posts) -

Cool maximum carnage, bro!

Avatar image for phoenix87
#3 Posted by Phoenix87 (661 posts) -

Space Lobsters or no sale.

Avatar image for waywardgamer
#4 Posted by WaywardGamer (81 posts) -

Maximum Chloe.

Avatar image for sbaitso
#5 Posted by Sbaitso (613 posts) -

I'll wait for DJ Atomica to be confirmed till I put any of my money down!
Avatar image for sameeeeam
#6 Posted by sameeeeam (2469 posts) -

They should  just sell the Lobster Monsters separately.

Avatar image for bcjohnnie
#7 Posted by bcjohnnie (458 posts) -

I guess I'm not sure what the problem is... sure this isn't going to be a new real Burnout game, but done right, this could be a lot of fun.  I really really miss crash mode, so a simplified version of that with any depth at all could be worth picking up.


I'm not exactly sure what "cartoony" means here though.
Avatar image for klaimore
#8 Posted by Klaimore (1005 posts) -

What about normal size lobsters in a tornado?

Avatar image for saturdaynightspecials
#9 Posted by SaturdayNightSpecials (2545 posts) -

Sounds fun, but I wonder if the crashes will be as interesting in a cartoon style.

Avatar image for skald
#10 Posted by Skald (4427 posts) -

That sounds crazy. I just hope it's crazy in the right kind of way.

Avatar image for lockwoodx
#11 Posted by lockwoodx (2532 posts) -

Gotta get them before they get you!
Avatar image for jjor64
#12 Posted by JJOR64 (19665 posts) -

So this isn't a main game?  Poop.

Avatar image for terjay
#13 Posted by Terjay (912 posts) -

What. The. Fuck.

Avatar image for hero_swe
#14 Posted by Hero_Swe (1290 posts) -
@Buzzkill said:
"
               

Gotta get them before they get you!

            "

Dada-chum, Dida-chick, Deda-check?
Avatar image for i_smell
#15 Edited by I_smell (4219 posts) -

Sounds like an iPhone game.

Y'know, like that one where you have to manage traffic n not crash cars?

Avatar image for tekkor
#16 Posted by Tekkor (35 posts) -

Ingame image...



1776352-lob.jpg
Avatar image for yanngc33
#17 Posted by Yanngc33 (4551 posts) -

So there is no reason to care

Avatar image for ancientmecha
#18 Posted by AncientMecha (124 posts) -

Somebody call Carbon Neutral Games, sounds like EA's ripping off Unsafe At Any Speed.

Avatar image for hexogen
#19 Posted by hexogen (802 posts) -

Top-down perspective? I'll pass. Chase camera fo' lyfe, son.

Avatar image for romination
#20 Posted by Romination (2831 posts) -

Sounds like Cobra Triangle with cars?

Avatar image for ht101
#21 Posted by HT101 (1498 posts) -

The only thing in that description that doesn't make sense is that the cars, trucks, buses and vans were described as cartoony.  What the hell does that even mean?

Avatar image for chilibean_3
#22 Posted by chilibean_3 (2126 posts) -

Lobster Dog is the greatest!

Avatar image for lordcmdrstryker
#23 Posted by LordCmdrStryker (356 posts) -

This is the way EA is headed, so I'm more disappointed than surprised.  I guess I'll just have to live with Burnout Paradise for the rest of my natural life.

Avatar image for joshylee
#24 Posted by JoshyLee (186 posts) -

You can crash for MAXIMUM DAMAGE!

Avatar image for falconer
#25 Posted by Falconer (2007 posts) -

I have a feeling this is made by some offshoot EA developer, and not Criterion. But if it is Criterion, I would bet this came out of a drunken conversation, someone remembered it, and they've gone mad with power.

Avatar image for kennybaese
#26 Posted by kennybaese (725 posts) -

All I needed to hear was lobster monsters. Provided PSN ever comes back online, I will buy this in an instant. 

Avatar image for flipperdesert
#27 Posted by FlipperDesert (2193 posts) -

Lobster monsters? No, what you have to watch out of is those fucking coconut crabs. They stole Amelia Earhart's remains!

Seriously though EA, just make a real Burnout sequel.

Avatar image for xeiphyer
#28 Posted by Xeiphyer (5806 posts) -

Wasting the franchise!!

Avatar image for andriv
#29 Posted by andriv (274 posts) -
@Hero_Swe: @Buzzkill said:
"

Gotta get them before they get you!
"
thats exactly what I thought of, lobstrosities.
Avatar image for choffy
#30 Posted by Choffy (484 posts) -

Just green light another real Burnout game, EA. Do it. DO IT.

Avatar image for rotnac
#31 Posted by Rotnac (1206 posts) -

Now I fully regret trading in my copy of Paradise...

Avatar image for icytower38
#32 Posted by icytower38 (543 posts) -

As long as Criterion is developing, it'll probably kick some major ass no matter how off the wall it sounds at this point.

Avatar image for eribuster
#33 Posted by Eribuster (764 posts) -

I hope there is another big Burnout in the works. Crash sounds like an offshoot with a Battlefield Heroes art style.

Avatar image for red12b
#34 Posted by Red12b (9360 posts) -

MAXIMUM CARNAGE!
Avatar image for ahmadmetallic
#35 Posted by AhmadMetallic (19302 posts) -

sure why the hell not

Avatar image for jjweatherman
#36 Posted by JJWeatherman (14897 posts) -

Hmm. Well, the concept of lobster monsters is obviously very exciting, but I'm just not sure.

Avatar image for deadmonkeys
#37 Posted by DeadMonkeys (844 posts) -

My friends and I loved the insurance tallies in the original Burnout, and would often play "crash mode" before it was released as an official game type in Burnout 3.

Avatar image for craigbo180
#38 Posted by craigbo180 (1763 posts) -

So an budget downloadable arcadey version of burnout?


Could be tight.
Avatar image for kidman
#39 Posted by kidman (532 posts) -
@JJOR64 said:
" So this isn't a main game?  Poop. "
This.
Avatar image for freakache
#40 Posted by FreakAche (3046 posts) -

Sounds like this has potential, but they really need to get on making a full fledged new Burnout game. It's been three years already! Come on!

Avatar image for cowswithguns
#41 Posted by CowsWithGuns (219 posts) -

Wouldn't it be crazy if this is more dlc for burnout paradise?! I could see them pulling that one....but whatever it is, if its being developed by criterion I'm sure it'll be good.

Avatar image for cronson
#42 Posted by Cronson (5 posts) -

DJ Atomica!

Avatar image for blalala
#43 Posted by blalala (131 posts) -

Oh man, I'll reserve judgement until I see actual gameplay, but damn. Also, is this a Criterion developed game?!

Avatar image for animathias
#44 Posted by animathias (1271 posts) -

Sounds like Crash Mode, so I'm cautiously optimistic. When you break it down, it's really just a puzzle game, so it could work from the top-down angle and there's room for some crazy stuff.

I'll reserve judgment until more info, and hopefully some video surfaces, but I would be down for some more Crash Mode, even if it's a little weirder and has a different camera.

Avatar image for googly
#45 Posted by Googly (248 posts) -

Lobster sticks to magnet.

Avatar image for mistermouse
#46 Posted by MisterMouse (3601 posts) -

ahh hohoho puppy!!!1

Avatar image for mooseymcman
#47 Posted by MooseyMcMan (12465 posts) -

I'm not gonna lie, lobster monsters totally make me want to play it more. 

Online
Avatar image for subway_ninja
#48 Posted by Subway_Ninja (9 posts) -

this game sounds great

Avatar image for roddykat
#49 Posted by Roddykat (263 posts) -

Damn shame what they did to that puppy.

Avatar image for xpgamer7
#50 Posted by Xpgamer7 (2474 posts) -

ESRB made it sound evil and crazy. I fully expect a T rating if not a E10.

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.