BURNOUT AIN'T NO PARADISE FOR ME!
If you hadn't noticed already, summer is here and I'm already sweaty and uncomfortable. I'm honestly not a summer person, give me rainy chilled out thunderstorms anyday compared to this sort of weather. I'm well informed in knowing that the current heatwave is affecting many countries around the world, although we were rather lucky to get a couple of thunderstorms hit the area yesterday. Being the weirdo that I am, I stood outside getting soaked and feeling like a four year old kid again who had just experienced heavy rain for the first time. Anyway, onto the item of choice for this blog entry. It's fitting that with this heat, I discuss another sort of summer related topic in the form of paradise. But this being a videogame site, I am of course talking about Criterion Games ever popular Burnout: Paradise and my general dislike for the game.
Now before I begin my rant, please don't hate on me for having such opinions. My ramble is mostly based on taste rather then flaws with the actual game, just keep that in mind before you leave a comment telling me I should shove a bookcase where the sun don't shine. Anyways, Burnout: Paradise is of course the latest incarnation of the thrilling Burnout franchise. Beginning it's days on the Playstation 2 with the original game, it grew to become one of the most adored arcade racers about and still one of the best experiences in videogames. While some might say that Paradise is infact the best the series as ever seen, I beg to differ. Without a doubt, the most well rounded and perfect Burnout game was of course Burnout: Takedown which I owned a copy of for the original Xbox console. Now we could argue which is better for hours upon hours, but despite my dislike for Paradise. Even I can see why folks love it so, and why the downloadable content continues to attract new gamers.
Now I wish to make clear that I don't hate Burnout: Paradise, I couldn't due to my fondness for the franchise as a whole. But I find it hard to enjoy, and when I do eventually start to get a degree of enjoyment from the game. Something I hate about the game rears it head to remind me why I could never feel at home in Paradise City. It's not helped by the fact that Criterion Games felt they needed to add many of the features I absolutely hated about the Need for Speed games, the city being one of the main reasons I dislike this game. For many of you, the city makes perfect sense and I wish I could feel the same. But I grew to love mastering the more linear tracks of the old Burnout games, and understanding where the best takedown areas of each track were. Of course one could argue that that is possible with Paradise, but I find the fact that I need to look at the map every couple of seconds just to make sure I'm taking the right turn infuriating.
I'm sure some of you will provide very worthy argument on why I should be more patient with Paradise, I do own the game and I have put in many hours with the game. But I would much rather stick in my copy of Burnout: Revenge or pick up the downloadable version of Takedown through Xbox Live then spend extra cash on downloadable content I know I probably won't enjoy. I could decide to not touch a Burnout game for a good five to six months and then return to Paradise, maybe I'll suddenly see why so many of you love playing it so. But even then, I'll probably end up playing Revenge and realising why I fell in love with the franchise in the first place. I didn't wish for this blog to be filled with a list of what I hate about the game, partly because I don't really hate it. I dislike it, and just pray that one day developers Criterion Games decide to develop a new Burnout game in the classic old style way. It'll probably never happen, but a man can dream can he not. But for now, I guess I have Revenge to feed my hunger for over the top arcade action.
What are your thoughts on the ever changing Burnout franchise?
To end this blog, I thought it would be nice if I took you back in time a little with the classic Burnout: Takedown intro (one of the few intros, I never actually skipped).
(Ah, the memories)
Thanks for Reading,
Joseph Bayliss (TrueEnglishGent)