Incredible Castle Crashers Fan Fiction

#1 Posted by StarFoxA (5157 posts) -

Found this while browsing the Behemoth forums. What a wonderful piece of literature (I didn't change it at all). This deserves to be held in such high esteem as other masterpieces, such as Half Life: Full Life Consequences.
 
5 Years after the events of Castle Crashers have had happened a new evel was araising from the kingdom. More evel than the Wizard and the Catfash and Cyclops. This evel was called Wizardfishclops and kiiled all the other knights at one attack. the Wizardfishclops reeked hovoc in the kingdom. untiil one knight said NO!. He was the Uranium Knight and had special magic armor that made him the armor of anyone he touched. He had already touched the red, green, blue, orange, and bear knights. and the grey knight but the grey night did nothing.
He quackly formed a team of special knights, they were teh dark night (he was once an evil gothic magic losar, but reformed his evil ways and used his necro magic to help the good), the Wizard Minion (who did not the wizard and gave all secrets of the wizard to good) and the painter's son (he did not want follow his fathars evel ways and only painted happy and fon things until Wizardfishclops burned down his studio and said "hahuh you paint no moer good things you paint only burns and ashes!" than he flew back to his magicul floating Wizardfishkeep in victory). The Uranium Knight, who was leader of operation began speech to raise morail. He says "ok guys I know we all have dark paths, but we must get over that to save the kingdom. For this is now the land of good and happy, not dark and despair, so we should be good and happy, not dark and despair. SO WE MUST FIGHT!!!" Everyone then shooted HUZZAH! except the dark knight who shaked his head dramaticaly yes.
Now they set off because the king pointed them in the direction of the way of the way they should have gone. The Wizardfishclops took them princesses to his Wizardfishcave and put them in antimagic jars so they can't call people or turn into clowns. The red princess was now totally a goth. Now they are into right direction they go to creepy forest filled with poo monstars because the Wizardfishclops had cast a speel on the pooping animals and made their poop evil. After making it through the forest they went to the industriel castle which was now an evil castle named crawl-mart. There was a evil man outside who said welcome to crawl-mart eat your soul get out. They set crawl-mart on fire because it was evil and steal money from small business. They fought the evil dead organ player who could not play organ anymore. They went to the volcano but the cyclops was dead. After going to desert they saw the crashed alien which had blown up and been raised and blown again and the hominids that were there had been been fighting and now had dead when ship crashed again then caused death. The 4 specials knights were expert volleyball players and played in the kingdom olympics. The Uranium knight had touched all the knights expect the peasant and the civilian bcause they do nothing.
And then they final castled. The Uranium knight yelled "EVIL WIZARDFISHCLOPS WE HAVE COME TO STOP THE EVIL YOU EMBODY IN YOUR BODY. WE WILL FIGHT TO DEATH AND AFTER DEATH BECAUSE ONE OF IS NECROMANCER, YOU WILL NOT WILL NOT RAIN SUPREME INSTEAD SUNSHINE WILL SHINE AND BUNNIES WILL FROLIC IN THE FIELDS TOGETHER, WE WILL DEFEAT AND EAT YOUR CORPSE AT BARBEQUES!" And the Evil Wizardfishclops said "NO you will not win, there will no bunnies or sunshining in the frolicing fields. instead darkness and evil will win!" Then he transformed into ball and shot energy waves at them, but they were clever and they dodged the waves and hit the ball. And then the treasure chest fell on wizardfishclops and they they win. But when they open chest giant one eyed fish pops even bigger than one eyed fish earlier. And then the Dark knight says "EVIL WIZARD WE MUST TOUCH OUR MAGICS TOGETHERS TO MAKE A BALL OF EVIL DARK ENERGY TO BLOW THE ENERGY CREATURE AWAY BUT IT WILL BE FOR GOOD CAUSE SO DO NOT FRET" And then the knights say "you are right dark knight we must do this to say save kingdom, quick touch our magics together" then the Uranium with the help of the wizard and painter son touched their magics and paint to the dark knight and made energy ball that does maximum damage and one hit kills wizard. They all leveled to 256 but since they were not hackors they did not get lag or bandage. The kingdom is saved! (also the dark knight made out with the red princess who was now the dark princess but then became light princess and light knight when they found love deep in the heats of each others!)

#2 Posted by Metroid545 (1823 posts) -

wow I got a kick out of this!
 "WE MUST TOUCH OUR MAGICS TOGETHERS"
best line

#3 Posted by StarFoxA (5157 posts) -
@Metroid545 said:
" wow I got a kick out of this!  "WE MUST TOUCH OUR MAGICS TOGETHERS"best line "
I don't know, I'm partial to the end. It's very touching how they found love deep in the heats of each others!
#4 Posted by ZombiePie (5666 posts) -

What the hell was that?

Moderator
#5 Posted by StarFoxA (5157 posts) -
@ZombiePie said:
" What the hell was that? "
A work of art.

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