Condemned or it should be
Now before all of you "Dark" And pre mordom "self loathers" Out there get all defensive there comes a time when everyone knows when someone is reaching for attention and condemned is that kid that tells you his house is haunted cause he sees a shadowed figure in his closet. That is what truly grinds my gears. If you disagree thats fine we can agree to disagree, If you like it good for you go play it but don't expect me to silence my oppinion to make you happy. Now to get this peice rolling, Enemy time.
This pile of happy time fun is some kind of meth addict or something I cant really remember all i knew them as was Grendel. Seeing as how they look like Grendel from the Beowulf movie. Now these are some of the most usless enemy characters you'll meet in a game ever. They make so much noise that there is no way they can sneak up on you and when they do jump at you you can just do some quick button presses and snap them in two essentialy.
Now these things are litteraly dumb as rocks, Take my word for it I actualy stood in front of one that was walking tword me and he just walked right on by. They kinda look like a Grendel covered in tar. They are crap sandwitch at the bottom of the dumbster. Most of the time you'll just be walking in some black stuff i assume is tar and they will pop out and say hi you simply mash the triggers and bam you tear them in two. Yes you heard me, You actualy tear them in HALF.
Now lets get to the rest of it. In this game they use being hit in the head with a brick as a means of changing areas in the game litteraly you get beat with a brick like 4-5 time in just the first 10 minutes. I mean come on cant you come up with anything better than getting BRICKED!! Yes that may over annoy me but i'm allowed to have my gripes. Now the main character was Ethan thomas, A cool character in condemned not really unrealistic but at least thats what pulled me in. Now you are like an asprin addict on a crazy spree.
I mean look at him. Looks like he used some really bad toothpaste and so he started going on a beating spree.
Given he's not the worsed hero i've ever seen, I've seen Master chief and I HATE me some master cheif. I don't hate Halo I just hate Master chief. And on another note he looks like he's trying to get shot, I mean look at his shirt... Yeah, Good job guys put a bullseye on his chest. And that leads me to another point the gunplay.
The guns felt disconnected from the other types of gameplay they just didn't fit. It was like they were trying to please too many kinds of people and it all ended in utter failure. I can find other examples of this same thing happenting but i'll get to the end of this review so I can get all the hatemail out of the way.
All in all I will say DON'T buy this. I swear I am a survival horror fan I love me some classic resident evil and older silent hill games so don't say I just hate the ganre. By the way Silenthill homecomming.... Oh another time perhaps, Now if you'll pardon me this grendel needs a punting.