PETA Continues To Suck

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Posted by Jeff (3577 posts) -
Mama kills animals! Delicious animals!
Did you know that eggs bleed when you crack them open? Or that they occasionally have feathers in them? Those are just a couple of the stupid faux-scare gross-out tactics that the group PETA is employing in its pathetic Flash game attempt to educate people about that whole "meat is murder" thing while simultaneously lashing out at the Cooking Mama series with its charged parody, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals.

Hell, I like Mama more already.

Maybe it's just me, but every time I see these sorts of stupid shock tactics employed by PETA, I want to take it out on a delicious steak. Or perhaps a chicken sandwich. The game itself is a collection of dopey minigames that all feature an angry-faced version of the Cooking Mama herself, occasionally wielding a bloody knife.

Then it'll lay out some tips for you between stages as you prepare a Thanksgiving turkey. Like this gem:

What Mama Never Told You:

In the U.S. almost all birds have their throats slit while they're still conscious, an according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, millions are scalded to death in tanks of hot water.



Hooray! Perhaps you have a point there, PETA, but your militant presentation of the issues ensures that I'll continue to ignore it!

I'm currently on the "remove the head" level. I think I get to saw off a turkey head, dude! Rad!

Joystiq went ahead and embedded the game if you're interested, but it's probably not worth the trip. The image of Mama with bloodlust in her eyes is really all you need to see.
Staff
#1 Posted by Jeff (3577 posts) -
Mama kills animals! Delicious animals!
Did you know that eggs bleed when you crack them open? Or that they occasionally have feathers in them? Those are just a couple of the stupid faux-scare gross-out tactics that the group PETA is employing in its pathetic Flash game attempt to educate people about that whole "meat is murder" thing while simultaneously lashing out at the Cooking Mama series with its charged parody, Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals.

Hell, I like Mama more already.

Maybe it's just me, but every time I see these sorts of stupid shock tactics employed by PETA, I want to take it out on a delicious steak. Or perhaps a chicken sandwich. The game itself is a collection of dopey minigames that all feature an angry-faced version of the Cooking Mama herself, occasionally wielding a bloody knife.

Then it'll lay out some tips for you between stages as you prepare a Thanksgiving turkey. Like this gem:

What Mama Never Told You:

In the U.S. almost all birds have their throats slit while they're still conscious, an according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, millions are scalded to death in tanks of hot water.



Hooray! Perhaps you have a point there, PETA, but your militant presentation of the issues ensures that I'll continue to ignore it!

I'm currently on the "remove the head" level. I think I get to saw off a turkey head, dude! Rad!

Joystiq went ahead and embedded the game if you're interested, but it's probably not worth the trip. The image of Mama with bloodlust in her eyes is really all you need to see.
Staff
#2 Posted by LordAndrew (14426 posts) -

I had more fun making the real turkey than the crappy tofu turkey.

#3 Posted by OmegaPirate (5522 posts) -

For crying out loud :( stop this madness!

#4 Posted by FallopianTube (106 posts) -

and fuck vegitarians too man

#5 Posted by ManMadeGod (1561 posts) -

PETA is such a joke. As Jeff said, most of the things they do hurt their case (like this).

Does anyone even care what PETA does/says anymore?
#6 Posted by Jotun (555 posts) -

Ah PETA. The People for the Eating of Tasty Animals. That is what we're talking about, right?

#7 Posted by Kohe321 (3529 posts) -

Madness!

#8 Posted by Pibo47 (3166 posts) -

Fucks sake. This is getting retarded. PETA is going outa control. I love animals, I want animals to be treated well. I also like eating meat and think if people wat meat they should not be attack in this way.

#9 Posted by LCad (269 posts) -

Can't the folks who publish Cooking Mama take this down or something?

#10 Posted by Lifestrike (482 posts) -

I love me some cooked dead animal!

#11 Posted by albedos_shadow (1485 posts) -

That is absolute insanity.

#12 Posted by Geno (6477 posts) -

For every 1 animal that a PETA member "saves", I will eat 3.

#13 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

When I was kid, I would have to hold the chicken on a stump, while my dad chopped off it's head... I thought it was pretty awesome watching the bird do its headless dance. I still eat chicken, tasty.

#14 Posted by Kaido (249 posts) -

Read the comments on Joystiq, their reaction makes me have faith in rationality among men.

#15 Posted by Froghourt (108 posts) -

I played through the entire game *SPOILERS*

The last level they teach you to make a tofu dish as an alternative to turkey, with the message "you changed mama so she wont kill animals" or something like that.

*SPOILERS END* (like you really care)

I have PETA. They are hypocrites and idiots.

#16 Posted by Origina1Penguin (3501 posts) -

To be honest, PETA has done, and definitely said, much dumber things than this.

#17 Posted by HeartbreakRidge (28 posts) -

To thank PETA, I went out and ate some foie gras.

#18 Posted by pause422 (6188 posts) -

lmao, what a bunch of stupid fucking morons. I think it would be a great idea for anyone that hunts, or kills an animal in the future, to send their head to one of the PETA offices.

#19 Posted by borgmaster (513 posts) -

that game's awesome, you get to pluck the turkey, pull out it's guts, chop it's head off, and then cook it. 5 stars

#20 Posted by dsplayer1010 (2227 posts) -

Thanks PETA. I needed a laugh.

#21 Posted by Canthros (3 posts) -

Tasty, tasty murder.

Actually, I've had a couple disturbing experiences with chicken eggs, but that happens when you have chickens. Fun fact: roosters crow for a number of different reasons, including to inform the world that they just scored!

#22 Posted by LordAndrew (14426 posts) -

I couldn't figure out the egg game.

#23 Posted by Elazul (1327 posts) -

I can't believe how hypocritical and completely useless PETA are. All they ever do is grab at headlines with both hands, under the pitifully thin guise of pretending to give a shit about anything other then being in the limelight.

Do they have any idea how many people would have died needlessly without animal testing? Do the care that the soya industry causes massive amouts of ecological damage both by destroying hundreds of thousands of miles of rainforest so that it can be used for growing the crops, and by poisoning and even killing local humans (and even their beloved animals), with fertalizers and pesticides? Do they even consider that without the meat industy, the world would be in an even greater food crisis than it already is? Of couse not, because addressing actual world issues without the use of brazen and almost completely fictitious shock tactics dosen't generate publicity.

#24 Posted by Scooper (7881 posts) -

Hey guys I actualy live near a farm and we get some pheasents in sometimes when the farmer's been shooting (I dunno if you get them in the US but they're a very gamey bird) and I get them, pluck them, and cook them and they're fucking delisious!

But hey.................... that soya's pretty good isn't it.

#25 Posted by TechnicallyProficient (100 posts) -

I don't understand why the eggs bleed.

#26 Posted by Stealthoneill (249 posts) -

Hmm.. Now because we can all be as stupid as this game I will be consulting my lawyer for reperations for the 10 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Next we will see 'Marcus Loves Locust' Coming to a gaming outlet near you..
#27 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (6197 posts) -

PETA will never get me to stop choking the chicken.

Moderator
#28 Posted by OzzerOzby (50 posts) -

If only this was a downloadable game with points and trophies...

#29 Posted by Lewis (17 posts) -
Did they include the fact that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian? of course i'm not saying that that was the reason for the holocaust; or that theres anything wrong with being a veggie, just that you can take a fact out of context and use it to make a point, but just because its a fact doesn't make your point a valid one.
#30 Posted by DukeTogo (1504 posts) -

Pringles are people!

#31 Posted by Pkshields (810 posts) -

I had a go at it, pretty bad game too. It was the comments at the side between games that were hilarious!

#32 Posted by MisterMollusk (399 posts) -

I think they should stick to naked Dennis Rodman pictures.

#33 Posted by whackmypinata (941 posts) -

As a vegetarian, I'm actually offended by your post Jeff. Call me uptight, whatever; I don't give a shit.
PETA is being way too extreme in this case, but to resort to saying "lol i will eat so many animals now," is just as bad.

#34 Posted by Pibo47 (3166 posts) -

Whackmypinata. I am going to go eat an animal now, just because of your post :)

#35 Posted by wefwefasdf (6729 posts) -

What is PETA? ;-)

#36 Posted by Zatoichi_Sanjuro (945 posts) -
Dude, we totally taught this lion to only eat tofu.
#37 Posted by xWOBBx (30 posts) -

all animals go into shcok when there necks are sliced thus feeling no pain.

#38 Posted by whackmypinata (941 posts) -

Hey Pibo47, congratulations. I'm going to add you my list of insensitive people on the internet.

#39 Posted by RHCPfan24 (8609 posts) -

I hate when the PETA does this.  Their intent and everything is good, but their execution is quite horrid and offensive.

#40 Posted by waza (47 posts) -

does guys (PETA) would be ready to do anything for saving a pet or at least not letting it suffer

but they wouldn't be able to find a solution for stopping a relative from suffering (let's say : a human being that would only have assisted medical suicide to stop suffering)

#41 Posted by MrKlorox (11209 posts) -

I hope a lawsuit is pending. These pounders from PETA need to get slapped.

#42 Posted by Knibbly (107 posts) -

Kudos to the Giant Bomb crew for their diligent disrespect to things they find dumb. Meat ftw! :p

#44 Posted by eduardo (360 posts) -

Funny how this shows up right near the Thanksgiving holiday, when millions of turkeys are killed for a single dinner holiday...

#45 Posted by salavaster (23 posts) -

For a second there I thought it was the PTA, and i was thinking 'what?~ isn't this super hypocritical?'. Then I saw P'E'TA oh right... (-_-;)

#46 Posted by lamegame621 (975 posts) -

"Do you know what they do to those animals?"

"No, but it's delicious"

                       -Jim Gaffigan

#47 Posted by MetalRocker (58 posts) -

Die PETA

#48 Posted by toadstule (280 posts) -

Ah...crazy PETA... Thanks for providing us with a pretty entertaining flash game.

*Goes to eat a chicken sandwich*

#49 Posted by jakob187 (21671 posts) -

Alright, so I played the game.  Here's the review:

The controls suck and need more precision.  I mean, come on...knives handle WAY better than that.  By the time I'm done making my turkey dinner, I'm pumped and ready for the festivities.  I thought it was going to be awesome.  However, the ending was probably one of the worst I've seen outside of Fallout 3 this year.  Just pathetic.  How anti-climactic can you get??!?!?!

The game was easily becoming one of the best of the year, but with such loose controls and terrible ending, it's just hard to recommend this to anyone with half a brain.

1/5 stars.
#50 Posted by CactusWolf (539 posts) -

I'm with Whackmypinata. This is a bit hypocritical.

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