Dan's egg story...

Seriously I'm no cook but boy, how did he even come to the conclusion of cooking the eggshells. I couldn't stop laughing at Dan telling that story.

"Mom, the eggshells aren't melting" :D

Dan is an...interesting person to be sure.

@monkeyking1969 said:

Dan is an...interesting person to be sure.

...I would watch the hell out of that. I loved that show.

Wait, what is this shoebox story?

In some poetic twist of fate he'll probably end up loving it. It'll backfire on the rest of the crew because he'll bring the cans in for lunch and they'll have to smell it all the time.

As a Midwesterner, this makes me slightly furious. I'm not a food idiot, my bed has a frame (and a head board!), and I've never seen a bar what plays bingo in it.

Dan is just as confusing here as he is anywhere else.

That would be the best thing ever. Just the best.

Well, not for the rest of the guys. Hazmat suits probably cost a lot. Or at least gas masks.

As someone who is also very awkward and nontraditional Dan speaks to my Sensibilities. You know when he isn't shit talking mustard that is.

@oldenglishc: You must live in a state of constant rage, as I do, living in the Midwest. But isn't that why you're on the Giant Bomb forums? Looking for anyone to share your unique similar interests. I live here as well (in my case, Ohio), and my 2 best friends eat almost exactly like Dan. They order their cheeseburgers plain, maybe some ketchup. No vegetables, and definitely nothing green in color. They don't like to try anything new i.e. going to see Dave Matthews Band play the same show he's been playing for 15 years at the same location, year after year. And they will swear how things that are bad, are not actually bad. Like saying Dominoes pizza was good before Dominoes changed their recipe.

@derek_davis: I'll run into a few rubes here and there, but for the most part, everybody I know is into more than just wrasslin' and chicken fingers. Us fine folks in the heartland need to start doing our part to put a stop to the stereotypes.

@oldenglishc: oh man you're right... I forgot chicken fingers!!!

The second comic has made me realise how the era of beard Jeff has just straight snuck up us. Nice work Duder.

The first time I heard the egg whites story I thought, "Well that's pretty funny." For whatever reason I wasn't feeling it at that moment. The second time, though, I lost it. HOW CAN A GROWN ASS MAN DO THAT?!

Dan's busy churning out golden nuggets for the community to interpret, this is great.

Wasn't there a story where Dan was eating potato salad his mom made until he found it had mustard in it. And then threw it all out?

ps. This is how we make Dan's finicky tastes legendary by making up stories from half remembered stories told and retold!

Oh god this reminds me of another dumb Dan story from GI, as a kid Dan thought glasses were cool so when he got his eyes tested he chose wrongly on purpose so he could get glasses, this in turn fucked up his eyes so for a long time he actually needed glasses, I think his dad paid for lasik as a college graduation gift iirc, but that's been wearing off so he needs reading glasses.

I think if I had a child who did that, or much of what Dan does, I would have booted him out of the house at age 18.

I imagine 6,000 years ago a father and mother in central Greece looked out the window of their sheep-skin hut to see their child...let call him Dan...spinning in the front year with a drinking gourd on his head.

The father looked at his wife and said, 'I have an idea that has been kicking around in my head about what to do with the boy. I call it the “agoge,” it will be a village-sponsored training regimen designed to mold boys like him into skilled warriors....hell, I be happy with FUNCTIONAL adult who doesn't spin around like a fool. Anyway, this “agoge" is where the boy lives in a communal barracks. The boy is instructed in scholastics, warfare, hunting....and NOT SPINNING around like a fool. At age 12, he will be deprived of all clothing save for a red cloak and forced to sleep outside. And, most importantly, I imagine A LOT of floggings for beat some sense into him...the boy has never eaten an olive! He's a damn greek and he won't eat olives, lamb, or yogurt !!!"

The wife than says, "Sounds good to me...although it is still not too late to throw him down a well...after all this is Sparta"

@jadegl: Woah, you're a mod now? Awesome! :D

Awesome comics too, love the peering into the egg pan. Also, this thread has enriched my life with the knowledge that a man was walking around E3 looking at butts on Tumblr.

No one ever has to worry about that. I don't take anything personally.

@danryckert: Woo, that's good to hear! However, there were no food stories during today's UPF so I'm gonna need some new material in the next Bombcast. Thanks in advance!

I must have missed it, but what's the shoebox story from? Great work by the way.

Unless I'm mistaken it was mac and cheese she had made with sour cream. That one blew my mind. Deciding you don't like something as innocuous as sour cream without ever trying it, eating it without knowing and loving it, then throwing it all in the trash when you find out. Just wow. Good thing he seems pretty damned awesome in so many other ways!

Naturally, since Dan doesn't prepare food at all (apparently) his chef outfit would be spotless.

@pabba said:

All right, back for round two! This time, it's all about the shoebox surprises:

Look at the tear in his eye. The man is in heaven.

I like your comics~ I havent made very many before so.. i think mine are dumb. :P

the second comic was funny, made me laugh

For a while Dan was living off of cheese-filled hot dogs that he would macrowave inside a shoebox because he was too poor/cheap to spring for new paper plates and he doesn't believe in washing dishes. Microwaving them on a paper towel never occurred to him.

@sweetcrys: Thank you! I'm working on a third one already :D

All right, here's a new comic, based on Dan's scary realization that he could eat 100% biodegradable cutlery made from corn and potato starch. Not that he should, of course. DO NOT LET HIM EAT FORKS WITH FORKS.

@pabba said:

All right, here's a new comic, based on Dan's scary realization that he could eat 100% biodegradable cutlery made from corn and potato starch. Not that he should, of course. DO NOT LET HIM EAT FORKS WITH FORKS.

Came here hoping for a new comic and I got one! I was two months late, but I'm glad I checked.

I love that he calls the waiter an idiot, like ordering a bowl full of forks is the most normal thing ever. Good touch with the fork in the fork on the fork in Dan's hand, by the way.

Oh man, just now seeing these. They're all great. Well done.

These are great!