I never truly lost it, did I? It being the love and passion of playing video games. I still play them...sometimes. I still read reviews...sometimes. I visit Giant Bomb daily and kept up on news and watched videos (I do!). So "it" is there, just sort of lost, buried, or tangled in something.
For the past few years my desire to actually play games has dwindled. This has not stopped me from playing them (or buying them). Yet, even when I do play them, the joy I used to get just is not there. The days of rushing home from school, plopping down and turning on whatever machine and playing whatever the latest game for hours is long gone. The most likely cause of this is adulthood. I am not a 16 year old with nothing better to do. I am 21. I have a girlfriend. I have a job. I go to school. Yet none of those things really hold me back that much, in my head at least. The enjoyment is just gone, nowhere to be found. I try, try, and try again (thanks Steam Summer Sale)! to find that spark that will bring back even a little bit of what I used to have. Incredibly, I think I may have found it.
Dark Souls. We all know what it is. It has been talked about to death and it has spread everywhere on the internet. Although it might seem cliche that "Oh of course Dark Souls did X to X person", I still can't believe it myself.
I bought the original Demon Soul's a year or two after it came out. I needed a PS3 game and heard it was pretty good/challenging. Long story short, never got past the tutorial level. Did not care for it, did not want to waste my time (really did not give it a chance, but at the time anyways...). Then nothing for a while. Heard about Dark Souls a bit, but did not really follow it. Then it started to gain infamy on this very website. Vinny has a video series, forum threads were everywhere, and Dark Souls spread like wild fire through the tubes of the internet. I never really read or followed anything about the game, but still felt like I knew everything about it through osmosis.
I was bored one night and had watched all the latest Giant Bomb videos. Me, not having the desire to play video games anymore, thought I would give the "Load your Last Souls" a try. Boy, what a treat. Besides Vinny being Vinny, the videos really drew in my interest because of the game. I was fascinated. I wanted to play the damn game! I had not felt that passion in a while. It was euphoric.
This was strange. Strange because everything I knew about Dark Souls did not appeal to me. Dieing over and over (and over)? No thanks. Insanely hard, built around boss fights, exploring, and the chance for some guy to invade you and screw you over? Hell no. I did not like anything that I saw or heard about the game.
So I downloaded Dark Souls for PC a few days later (on sale as well) of course. I was scared, but from the first boss on, I was having an absolute blast. I was looking up things on the internet, about boss's, weapon stats, how to do this, that, and the other. 60+ hours later, I never looked back..until now.
Lord Gwyn has been vanquished and I honestly do not know what to do with myself. I had not wanted to play a game so badly in so long. For days all I could think about was the next move I was gonna make, the next stat to level, the next area, the next boss, etc. It was a great feeling. A familiar feeling. After beating Gwyn all I could do was continue to play. I made it back to Firelink Shrine and quit. I went to bed. I woke up. Now here I am thinking about this game with a smile on my face, debating whether I should go through NG+ (which after I found out you have to re-get keys, and all that other busy work, makes me not want to) or just jump into Dark Souls 2.
So have a fully regained my passion for playing games? No, not yet at least. Dark Souls has got me in the right direction though. I was looking at a list of games that I have, but never played and the itch to play them was there. Instead of "ugh why did I even buy these I don't want to play them" it was "I feel like playing something, just do not know what yet".
Maybe I am giving Dark Souls too much credit. Maybe I just really loved THIS game. Either way I am gonna think about Dark Souls some more, probably buy and start playing Dark Souls 2, and hopefully start playing and enjoying a different game again, for the first time in a long time.