The Steam description of the Prepare to Die Edition is just awful

#1 Edited by mrcool11 (469 posts) -

Now, I'm not generally someone to get upset about these sorts of things. I'm actually not upset, I'm just kinda surprised and confused by how bad those 8 or 9 paragraphs are. I beat dark souls twice, and have literally no idea what the writer was getting at here. I know the story to Dark Souls is pretty vague and ambiguous, but sweet mercy....

"When you begin this adventure, you are soulless. You must emerge from the abyss to reclaim your soul in order to reach the land of the living. Make social connections, win games, find eggs and solve riddles—and increase your soul energy until you get your entire spiritual essence back. The gauge at the bottom of your dashboard numerically measures the amount of soul energy you have earned. Check your gauge each day to keep track of how much soul energy you have. Do your best to get your numbers high enough so you can say once and for all: Be gone, evil forces, my soul is mine and I am alive!"

The whole thing is right here, if you want. I have no idea how much sense this makes to people who haven't played Dark Souls, but I think it's pretty clear that this fellow or gal did not.

EDIT: looking over it again, it seems to really emphasize the vertical nature of some of the levels, for no reason at all, misspell the names of any mentioned characters or places, and talk about things that aren't actually in the game. I don't even...

#2 Posted by mtcantor (951 posts) -

So it makes as much sense as the game's official documentation?

#3 Posted by Blomakrans (151 posts) -

This is just ridiculous. It's insane that someone who has so little knowledge of a game is allowed to write these descriptions. I've stopped reading those descriptions long ago, I find that they rarely help me get a decent idea of the games they represent.

#4 Posted by Phatmac (5728 posts) -

This represents the games shitty use of words so perhaps its intentionally bad?

#5 Posted by Tylea002 (2295 posts) -

In tone, it looks perfect for a description for Dark Souls.

#6 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

You recovered.

#7 Posted by Turambar (6898 posts) -
@mtcantor said:

So it makes as much sense as the game's official documentation?

@Phatmac said:

This represents the games shitty use of words so perhaps its intentionally bad?

@Tylea002 said:

In tone, it looks perfect for a description for Dark Souls.

No, not really.
#8 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8607 posts) -

That sounds translated, very.

#9 Posted by DillonWerner (1520 posts) -

PRAISE THE SUN

#10 Posted by The_Nubster (2359 posts) -

@TaliciaDragonsong said:

That sounds translated, very.

Yup, which is perfect. Because Dark Souls is just one big, hilarious mistranslation with a frustrating game attached.

#11 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8607 posts) -
@The_Nubster: I agree, but it will scare away potential customers who think they have just found the most japanese game ever.
#12 Posted by Willtron (243 posts) -

Anyone who isn't hyped as balls for Dark Souls on PC already probably isn't going to get the game. And any potential customers have a lot more to be scared away by than just flavour text. Most consumers are pretty savvy, especially on PC where there's often not much of a 'demo'/trying things out other than by means of piracy. If people are curious about this game, they'll go search stuff out about it instead of making decisions based solely upon the shitty descriptive text on Steam.

#13 Posted by eroticfishcake (7792 posts) -

It's very clearly a machine translated blurb of the original Japanese text. As amusing as it is, it's kinda sad considering how much they care about the PC port. Bare minimums. Then again, I guess that most people that are buying it are probably veterans of the console editions so they're know what they're getting into. Having said that, Gamestop have apparently reached their pre-order limit so it looks like I have to get it through Amazon or something.

#14 Posted by TruthTellah (9478 posts) -

@mrcool11: hahahaa... That's a hilarious description. It oddly fits. Quickly, the game will show them that they don't know -anything- about what it really is. As it should be.

#15 Posted by Eviternal (197 posts) -

I have to admit this made me laugh:

"...you will have to face...the first dead, Nit"

(For those who haven't played the game, the character they meant is Gravelord Nito. He doesn't sound so fearsome anymore.)

It's obviously just a case of the message getting lost in translation; I hope this doesn't put people off who would otherwise play it.

#16 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3116 posts) -

Someone had an aneurysm while writing that description and bashed their head wildly against the keyboard to produce that garbage. It's really the only acceptable explanation, and even then I would have ridiculed the bastard in his hospital bed afterwards and had someone else fix it.

#17 Posted by OneManX (1693 posts) -

@DillonWerner said:

PRAISE THE SUN

#18 Posted by McGhee (6075 posts) -

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . . . .

#19 Posted by TheHT (11802 posts) -

@Turambar said:

@mtcantor said:

So it makes as much sense as the game's official documentation?

@Phatmac said:

This represents the games shitty use of words so perhaps its intentionally bad?

@Tylea002 said:

In tone, it looks perfect for a description for Dark Souls.

No, not really.

Not at all in fact. It reads like the sort of thing someone who just looked at screenshots and heard the gist of the narrative would write up.

Weird.

Online
#20 Posted by Spoonman671 (4776 posts) -
#21 Posted by OllyOxenFree (4988 posts) -

That's real freakin' Nito.

#22 Edited by Dagbiker (6978 posts) -

@mrcool11 said:

"Make social connections, win games, find eggs and solve riddles—and increase your soul energy until you get your entire spiritual essence back. The gauge at the bottom of your dashboard numerically measures the amount of soul energy you have earned. Check your gauge each day to keep track of how much soul energy you have. Do your best to get your numbers high enough so you can say once and for all: Be gone, evil forces, my soul is mine and I am alive!"

So? Dark Souls is a Facebook Game?

Also... I just feel like Jeff should be reading this.

#23 Posted by YI_Orange (1172 posts) -

I can't take this...

#24 Posted by Yummylee (22574 posts) -

#GrosslyIncandescent

#25 Posted by Irvandus (2890 posts) -

Don't know, seems to fit in well with everything.

#26 Posted by RenMcKormack (1074 posts) -

USE KEYS TO OPEN DOORS

#27 Posted by fishmicmuffin (1044 posts) -

Reminds me of that Walmart description of Diablo 3 before it came out. They'll probably fix it in due time.

#28 Posted by BabyChooChoo (4825 posts) -

I'll live.

#29 Posted by SirPsychoSexy (1331 posts) -

This thread just makes me want to go back and play it again, what an awesome fucking game.

#30 Posted by jozzy (2035 posts) -

I bought it again for the pc, can't wait to play it again hopefully with better framerate/

#31 Posted by Demoskinos (15163 posts) -

JOLLY COOPERATION!

#32 Posted by IAmNotBatman (656 posts) -

Not sure if it would look good from a marketing standpoint to straight out the gate say that it's the kind of game where hours of hard-work can be undone in under 60 seconds with it being completely their fault.

#33 Posted by Ghostiet (5330 posts) -
@OllyOxenFree said:
That's real freakin' Nito.

Mag-fuckin'-nito, in the words of the poet Yipes.

Oh, I just had an idea, let's get Yipes to play Dark Souls.

#34 Posted by dudeglove (8299 posts) -

...find eggs?

#35 Posted by supamon (1334 posts) -

Nee hee hee hee hee hee!

#36 Posted by Terramagi (1158 posts) -

Considering the game launched with one of the character creation choices literally being a complete fucking lie I can't say anything other than "this sounds about right".

#37 Posted by Lunar_Aura (2778 posts) -

Sounds accurate to me.

#38 Posted by biggiedubs (497 posts) -

@dudeglove said:

...find eggs?

Perhaps they're talking about the Raven's eggs (to get back to the Asylum)? Or the whole maggot egg thing? I don't know.

But yeah, as the guy at the top of the page said, it sounds like a nintendownload.

#39 Posted by MikkaQ (10344 posts) -

Man that makes the game seem kinda passable. Like there would be s-links and shit.

Woe is he who heeds that description, that's for sure.

#40 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

This kind of makes me want to play Dark Souls even though I know I'll hate it.

#41 Posted by Inquisitor_Sif (60 posts) -

Well, it would bother you no more. Because I no longer able to find Dark Souls on Steam. May be it got pull off the shell and is no longer available.

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