War needs souls, to give to Vulgrim, a demon merchant. Vulgrim needs souls, because he's a pervert. Killing enemies allows War to claim souls, but what surprised me was so did breaking a chair. Or a table. Or a sofa. Or the occasional book shelf. Or fire hydrant.
Here's a brief table of things with souls that surprised me, and a theory on how they got them.
| Soul Source | Possible Reason |
|---|---|
| Fire Hydrant | Dogs leave small amounts of soul every visit, it builds up. |
| Sofa | Sweet loving, proof that every sperm is sacred. |
| Table | Spilled food |
| Chair | One cheek sneaks actually escaping soul. Builds up. |
| Book Shelf | Authors pour soul into book, book pours soul into shelf. |
| Gravestone | It's soaking in it. |
| James Brown | And he's super bad. |
Experimentation seems to show that street lights have no soul, which I will extrapolate to mean that traffic lights have no soul, from which we can conclude that I don't need to pay any attention to them anymore. Not that I did. Pffft. Traffic lights.
Darksiders is a blast to play so far, but has given me pause for thought about the metaphysical world and our place within it. The next time I'm driving around town, smacking mailboxes with a baseball bat, I'm going to stop and think about the soul that mailbox has inside. And then use that soul to buy a sweet-ass scythe.
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