Hey Zachs and Yorks, I've been playing SWERY's and Access Games's seminal classic Deadly Premonition of late, finally plunging the figurative harpoon into a white whale of mine after so many years. What's also noteworthy is that I knew next to nothing about the game going in, managing to avoid the many LPs (and the site's two Endurance Runs) and other articles written about the game so I could savor the weirdness first-hand. SWERY's D4 should be out soon (probably) and I still want to play Access's problematic Drakengard 3 before the year's out, so I wanted to ensure that I had this one out of the way before Summer ended and game releases would start showing up again.

Honestly, I just needed to get this one done so I could understand what everyone was saying about this game. I feel like I'm missing out on a big chunk of this site's history by not watching those ERs too. If anything, that's the TL;DR to take away from all this.

Talking of too long didn't read, I've been recording a list of observations -- reactions, really -- as I've been playing for the sake of doing something with them further down the road. I've decided to publish the first sixty five (like Swery65!) of these observations completely divorced from context as I sit around what I can only assume is close to halfway through the game. Maybe just think of them as a series of live tweets? Some are incredulous responses, some are questions, some focus on gameplay and GUI issues and, indeed, some are premonitions, possibly of the deadly kind. I look forward to seeing how many of those get explained or further elaborated upon as I continue to play, though I suspect it won't be nearly enough.

Probably goes without saying, but please don't post any spoilers past Chapter 10. I'll do a Part 2 post-game that will be freely open for spoilers and discussions about the ending, if people still feel like talking about this game four years after the fact. For now, keep things as ambiguous and vague as the game itself does, both for my sake and for those who have yet to play (and to those people, I'll hypocritically warn them about spoilers for the first ten chapters of the game too) and just enjoy watching someone discover this bizarre game in real-time, sorta. As for my feelings on the game as a whole, I'll expound on those in Part 2 after I'm done.

What Do You Make of All This, Zach?

1. Creepy twins. Creepier dead naked woman in a tree. Nope, this whole thing is creepy.
2. York's already an interesting guy. Is Zach real? Or is he real in the same way Agent Cooper's "Diane" was real?
3. Oh no, I get it, we're Zach. So this isn't like Baten Kaitos, I take it.
4. So do the other characters not hear him whenever he talks to Zach, or...?
5. Also did I miss half a Tarantino conversation about Tom and Jerry's dysfunctional co-dependent relationship?
6. These shadowy locals seem friendly. They're bending over backwards to help welcome me to the town.
7. Guy in a raincoat just QTE-killed me with an axe. I already don't like the guy.
8. Hey, it's Ms Watts- uh, Wyatt. And Sheriff Handlebars. Local law enforcement at its finest.
9. Chapter Prologue complete. Apparently I earned a grand for doing nothing. Puts all those $30 bonus medals I went out of my way for in perspective.
10. Does this game have to scare the shit out of me every time a cupboard has an item I can use?
11. Do people just move a few dozen yards away whenever they're talking and not on-screen? I can barely hear them. Maybe everyone has tinnitus. Explains why they can't hear York talking to Zach.
12. Met Polly Oxford, the hotel owner. Apparently it's normal to sit 20' away while eating meals, and walk around at a 75 degree angle from the floor. Old people, am I right?
13. Also, turns out I'm a coffee diviner. I can read the future in the star(buck)s.
14. $19.56 for crackers? Why that high? Why that specific?!
15. $119.34 for an earthworm. So much for the expression "dirt cheap".
16. Why does every map start super zoomed-in and then have the option to zoom in further?
17. Been checking around town, since they gave me a free police car to crash into things/people. Buncha weirdos around here so far.
18. York really likes 70s/80s movies, huh. I appreciate the attention to detail at least, though also perturbed by it somewhat.
19. Why is Christmas music playing while I race? No wait, that's just Green Day.
20. The jingle for successfully completing a sidequest sounds a lot like failure music to me. Kind of odd that I can tell the difference.
21. Gas station attendant randomly switches from stripper Tina Armstrong to grouchy Paul Phoenix.
22. The convenience store owner is a 50s greaser who only shows up in the afternoons and sounds like Dweezil Zappa.
23. He's also the daddy(-o) of the creepy twins.
24. Also his store is called the Milk Barn. I am unable to purchase milk here.
25. Lady, you better not be making me play Sokoban. The last time someone made me play Sokoban they ended up pushed into a corner. With a forklift.
26. There's greasers in the darts cafe too. The older one has a dartboard tucked into his headband.
27. Oh yeah, the darts cafe is named after SWERY65. I see hick bars named after Japanese game developers all the time. Like calling a British pub The Kings Arms.
28. I scored some "red dust" for the murdered girl's best friend. Where is Becky and what has she had?
29. Mother of victim has gone looney tunes. I guess that's to be expected, in a town where sanity is already in such short supply. Leland Palmer much?
30. Sympathetic, sensitive gay character as the Sheriff's deputy. I'm sure he won't end up dead or an offensive transvestite parody or both at some point.
31. Squirrel keys?!
32. The Sheriff has dumbbells named after Schwarzenegger and Stallone. No comment.
33. That chess puzzle at the hospital wasn't even a chess puzzle. I just had to know that a horsey isn't actually called a horsey. That was actually the extent of it.
34. The hospital's the first big spookhouse level of the game. Starting with the big guns, hey DP? Or is it that you wanted to get it out of the way?
35. Now the hospital receptionist is quizzing me about cytoplasm and nuclei. Hey, I've played Persona 4, I know the drill. Gimme your worst, I have Google open.
36. Sure am finding a lot of human bones lying around. It's probably fine to walk around town with half a human skeleton in my pocket. Is this you, Zach?
37. Every single mailbox seems to have SMG ammo in it. Has everyone subscribed to "Ammo of the Month"?
38. Why does the game always make me feel terrible for going off on my own? Emily does a really good "wounded" face. Sorry lady, I got sidequests to do.
39. Met Harry and Michael. I can only assume Gordon Freeman broke this guy's legs with a crowbar. Dude's a big fan of beat poetry though, even if all his whispering sounds like "pick up that can" to me.
40. So whenever you go down the hill too fast, you lose complete control of the car? That doesn't seem like a very good safety feature for cars to have.
41. Oh ho ho, the love interest is a terrible cook. Even in small town America I can't escape you, anime.
42. That damn sawmill went on forever. It was like a Silent Hill stage. But with more QTEs.
43. The QTE Killer sucks ass, by the way. Can't wait until I hit the right combination of buttons to unmask him, Scooby Doo style.
44. Why am I trying to push all the boxes in this tense on-rails chase scene? Just walk around them, dummy! It's for your health.
45. Was that just a sexy back reveal scene?
46. York just showed his badge to the whole town meeting.
47. Crazy rich old Combine guy just warned us all about "purple fog" in his beat poetry. This game has more in common with Persona 4 than anticipated.
48. Just met Carol, Wesley and the General. Game saved all its badasses for last, I see. Also Nick from the diner, but he seems more like an asshole.
49. Crazy old lady with the alias "The Pot Lady". Subtle. Y'see, it's a like a log and she talks to it and-
50. "This one guy used womens' skulls as urine cups. And then drank rum and cokes out of them." Thanks York.
51. Holy shit, I just found a guitar with infinite endurance. It kills everything in one hit. Why is... anything?
52. "Engine Boost is the basis of everything." Cue story about getting dysentery in the 'Nam. The General's awesome.
53. Plus he made the car faster, boosting my Crashing Into Things Per Minute rate. My CITPM is now through the roof, and also a lamppost or two.
54. "I'd like to eat a sushi with fries and ketchup on it."
55. "I've eaten fried Cicadas." No, no, keep this up George. I'll have to remember to watch these lunchtime scenes in every chapter.
56. So the gunsmith guy is the one who gives me stuff for all these trading cards I keep finding. That explains... actually, nothing. But hey, freebies.
57. Forrest Kaysen. Not only does the game remind me of the "FK" message in the coffee, but the guy walks around with a goddamn red tree. He'd be the obvious culprit if he wasn't so obvious.
58. Forrest's dalmatian ran off with all my human bones. Got them back and found a magnum with infinite ammo stashed with it. What has this dog been doing?
59. Met Diane Ames. Probably a reason why she looks like Julianne Moore. Same reason why Emily looks like Naomi Watts. Which is "fuck likeness rights".
60. "I'd describe Emily's cooking as Amazon-like." (What?)
61. "I am here for Mr Stewart's lunch. Thank you a bunch." Hey Mr Stewart.
62. Turkey, strawberry jam and cereal. "Sinner's sandwich?" Only if your sin is that you're a hungover college student who can't face going to the grocery store.
63. Oh no, everyone's faces after York changes his lunch order. This is too much.
64. The A&G in the A&G Diner's name stands for "apple and gravy". Not names, just those particular foodstuffs. Behind every mystery there's more mystery.
65. "So he left you to hold up the fort." Hold up the fort? Is he an army of Mexican soldiers?

Conclusion

I don't get this game. I want to keep playing though. So much. (There's a Part Two where I do exactly that.)

Just One More Thing...

Almost forgot the most important part. This was copied verbatim from a poster in the hospital:

Yes!Your Doctor Told Us

...That you aer to be our patie-

t.Accept our enthusiastic

congratulations and well wish

on your coming cvent... and be

assured that we have a very

personal interest in your case

and have already taken steps to

see to ti that your stay in the

Palo Alto Hospital

will be pay us a

social visit before

you enter?We want

to mennt and gree

you.For yours!

Man do I wish the PC-version worked at all. I would be all over peeping through people's windows.

I still cannot wait to see your reaction to the end, Mento.

Two things you should watch after you finish the game are: 1. G4's episode of Feedback where Sessler, Klepek and the rest of the crew geek out about the game. 2. Swery 65's GDC talk about designing the game.