The Something Awful Review.

#1 Posted by Wes899 (2109 posts) -
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/deadly-premonition-review.php  
 
"  Before I explain what makes this game so amazing, I feel obligated to share a few minor facts about "Deadly Premonition":
  • The graphics are terrible.
  • The character models are terrible.
  • The animations are terrible.
  • The weapons are terrible.
  • The combat and controls are terrible.
  • The sound effects are terrible.
  • The map and guidance system is terrible.
  • The music is terrible.

For some ridiculous, unknown reason, a large group of so-called "professional game journalists" have decided that this list of inconsequential trivialities somehow makes "Deadly Premonitions" a terrible game. IGN describes it as "awful in nearly every way" and dumps it with a 2 / 10 score. Cheat Code Central, the website located in the middle of Cheat Code City, states "Deadly Premonition is not a good game" and slaps a 2.5 / 10 score onto it. Gamespot, a spot composed entirely of games, despised it so much that they refused to review it, and instead offered their entire synopsis in the following sentence:

"Deadly Premonition - X360 - Adventure - Ignition Entertainment" " 
 
Enjoy. It's pretty good.
#2 Posted by Drebin_893 (2911 posts) -

Urm.... What?

#3 Posted by Grilledcheez (3947 posts) -
@Drebin_893 said:
" Urm.... What? "
#4 Posted by Wes899 (2109 posts) -

They posted their highly anticipated review. Whats not to get?

#5 Posted by MysteriousBob (6272 posts) -
@GrilledCheez01 said:
" @Drebin_893 said:
" Urm.... What? "
"
Thats the start of the review. Click the link.
#6 Posted by Wes899 (2109 posts) -
@MysteriousBob said:
" @GrilledCheez01 said:
" @Drebin_893 said:
" Urm.... What? "
"
Thats the start of the review. Click the link. "
Oh. I thought it would be understood as that. My bad.
#7 Posted by Mads76 (23 posts) -
I'm loving this game already for it's twisted awfulness and Twin Peak esq. story. Simply this is a must have to my collection! And that ain't no April Fools joke!
#8 Posted by Yummylee (21545 posts) -

I just wish it was somehow playable over in the UK! >8( 
#9 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -
#10 Posted by Wes899 (2109 posts) -
@EvilTwin: Four whole pages?! My god. I only read things that are 100 words or less.
#11 Posted by Dolphin_Butter (1915 posts) -

Their review was accurate. Everything about it sucks, but there's an intangible quality to it that requires playing to understand.

#12 Posted by Cynic04 (124 posts) -

It sounds like this is ripe for a quick look.

#13 Posted by Cirdain (3078 posts) -

ER

#14 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -
@Wes899 said:
" @EvilTwin: Four whole pages?! My god. I only read things that are 100 words or less. "
The point is that it isn't concise.  There's nothing (important) for him or her to say in 4 pages that couldn't be said in half as many.  After skimming the first couple of pages, all I see is the reviewer calling out other reviews (great way to start a review by the way) and a summary of what happens in the first hour (?) of the game.  *yawn*
#15 Posted by VoodooTerror (607 posts) -

destructoid scored it higher then ff13 
 
it made me chuckle

#16 Posted by BRINKTheMovieMyFavoriteMovie (147 posts) -
@EvilTwin said:
" @Wes899 said:
" @EvilTwin: Four whole pages?! My god. I only read things that are 100 words or less. "
The point is that it isn't concise.  There's nothing (important) for him or her to say in 4 pages that couldn't be said in half as many.  After skimming the first couple of pages, all I see is the reviewer calling out other reviews (great way to start a review by the way) and a summary of what happens in the first hour (?) of the game.  *yawn* "
Pretty sure you have no idea what you're talking about there dude.
#17 Posted by MrGtD (465 posts) -

If you think this is a true review, well, you've never been to Something Awful.

#18 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
@VoodooTerror said:
" destructoid scored it higher then ff13  it made me chuckle "
They reviewed it higher then basically every game they have reviewed...so I don't see the point of your post rather then to bash FF13.
#19 Posted by VoodooTerror (607 posts) -
@CL60 said:
" @VoodooTerror said:
" destructoid scored it higher then ff13  it made me chuckle "
They reviewed it higher then basically every game they have reviewed...so I don't see the point of your post rather then to bash FF13. "
well, ff13 does suck something awful 
#20 Posted by Jambones (1696 posts) -
@VoodooTerror said:
" @CL60 said:
" @VoodooTerror said:
" destructoid scored it higher then ff13  it made me chuckle "
They reviewed it higher then basically every game they have reviewed...so I don't see the point of your post rather then to bash FF13. "
well, ff13 does suck something awful  "
Ba-Dum, Tish!
#21 Edited by Ghostiet (5250 posts) -

I had a quality time reading this topic. Good job, Opening Poster!


 Me and this man share something - we both approve.

Online
#22 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
@VoodooTerror said:
" @CL60 said:
" @VoodooTerror said:
" destructoid scored it higher then ff13  it made me chuckle "
They reviewed it higher then basically every game they have reviewed...so I don't see the point of your post rather then to bash FF13. "
well, ff13 does suck something awful  "
No it really doesn't, I love it. And think it's great.
 
But wait. I guess your opinion is the only one that matters.
#23 Posted by VoodooTerror (607 posts) -
@CL60 said:
" @VoodooTerror said:
" @CL60 said:
" @VoodooTerror said:
" destructoid scored it higher then ff13  it made me chuckle "
They reviewed it higher then basically every game they have reviewed...so I don't see the point of your post rather then to bash FF13. "
well, ff13 does suck something awful  "
No it really doesn't, I love it. And think it's great.  But wait. I guess your opinion is the only one that matters. "
some people do like it, and good for them =]
but i guess it matters more to me then yours does, seeing as your just a random person on the net 
but im not gonna belittle your opinion if thats what you're implying
#24 Edited by evanbrau (1162 posts) -
@MrGtD: 
You mean something awful the premier internet games review site who's review of Bioshock sets a new standard in the amazing new field of journalism recording the growing respect and acceptance of the amazing new art form I choose to call "vid-cons" (some of the you lesser people may know them as video games) brought to us mainly from the glorious island nation of Nippon (Japan to you dullard gaijin).

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