Link: http://www.walmart.com/ip/Diablo-III-PC-Mac-PC/19237343

And a copy paste for those at work or something.

The Diablo III PC/Mac Game revolves around an interesting plot which will keep you spell bound. while you are playing. This Strategy Video Game also has some similar setting as the Diablo II like Tristram. The Witch Doctor is a new character in this game, is reminiscent of the Diablo II Necromancer, The Barbarians in this strategy video game have a variety of revamped skills at their disposal on the basis of the use of their incredible physical prowess. Bring home the PC video game to solve the mysteries of the mighty Barbarians.

I can't wait to solve the mysteries of the mighty barbarian.

I don't even know how that could happen and how it's stayed like that the entire day.

Is the mystery of the mighty Barbarians a mystery fit for the E3 Mysteries team?

I'm guessing that this poorly formatted description is a bunch of shit, right? I've never played a Diablo game, and was surprised to hear that Diablo in the title refers to an actual character in the game (that just seems so direct), so to me, anything's game.

It's not just poorly formatted, its insanity. Strategy Video Game? Interesting plot to keep you spell bound? Half of it is like a preview of the witch doctor, which was the first new class the released, like 3 years ago.

THE MYSTERY OF THE BARBARIAN MUST BE SOLVED! IN A STRATEGY VIDEO GAME FORMAT!

I kind of expected that to end in "and it's got SICK dragons too!"
 
Really seems like it was written by an excited school boy. I honestly kinda love it for that.

Holy hell. Just wow...

"This Strategy Video Game also has some similar setting as the Diablo II like Tristram."

Count me in.

This is video game to make click at. Do to play, but no children it violence.

Wow..

That is pretty great.

MY MIND IS FUCK

@PlasmaBeam44 said:

I don't even know how that could happen and how it's stayed like that the entire day.

It should stay like that forever.

Never change.

Barbarians are well known for their mysteries, plots, and deductive reasoning through smashing things. Fuck you Sherlock Holmes!

The last sentence is just so awesome.

I like how they made "while you are playing" its own sentence instead of putting it on the last line like it should have been.

This product description Made in China

It sounds like Japanese game text translated into English circa 1994 or so.

@Demoskinos said:

I like how they made "while you are playing" its own sentence instead of putting it on the last line like it should have been.

I like that they added that sentence at all. It's completely unnecessary and goes without saying. Unless the writer feared people would think he meant the game is so good you would be spellbound while not even playing it.

@ImmortalSaiyan: Hahaha. True enough.

I'd like to think it was Bring Your Child To Work Day at the office and someone let their 4 year old write the description based on a 3 year old game preview.

This summer be on the lookout for Adam Sessler in Mystery of the Mighty Barbarians.

OMG LOL that's hilarious. It's like they put their original text through Translation Party and posted the result. Who do they have writing these things, some 14 year old kid?

Actually, that might be what they did. Suddenly it makes sense...

I am still fascinated by the "Mystery of the Barbarians" part. What the heck is mysterious about the Diablo II barbs?

Hilarious.

E3 Mysteries!! Someone get Adam Sessler!

Sounds like it was an advertisment auto generated by a computer or someone who has never played a game in their life.

I'm sold!

What you are telling me is that Jeff needs to make a podcast based on reading Wal-Mart video game descriptions?

Haha wow someone didn't feel like doing their job right.

LOL, either that's translated or written by someone extremely funny.

If you haven't noticed Walmart descriptions are always great. For example:

Halo games have shaped entertainment history and defined a decade of gaming. Halo 4 (Xbox 360) is the next blockbuster installment in the iconic Halo games franchise. It is the seventh installment of this action packed adventure game. Get set for the action paced new series and experience the thrill of Halo gaming with this all-new video game. Catch up with Master Chief in this Halo 4 first person shooter game where the plot is sure to kindle your excitement. Halo 4 marks the start of a new trilogy named the "Reclaimer Trilogy" that begins with its release in 2012.

God, I hope no one at Blizzard signed off on that LOL.

@ThineOarlock: rofl

@Video_Game_King: diablo games are badass i strongly recommend you play the older ones i thinks diablo 2 digital is like only 3 bucks on the blizzard site

@Seedofpower said:

What you are telling me is that Jeff needs to make a podcast based on reading Wal-Mart video game descriptions?

YES! YES! YESS!

Ya. Item descriptions online can be so weird sometimes. It's seriously like they don't think anyone even reads those.

I haven't even played the game yet but I know that description is ridiculous.

@DragonBloodthirsty said:

OMG LOL that's hilarious. It's like they put their original text through Translation Party and posted the result. Who do they have writing these things, some 14 year old kid?

Actually, that might be what they did. Suddenly it makes sense...

I am still fascinated by the "Mystery of the Barbarians" part. What the heck is mysterious about the Diablo II barbs?

How long have I not known of this wonderful tool!?

I can't wait to experience that spellbinding plot. while I am playing.

Was kinda on the fence about this game, but they've definitely sold it on me...

@Excast said:

It sounds like Japanese game text translated into English circa 1994 or so.

It's another order of magnitude past that I think. Poorly written english translated to Japanese, then translated back to english.

Oh my dear lord Jesus. Walmart is so awesome guys! Just for this I'm ready to forgive all the exploitation.

Christ. That reminds me of something you would read on the back of a Chinese bootleg DVD.

@Video_Game_King said:

I'm guessing that this poorly formatted description is a bunch of shit, right? I've never played a Diablo game, and was surprised to hear that Diablo in the title refers to an actual character in the game (that just seems so direct), so to me, anything's game.

Huh, and you call yourself a king.

Can't be an english speaker who wrote that.

@Fattony12000:

My duties lie not with the games of public knowledge; they lie with those neglected by the public.

@Video_Game_King said:

I'm guessing that this poorly formatted description is a bunch of shit, right? I've never played a Diablo game, and was surprised to hear that Diablo in the title refers to an actual character in the game (that just seems so direct), so to me, anything's game.

Diablo is basically the devil.

@gamefreak9:

That seems obvious. Also, something about cows.

@Video_Game_King: um cows? there's a secret cow level in D2... O that reminds me...(moves on to "scrubs ask vets answer" thread)