Post your Metacritic trolling user review here...

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#1 Edited by EvilNiGHTS (1093 posts) -

Having a little trouble writing mine, since I find it difficult to convey something in a natural prose when I'm deliberately trying to piss people off with every sentence. Anyway, I gave it a '10' (natch)...

This is the best Devil May Cry game since before the first game even came out! The game has great art direction that alternates between two distinct worlds with a brilliant soundtrack, and the plot has a kitschy '80s feel about it. I particularly like the design of Dante, who wears a stylish coat and has amazing hair (there's a hilarious moment where Dante tries on a white wig and notes how ridiculous it looks... so funny). And above all, the combat is great fun, with lots of combos spanning across numerous different weapon styles. The game has an extensive range of unlockable difficulty modes and good replay value. An absolute triumph and a real breakthrough for the series.
#2 Posted by WolfHazard (453 posts) -

You need to add "I should preface this review by saying I've always been a fan of the series".

#3 Edited by doobie (605 posts) -

r7dfgrtujtrd5piol9-0o4e53r786t-0c vfghpo'l;[c vp,okl;ygtc vp,[.l;c mócyt vgbik n

i just rubbed my face over the keyboard. that's about as useful and insightful as most user reviews isn't it?

#4 Posted by Klei (1768 posts) -

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

#5 Posted by MariachiMacabre (6937 posts) -

Fanboys have sad existences.

#6 Posted by Barrabas (323 posts) -

"Metacritic trolling user review" is redundant. You could have just said Metacritic user review.

#7 Posted by Video_Game_King (34603 posts) -

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Why not just buy SpeedTree?

#8 Posted by Superfriend (1457 posts) -

Don´t you have something better to do? Like, actually playing the game/any other game ever?

#9 Posted by laserbolts (5309 posts) -

Meh it's too obvious you are trolling. 4/10.

#10 Posted by Sooty (8082 posts) -

...what?

#11 Posted by Breadfan (6586 posts) -

And this is why I avoid Metacritic at all costs.

#12 Posted by squiDc00kiE (340 posts) -

@doobie said:

r7dfgrtujtrd5piol9-0o4e53r786t-0c vfghpo'l;[c vp,okl;ygtc vp,[.l;c mócyt vgbik n

i just rubbed my face over the keyboard. that's about as useful and insightful as most user reviews isn't it?

Yes. This.

I've spent many a night reading 0/10 user reviews. Always provides a good laugh. Super Meat Boy and Fez provided an especially enjoyable time.

#13 Posted by theguy (796 posts) -

sigh

#14 Edited by Ghostiet (5153 posts) -

Eh, 5/10, I got a chuckle out of the thread.

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Hi there, kettle, good thing you've graced the thread to post something useless to pot.
#15 Posted by NegativeCero (2925 posts) -

At this point you're pretty much as bad as the haters.

#16 Edited by leinad44 (500 posts) -

User reviews are the most useless things in the universe.

People give professional reviewers a ton of flak for their reviews, At least they can form a coherent argument...mostly

#17 Posted by Iodine (532 posts) -

@Video_Game_King said:

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Why not just buy SpeedTree?

Well if you already own it he clearly doesn't need to buy it twice

#18 Edited by EvilNiGHTS (1093 posts) -

@WolfHazard said:

You need to add "I should preface this review by saying I've always been a fan of the series".

Yes. I also missed out by not registering my username on there as 'dmcfan420'.

@NegativeCero said:

At this point you're pretty much as bad as the haters.

I'm not above a little complaining at the direction some franchises went in (Prince of Persia 2008 being an obvious one), but those guys are this generation's Fallout 3 haters. Utterly conceited to the point they think Ninja Theory literally pissed on a Van Gogh.

#19 Posted by Ghostiet (5153 posts) -
@Deusx
I'm pretty sure the OP is mocking the haters and the "trolling" part is about trolling the haters by having a positive opinion of the game.
#20 Edited by EvilNiGHTS (1093 posts) -

@Deusx said:

This thread is sad. Fuck you OP. The game is great. Go back to /v/. That's a good place to hate video games and write reviews about things you haven't played. /thread.

FYI I'm about five levels in. Not the best character action game I've played, but massive improvement on my last experience with Ninja Theory's work (I absolutely hated Heavenly Sword) and for better or worst it's the most interested I've been in DMC since the first one. The comments in the 'trolling' review are honestly what I think are positive attributes about the game, but I can't resist the idea of fucking with the contingent of people who are actively going back to Metacritic each day and voting down the positive reviews and upping the negative one, when critical consensus is so blatantly against them.

#21 Posted by Deusx (1879 posts) -

@Ghostiet said:

@Deusx: I'm pretty sure the OP is mocking the haters and the "trolling" part is about trolling the haters by having a positive opinion of the game.

Yes I just noticed, I'm a complete idiot. Sorry.

@EvilNiGHTS said:

@Deusx said:

This thread is sad. Fuck you OP. The game is great. Go back to /v/. That's a good place to hate video games and write reviews about things you haven't played. /thread.

FYI I'm about five levels in. Not the best character action game I've played, but massive improvement on my last experience with Ninja Theory's work (I absolutely hated Heavenly Sword) and for better or worst it's the most interested I've been in DMC since the first one. The comments in the 'trolling' review are honestly what I think are positive attributes about the game, but I can't resist the idea of fucking with the contingent of people who are actively going back to Metacritic each day and voting down the positive reviews and upping the negative one, when critical consensus is so blatantly against them.

I misunderstood your goal with this. Sorry for acting like a douche. You're a cool duder.

#22 Posted by EvilNiGHTS (1093 posts) -

@Deusx said:

I misunderstood your goal with this. Sorry for acting like a douche. You're a cool duder.

No problem. I'll admit there's a sort of pettiness to it, it's just the right sort of petty, if you get my meaning.

#23 Posted by buft (3298 posts) -

wait, are the troll reviews on metacritic becoming meta now?

#24 Posted by yoshimitz707 (2446 posts) -

It's not very good trolling since most of your points pretty accurate.

#25 Posted by Sweep (8541 posts) -

@Klei said:

I think you should do something constructive instead, like planting a tree.

Heh.

But yeah, we don't need a thread for this. If you want to discuss your troll tactics then do it elsewhere.

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