100+ Things You Have Learned Playing Duke Nukem Forever

#1 Posted by Legend (2658 posts) -

Thanks to DNF, we now know that beer makes you tougher, and that power armor is for pussies. What other important life lessons have you learned playing this game? :P

I'll edit this with your posts later. I'll start:

1. When you're on steroids, a single punch is enough to make your enemy explode into a bloody mess.

#2 Posted by Ghostiet (5242 posts) -

2. 12 years is way too long to make a game.

#3 Posted by briangodsoe (487 posts) -

3. When you're underwater and drowning you can suck on bubbles for air.  
 
4. RC Cars can be driven independently from the remote controls if you are small enough 

#4 Posted by valrog (3671 posts) -

5. When you're shrunk bullets still affect you the same as before.

#5 Edited by Bigvic785 (120 posts) -

6. Power Armor is for Pussies

#6 Posted by Red12b (9084 posts) -

These types of games were discontinued for a reason
#7 Edited by celegorm_menegroth (63 posts) -

8. 12years, worldwide celebrity and all the babes in the world eager to head to the penthouse ... and none of them ever thought to bring him that god damn pack of bubblegum.

#8 Posted by AV_Gamer (606 posts) -

Women can bring themselves to orgasm using a glass door.

#9 Edited by Chris2KLee (2332 posts) -

Good framerate is for pussies.

#10 Posted by PhatSeeJay (3322 posts) -

The monster truck is a piss poor, gas gulping, mean of transportation.

#11 Posted by theoldhouse (439 posts) -

12.How to swallow my own puke then puke again.

#12 Edited by Skald (4367 posts) -

13. Someone still thinks Leeroy Jenkins references are clever and funny.

14. Broussard steals ideas from other, better games and makes fun of them.

15. Don't bother playing multiplayer, it's a waste of time.

#13 Posted by Raineko (433 posts) -

16. You've got balls of steel.

#14 Posted by evilrazer (481 posts) -

17. He has balls of fail.

#15 Posted by coakroach (2490 posts) -

Our god is a vengeful god.

#16 Posted by lusence (345 posts) -

beer makes you tougher.
 
women dont like to have there tits slapped. 
 
playing with poop is fun.

#17 Posted by JakeTaylor (309 posts) -

22: They're stealing all our babes.

#18 Posted by stoydell (58 posts) -

23. Don't bet on Duke. EVER.
24. Duke Nukem is out of bubblegum AND ass to kick.

#19 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

25. Respecting women is for pussies.

#20 Posted by Barrock (3525 posts) -

Buttholes like it when you say "Coochie Coochie..."

#21 Posted by Yanngc33 (4496 posts) -

Water levels are back (or are they?)

#22 Posted by lusence (345 posts) -
@Afroman269 said:

25. Respecting women is for pussies.

NO you always gotta respect the woman. otherwise?
#23 Posted by Liber (648 posts) -

Duke Nukem Forever made me less intelligent.

#24 Edited by YukoAsho (2014 posts) -

26. Taking poo from the toilet doesn't decrease ego, even though they really wanted it to.
27. Boobs grow off walls in alien worlds.
28. Taking steroids isn't healthy and messes up your regenerating health.
29. The Companion Barrel unlocks cake made of weapons.

#25 Posted by Bucketdeth (8005 posts) -

30. Boss fights that arn't cheap as hell are for pussies.

#26 Posted by BombKareshi (996 posts) -

31. My uncle was an asshole.

#27 Posted by BestUsernameEver (4825 posts) -

32. Creating humor in a vacuum will never work. 
33. Legacy sells.

#28 Posted by harvey_the_pooka (271 posts) -

Alien doors always look like assholes 

#29 Posted by MikeydCT (563 posts) -

34. learned things I could do while the game loads for the 360 version like make a sandwich or play a game on the pc.

Online
#30 Posted by CaptainCody (1505 posts) -

35. Tampons are for pussies.
#31 Posted by matrix_hiei (143 posts) -

36. Rape is hilarious

#32 Edited by GoofyGoober (937 posts) -

37. Don't buy this game.

#33 Posted by Lunar_Aura (2779 posts) -

38. Forklifts can skewer deadly armed aliens at 5mph

#34 Posted by SgtGrumbles (1024 posts) -

39. Good things don't come to those who wait.

#35 Posted by GoofyGoober (937 posts) -

40..Babes really shouldn't be said in the year 2011.

#36 Edited by Harbinger_Of_Hippos (224 posts) -

41. Twelve years isn't enough to make a good Duke Nukem game.

#37 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

42. Whenever you see a glory hole, stick it in there and don't look back.

#38 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

43. There's only one way to stop the Cycloid Emperor: a cock block.

#39 Posted by nintendoeats (5975 posts) -

44. Regenerating health and two weapon limits don't make every game better.

#40 Posted by Flaboere (344 posts) -

45. Quick Time Events are a great way to make opening doors fun!

#41 Posted by Gabriel (4058 posts) -

46. All the weapons besides the Shotgun suck Balls...of Fail.

#42 Posted by JasonLeeson (201 posts) -

47. Nothing remotely interesting happens in strip clubs...of fail.

#43 Posted by SpikedDeception (7 posts) -

48. Aliens, apparently, enjoy a good burger before they try to kill everyone.

#44 Edited by Sticky_Pennies (2019 posts) -

49. This game is not at all like Duke Nukem 3D, in the fact that 3D was good.

50. I'm glad demos exist.

#45 Posted by timmell (6 posts) -
@lusence said:
beer makes you tougher.  women dont like to have there tits slapped.   playing with poop is fun.
playing with poop is fun, check out this song.  
 
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/playing-with-poop/id211197978?i=211198000
#46 Posted by Cheesebob (1235 posts) -

51. I hate valve puzzles

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.