Duke Nukem in one minute. (video)

Posted by TurboMan (7339 posts) -

Just testing out ideas and seeing what sticks... I could have tried a couple of more times at recording the VO, since my ass is hard to understand at some points in the video... so here's a transcript:

Duke Nukem Forever starts out with you drawing cocks and smearing shit all over the wall. Soon enough, you'll play an updated boss fight from Duke Nukem 3D, only to find out that you're just playing a video game inside of a video game. The alien race decides that they haven't had their asses handed over to them enough yet, so they'll give it another go at taking over the world. From here, we get a smattering of old pop culture references so irrelevant today that you might have missed out on them the first time you saw them. Did you catch that Christian Bale reference that was three years too late? Duke is told not to engage with the alien race, but shit gets personal when they start "Taking all of his babes". The game becomes really repetitive and stretched out for about eight hours until we come to the final boss battle. And guess what, it's the same exact boss you fought at the beginning of the game. I'd like to think of it as a really poetic way of saying that you wasted 14 hours of your life playing this game, the same way metacritic poetically told the developers that they wasted 14 years of their life making the game.

#1 Posted by TurboMan (7339 posts) -

Just testing out ideas and seeing what sticks... I could have tried a couple of more times at recording the VO, since my ass is hard to understand at some points in the video... so here's a transcript:

Duke Nukem Forever starts out with you drawing cocks and smearing shit all over the wall. Soon enough, you'll play an updated boss fight from Duke Nukem 3D, only to find out that you're just playing a video game inside of a video game. The alien race decides that they haven't had their asses handed over to them enough yet, so they'll give it another go at taking over the world. From here, we get a smattering of old pop culture references so irrelevant today that you might have missed out on them the first time you saw them. Did you catch that Christian Bale reference that was three years too late? Duke is told not to engage with the alien race, but shit gets personal when they start "Taking all of his babes". The game becomes really repetitive and stretched out for about eight hours until we come to the final boss battle. And guess what, it's the same exact boss you fought at the beginning of the game. I'd like to think of it as a really poetic way of saying that you wasted 14 hours of your life playing this game, the same way metacritic poetically told the developers that they wasted 14 years of their life making the game.

#2 Posted by TMThomsen (2070 posts) -

Great job as always!

I know this would require a lot more recording and editing, but have you considered not doing a VO and let the video speak for itself? It's probably hard to pull off, but I think the result could be great. Much like the "Random Movie in 5 seconds" videos on YouTube.

#3 Posted by SMTDante89 (2540 posts) -

Awesome. Loved it.

Online
#4 Posted by ssj4raditz (1125 posts) -

A fine job, good sir!

#5 Posted by Kyreo (4600 posts) -

Concise and effective.

#6 Posted by Starfishhunter9 (369 posts) -

I usually hate spoilers, but thanks for saving me the hassle of playing this Turdffiti of a game.

#7 Posted by LaszloKovacs (1139 posts) -

Both funny and painfully accurate.

#8 Posted by Redbullet685 (6017 posts) -

Hilarious! Great job.

#9 Posted by FritzDude (2249 posts) -

Amazing!

#10 Posted by HatKing (5765 posts) -

Very good work. 

#11 Posted by Bigheart711 (1252 posts) -

Good work! Worth spoiling the ending BTW. The game definitely sucks balls of fail.

#12 Posted by DillonWerner (1522 posts) -

Good job, this furthermore reinforces why I did not buy this game.

#13 Posted by Jayzz (591 posts) -

Awesome.

#14 Posted by Hockeymask27 (3683 posts) -

That was very well done.  It was very Orrvelant.

#15 Posted by supermike6 (3530 posts) -

That's awesome, good job.

#16 Posted by SSully (4117 posts) -

Great job. The only complaint I have is you kind of pause at the end when doing the 14 years line. Besides that I enjoyed it. I still cant help but want to play this game. I know I will buy it when it goes down in price, its just something I have to do.

#17 Posted by TurboMan (7339 posts) -

@SSully: that was my epic pause news reporter moment... I actually had control of that pause, maybe held it a little too long :)

@Hockeymask27 said:

That was very well done. It was very Orrvelant.

You bastard.

#18 Posted by RelentlessKnight (963 posts) -

isn't this a tribute to that "in 60 seconds feature?
 
  

#19 Posted by Philzpilz (225 posts) -

Nailed it!

#20 Posted by Clubvodka (410 posts) -

Hot damn, well done, Sir, that was funny

#21 Posted by onarum (1989 posts) -

I liked it, also I can understand you just fine, and english is not primary language even.

#22 Posted by RiotBananas (3600 posts) -

Please stop using that same fucking image.

#23 Posted by ImperiousRix (2963 posts) -

Awesome.  Got your point across and summarized the game in one minute. 
Impressive sir.

#24 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7039 posts) -

Seriously? The last boss is the same as the first? My god that's pathetic.

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#25 Posted by Daiphyer (1301 posts) -
@MariachiMacabre: The LAST boss is the FIRST boss!! Get it? Get it?
#26 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

Yes.

#27 Posted by TurboMan (7339 posts) -

@RelentlessKnight said:

isn't this a tribute to that "in 60 seconds feature?

i've honestly never seen this before

#28 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

that was pretty good

#29 Posted by Brackynews (4037 posts) -

@RelentlessKnight: YES! It lives on. I have one planned as well.

#30 Posted by Gamer_152 (14049 posts) -

Thanks TurboMan, you saved me £40.

Moderator
#31 Posted by Getz (2986 posts) -

you just saved me 40 dollars I think

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