Just testing out ideas and seeing what sticks... I could have tried a couple of more times at recording the VO, since my ass is hard to understand at some points in the video... so here's a transcript:

Duke Nukem Forever starts out with you drawing cocks and smearing shit all over the wall. Soon enough, you'll play an updated boss fight from Duke Nukem 3D, only to find out that you're just playing a video game inside of a video game. The alien race decides that they haven't had their asses handed over to them enough yet, so they'll give it another go at taking over the world. From here, we get a smattering of old pop culture references so irrelevant today that you might have missed out on them the first time you saw them. Did you catch that Christian Bale reference that was three years too late? Duke is told not to engage with the alien race, but shit gets personal when they start "Taking all of his babes". The game becomes really repetitive and stretched out for about eight hours until we come to the final boss battle. And guess what, it's the same exact boss you fought at the beginning of the game. I'd like to think of it as a really poetic way of saying that you wasted 14 hours of your life playing this game, the same way metacritic poetically told the developers that they wasted 14 years of their life making the game.

Just testing out ideas and seeing what sticks... I could have tried a couple of more times at recording the VO, since my ass is hard to understand at some points in the video... so here's a transcript:

Duke Nukem Forever starts out with you drawing cocks and smearing shit all over the wall. Soon enough, you'll play an updated boss fight from Duke Nukem 3D, only to find out that you're just playing a video game inside of a video game. The alien race decides that they haven't had their asses handed over to them enough yet, so they'll give it another go at taking over the world. From here, we get a smattering of old pop culture references so irrelevant today that you might have missed out on them the first time you saw them. Did you catch that Christian Bale reference that was three years too late? Duke is told not to engage with the alien race, but shit gets personal when they start "Taking all of his babes". The game becomes really repetitive and stretched out for about eight hours until we come to the final boss battle. And guess what, it's the same exact boss you fought at the beginning of the game. I'd like to think of it as a really poetic way of saying that you wasted 14 hours of your life playing this game, the same way metacritic poetically told the developers that they wasted 14 years of their life making the game.

Great job as always!

I know this would require a lot more recording and editing, but have you considered not doing a VO and let the video speak for itself? It's probably hard to pull off, but I think the result could be great. Much like the "Random Movie in 5 seconds" videos on YouTube.

Awesome. Loved it.

A fine job, good sir!

Concise and effective.

I usually hate spoilers, but thanks for saving me the hassle of playing this Turdffiti of a game.

Both funny and painfully accurate.

Hilarious! Great job.

Amazing!

Very good work. 

Good work! Worth spoiling the ending BTW. The game definitely sucks balls of fail.

Good job, this furthermore reinforces why I did not buy this game.

Awesome.

That was very well done.  It was very Orrvelant.

That's awesome, good job.

Great job. The only complaint I have is you kind of pause at the end when doing the 14 years line. Besides that I enjoyed it. I still cant help but want to play this game. I know I will buy it when it goes down in price, its just something I have to do.

@SSully: that was my epic pause news reporter moment... I actually had control of that pause, maybe held it a little too long :)

@Hockeymask27 said:

That was very well done. It was very Orrvelant.

You bastard.

isn't this a tribute to that "in 60 seconds feature?
 
  

Nailed it!

Hot damn, well done, Sir, that was funny

I liked it, also I can understand you just fine, and english is not primary language even.

Awesome.  Got your point across and summarized the game in one minute. 
Impressive sir.

Seriously? The last boss is the same as the first? My god that's pathetic.

Yes.

@RelentlessKnight said:

isn't this a tribute to that "in 60 seconds feature?

i've honestly never seen this before

that was pretty good

@RelentlessKnight: YES! It lives on. I have one planned as well.

Thanks TurboMan, you saved me £40.

you just saved me 40 dollars I think