I Played Duke Nukem Forever--Was It All A Dream?

Posted by Jeff (3577 posts) -

 At one point, before we were all born, Duke Nukem Forever looked somethng like this.
Rumors about upcoming video games are always weird to deal with. Even when you hear something and know it to be true, you usually don't know enough of the how's and why's to piece it all together. The Duke Nukem Forever/Gearbox rumors went around for a bit, and earlier this week we had them all but confirmed to us via a series of winks, nods, and knowing glances. But even once I knew that Gearbox was really going to be announcing a Duke Nukem game at PAX, I had no context... and in a tale as long and convoluted as Duke's, context is everything.

We'll look to get that context later on during an interview or two here at the Penny Arcade Expo. But in the meantime, Duke Nukem Forever is a video game, and it's being shown here in playable form via a two-level demo that sets its tone right out of the gate by putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss." Duke's not one to disappoint, so it looks like he'll go for as long as you hold down the trigger. The rest of the bathroom is also a good throwback to the interactivity of Duke Nukem 3D: the soap pump works, the sinks all function, and the mirrors are totally functional... except for the part where they're all horribly cracked.

I can't think of a good enough joke involving Duke and "head" right now, but you get the idea.
This first sequence quickly turns into an updated re-creation of the boss fight at the end of Episode 3 in Duke 3D. After running around some tunnels and locker rooms (where you'll be able to draw on a dry erase board using the left analog stick), you'll head to a football field and fight a large Cycloid boss. He's not especially tough, but it's meant to be a prologue. After kicking the beast's tongue through the uprights, the scene pulls out, revealing that the prologue takes place on a TV in Duke's mansion, and he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies. Classy.

From there, the demo transitions to something labelled "level 15." It opens with a driving sequence, putting Duke behind the wheel of a monster truck. If you spent any time digging through the different leaks that sprung out in the wake of the game's previous "death," you've probably seen some of this section already. After the truck runs out of gas, Duke hops out and continues on foot. This sequence appears to have been put in to let players try out a variety of weapons, including a rail gun--which seems great for shooting pig cops in their pig cop faces--and the shrink ray, which works as advertised, allowing you to stomp out tiny enemies after you blast them. The classic Duke shotgun also makes an appearance. The shooting is handled console style, with the left trigger used to aim down the sights of the gun and the right to shoot. Though the demo stations were set up with 360 controllers, the game was actually running on PCs.

Or maybe it was all some sort of beautiful dream? The notion of Duke Nukem Forever somehow continuing to be a product that now, perhaps more than ever, looks like it's actually going to be released in stores as a product you can purchase with money is extremely hard to wrap my mind around. But that's the plan. Unless this is the world's most expensive and elaborate prank, Gearbox is working on Duke Nukem Forever right now and is looking to release it in 2011 on PC and consoles.

Always bet on Duke?
Staff
#1 Posted by Jeff (3577 posts) -

 At one point, before we were all born, Duke Nukem Forever looked somethng like this.
Rumors about upcoming video games are always weird to deal with. Even when you hear something and know it to be true, you usually don't know enough of the how's and why's to piece it all together. The Duke Nukem Forever/Gearbox rumors went around for a bit, and earlier this week we had them all but confirmed to us via a series of winks, nods, and knowing glances. But even once I knew that Gearbox was really going to be announcing a Duke Nukem game at PAX, I had no context... and in a tale as long and convoluted as Duke's, context is everything.

We'll look to get that context later on during an interview or two here at the Penny Arcade Expo. But in the meantime, Duke Nukem Forever is a video game, and it's being shown here in playable form via a two-level demo that sets its tone right out of the gate by putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss." Duke's not one to disappoint, so it looks like he'll go for as long as you hold down the trigger. The rest of the bathroom is also a good throwback to the interactivity of Duke Nukem 3D: the soap pump works, the sinks all function, and the mirrors are totally functional... except for the part where they're all horribly cracked.

I can't think of a good enough joke involving Duke and "head" right now, but you get the idea.
This first sequence quickly turns into an updated re-creation of the boss fight at the end of Episode 3 in Duke 3D. After running around some tunnels and locker rooms (where you'll be able to draw on a dry erase board using the left analog stick), you'll head to a football field and fight a large Cycloid boss. He's not especially tough, but it's meant to be a prologue. After kicking the beast's tongue through the uprights, the scene pulls out, revealing that the prologue takes place on a TV in Duke's mansion, and he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies. Classy.

From there, the demo transitions to something labelled "level 15." It opens with a driving sequence, putting Duke behind the wheel of a monster truck. If you spent any time digging through the different leaks that sprung out in the wake of the game's previous "death," you've probably seen some of this section already. After the truck runs out of gas, Duke hops out and continues on foot. This sequence appears to have been put in to let players try out a variety of weapons, including a rail gun--which seems great for shooting pig cops in their pig cop faces--and the shrink ray, which works as advertised, allowing you to stomp out tiny enemies after you blast them. The classic Duke shotgun also makes an appearance. The shooting is handled console style, with the left trigger used to aim down the sights of the gun and the right to shoot. Though the demo stations were set up with 360 controllers, the game was actually running on PCs.

Or maybe it was all some sort of beautiful dream? The notion of Duke Nukem Forever somehow continuing to be a product that now, perhaps more than ever, looks like it's actually going to be released in stores as a product you can purchase with money is extremely hard to wrap my mind around. But that's the plan. Unless this is the world's most expensive and elaborate prank, Gearbox is working on Duke Nukem Forever right now and is looking to release it in 2011 on PC and consoles.

Always bet on Duke?
Staff
#2 Edited by Church069 (250 posts) -

What  
 
edit:  I feel dirty now. 
Either way,  it seems like everyone had already accepted the fact the DNF was never coming out, so to see this, it is tough to comprehend.

#3 Edited by FunExplosions (5407 posts) -

Whoop! Here it is! 
 
Wait, do we still get to kick things in the face?

#4 Posted by Zaapp1 (658 posts) -

The first horseman of the Apocalypse...

#5 Posted by kmdrkul (3476 posts) -

It seems like at this point in the games development it's just bound to end up being either mediocre or generic.  Probably both. 

#6 Posted by JeanLuc (3583 posts) -

So is it good?

#7 Posted by Rockanomics (1150 posts) -

Now I don't know what to believe.

#8 Posted by FinalCut (94 posts) -

I'm buying this regardless of how it turns out, I've got to be able to say that I purchased Duke Nukem Forever in my lifetime.

#9 Posted by redrum_redrum (43 posts) -

Mother of God!
#10 Posted by big_jon (5726 posts) -

Awesome! Though the oral sex thing is just uncomfortable...
#11 Posted by Stonyman65 (2703 posts) -

YES!

#12 Posted by redrum_redrum (43 posts) -

i hope it drops you back into the old game just like that level in MGS4.
#13 Posted by Ravenousrattler (1417 posts) -

They sure have Balls of Steel.

#14 Posted by gbrading (2031 posts) -

I don't blame you Jeff. I'm still in total shock myself. I still don't believe it.
#15 Posted by I_love_Eva_Braun (481 posts) -

 Always bet on Duke

#16 Posted by zoozilla (978 posts) -

I don't see how DNF could live up to anyone's expectations anymore. 
 
It seems almost wrong that it's actually coming out.

#17 Posted by buzz_killington (3532 posts) -

Jeff got some!

#18 Posted by HeroicDrinkingSong (151 posts) -

Soooo....  Basically it sounds as though Duke is as 90's crude as ever, and still totally irrelevant to modern day pop culture?  Maybe?

#19 Posted by Gabriel (4061 posts) -

ALWAYS bet on Duke.

#20 Posted by Infinityslimit (121 posts) -

The world must be ending, DNF is real???

#21 Posted by louiedog (2335 posts) -

Is this confirmed for Xbox 360, PS3, and Phantom?

#22 Posted by JYoung (153 posts) -

The funny thing is that if this article was an April Fool's joke it would be written exactly the same, with pissing and oral sex and football fields. How is this actually in production?

#23 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Damn, it definitely sounds Duke-y. Looking forward to the level of detail that I'm failing to see in a lot of games in general.

#24 Posted by Jeff (3577 posts) -
@louiedog: I believe it's PC, PlayStation, Saturn, and Game Boy Color.
Staff
#25 Posted by DrRandle (1202 posts) -

I can already read the taglines. "Duke Nukem Forever finally released, but was it worth the wait?" Hurk.

#26 Posted by Baillie (4164 posts) -
@Jeff: So, did you enjoy how it played?
#27 Posted by 02sfraser (847 posts) -

I just can't imagine buying this. Not because I dislike shooters or the Duke. I love both. But this actually being a product seems just a crazy notion....

#28 Posted by Azteck (7449 posts) -

Eh. I don't get the love for this franchise. It just seems like plain shittiness. The 'humor' doesn't sound like it's clever or fun in any way. Maybe it's because I wasn't around for the original game, but I am unable to see the attraction in it.

#29 Posted by slowbird (1703 posts) -

I bet this game somehow ends up being awesome.

#30 Posted by solidlife (877 posts) -

say it aint so!

#31 Posted by Joru (311 posts) -

Wonder if it'll be any good.. the narrative sounds too 99' to me.

#32 Posted by GunnBjorn (2911 posts) -

A whole lot too late. 
Sorry, really not interested in it anymore.
#33 Posted by scarace360 (4828 posts) -

Jeff steal the demo they had and put it on the internet.

#34 Posted by Crono (2667 posts) -

#35 Posted by SomethingClever (419 posts) -

I guess we will see now if DNF is cursed.  If some crazy events take place that cause Gearbox to close their doors and they too are unable to release the game I would be willing to back the idea that DNF should never be attempted again.  I don't see that actually happening but sometimes crazy things do happen.  Just in case Gearbox guys, you might want to update your resumes.

#36 Posted by ShadowKing7 (753 posts) -

This game is going to have to be fucking amazing in order to even hope to meet the hype that has gone on that past...12 years was it?  I don't know, I didn't play any Duke Nukem as a kid, so whatever.
#37 Posted by TadThuggish (907 posts) -

" putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss."" 
" he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies."
 
What a retarded game, made to be accessible only to apologists and manchildren.  I hope you're better than this, Jeff.

#38 Posted by Seraphim84 (409 posts) -
@kmdrkul: 
The thing is though, is Duke is made through its sense of humor and throwback to the 90s.  If you're looking at this game for new mechanics and a revolutionized genre, you're asking too much of any game.  Even if it's taken a decade to make.
#39 Posted by crusader8463 (14422 posts) -

Can't wait to play this game, and all the people pissing and moaning about it can go fuck themselves. Every shooter in this day and age is exactly the same as all the other ones, the only difference is what gets wrapped around it, and the Duke-A-Verse is one hell of an interesting one to play in. 
 
The only thing I'm worried about is gearbox's involvement. After them butchering the PC version of Borderlands I have zero faith in them as a company and a development house to create a quality product. I'm hoping that we won't get a repeat with this game, because I love the Duke character and I don't want to see them ruin a game I was looking forward.

#40 Posted by steelknight2000 (447 posts) -
@Jeff: Still holding out for the PCFX version.
#41 Posted by cassus (375 posts) -

So.. I guess they're making a game for the youth of the 90s then.. The guys who are mostly married and have kids and stuff.. People with no time for games, basically. This business plan is bound to work. Easily pays for the decade+ of development time. 
 
 90% of the guys who play the Gears of War and Halo series of games have only heard of Duke from odd references on game sites. The same way the youth of the 90s know of the Greatful Dead from someone's pothead dad. It's like a urban legend at this point. 
 
I hope this thing flops in spectacular fashion. Bored with the 5 year++ development cycles. Devs spend tons of years developing a game that's on the same level or lesser than games from relatively unknown developers who spent 3 years on their game. Devs need to start making more games. Spending a hell of a long time on a game doesn't really guarantee it'll be better, so just make more games and hope for the best. Make two games in a 5 year period instead of 1, chances are one of them will sell as well as whatever one game you spent 5 years on.

#42 Posted by Shibbles (262 posts) -

I hope there's an achievement for five consecutive minutes of urination. 

#43 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

Receiving oral from two guys would have fucked some people up. Good old sexism in video games.

#44 Posted by Baillie (4164 posts) -
@TadThuggish said:
" " putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss.""  " he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies."  What a retarded game, made to be accessible only to apologists and manchildren.  I hope you're better than this, Jeff. "
I hope you know this is what Duke Nukem is famous for, right?
#45 Posted by nohthink (1223 posts) -
@Crono said:
"
"
..... Wow.....
#46 Posted by WitchHunter_Z (882 posts) -

Randy Pitchford will announce in 2011 that the game alongside George Broussard taking lead on the project, the game is upgrading to the CryEngine 3, and that although they will be scrapping 85% of the assets, the game will only take a month to 6 weeks to finish.

#47 Posted by steevl (201 posts) -
@Crono said:
"
"
Haha, good to see slash's DNF preorder making the internet rounds. This particular picture is from 2006, I believe. He said it's in even worse shape now.
#48 Posted by rav2002 (32 posts) -

Interactive pissing... Yep, thats a Duke Nukem game alright.

#49 Posted by WilliamHenry (1203 posts) -
@TadThuggish said:
" " putting you at a urinal and informing you that the right trigger will, in fact, "piss.""  " he's playing while receiving oral service from two ladies."  What a retarded game, made to be accessible only to apologists and manchildren.  I hope you're better than this, Jeff. "

You really have no idea what Duke Nukem is about do you?
#50 Posted by NickBOTT (481 posts) -

Nobody steals our chicks...and LIVES!!! I'll always have a place in my heart for Duke and am looking forward to getting it on launch day.

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