Long time No See!
Why, Why, Why, Could this have not been awesome? Its not like its too much to ask! I mean, it has been in development for
14 YEARS! This complete mess of a game is not worth any money out of your pocket. Slap your wrist in you even try to buy this game! The only reason to buy it should be that you are curious how this terrible example of the failures of several game companies turned out. The whole experiences is sloppy as hell. It all feels patched together, and cheap and gross. Thank god gearbox finished this shit? Hell no! The game play is completely crap and mediocre as all hell. The shooting feels inadequate and quite frankly, boring. The enemies are extremely repetitive and die far too easily. It feels like they spent so much time enabling you to piss at any toilet or sorta play a pinball machine, that they forgot about the core game. The quick time events are lame and feel outdated and old.
The same goes for almost all of this game...Outdated and old. The graphics feel like someone coated them with butter so you can't see the jankyness underneath it all. The load times are sinister. Every time you die, finish a level or travel in a level you will have to sit through a long load time. Because the terrible check pointing system is so choppy and random, you will have to play areas and sit through a boring cut scene or some terrible voice acting over and over again.
Now to the King, Duke himself. Oh Man, He is terrible. Not like "Evil Dead" terrible where its good either. I mean the voice actor was either a UFC announcer or a gym teacher. Duke shamelessly rips off action movie lines, which would be cool, If they were right! That's right folks he gets the quotes wrong. The character is insanely bland and boring and his one liners are kinda... Interesting...I guess. The long story is boring repetitive and old and broken at times. The humor comes off as annoying, and is something only a true duke fanboy could like. The music is old and boring, and feels terribly outdated. It feels like this game is a weird mix up from all the recent eras of shooters. This is not a good thing. Prepare to be bored out of your god damn mind if you foolishly decide to get this one. This is not recommended by any stretch of the imagination.
