The "I hate Mr. Caffeine" Thread

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#1 Posted by vidiot (2891 posts) -

I didn't think it was possible to have a single presenter annoy me this much. I'm actually quite floored by him. I'm not sure if I hate him, or if I should be impressed by his level of awfulness. It's like watching a train-wreck somehow physically manifest the ability to eat-itself. 
No, scratch that thought: I hate him.
For those watching the Ubisoft press conference is currently being hosted by some bizzarro traveling-salesman with glasses. I think he's trying to make jokes. There's a lot of dead silence from the audience. I think that last thing he said was a Charlie Sheen joke. Did he just say that Hollywood and the gaming industry were great partners? Wait, what?!
Normally I wouldn't make a big deal about this, it's a thankless job to present something like this: But holy-mother-of-god this is beyond horrible. 
I have to ask: Does anyone know who this guy is? Why is he there...Doing these things?

#2 Posted by SethPhotopoulos (5574 posts) -

I'm happy I have know idea what your talking about.

#3 Posted by Green_Incarnate (1788 posts) -

He's pretty bad.

#4 Posted by LeetBalla (731 posts) -

I think you are overreacting. He's not the best, but gets the job done.

#5 Posted by Crono11 (1652 posts) -

This thread has my full endorsement. 

#6 Posted by FreakAche (2959 posts) -

Yeah, he's pretty awful.

#7 Posted by TooWalrus (13291 posts) -

Why must we promote hate speech?

#8 Posted by Make_Me_Mad (3170 posts) -

Yeah, it's pretty bad anytime he feels the need to inflict himself upon the audience.

#9 Posted by Icemael (6793 posts) -

I wish I was at E3 so I could run up on the stage and punch him in the face.

#10 Posted by JJOR64 (19494 posts) -

It's Ubisoft.  All the presenters in the Ubisoft conferences are terrible.

#11 Posted by buzz_killington (3655 posts) -

This is worse than Joel McHale and Jamie Kennedy re-enacting the Holocaust. Fuck Mr. Caffeine.

#12 Posted by ShaneDev (1702 posts) -
I just want to let you guys know I share the tent... I mean the tension with you. This guy is an epic fail.
#13 Posted by MiniPato (2754 posts) -

I call him Indian Joel McHale.

#14 Posted by buzz_killington (3655 posts) -

I wonder if they tried to get Joel McHale again or what happened that they ended up with him.

#15 Posted by Twitchey (865 posts) -

When he made the reference to the Osama Bin Laden killing I actually laughed. That and his dick joke, it was funny too.

#16 Posted by buzz_killington (3655 posts) -

I loved how no one did the "doo doo doo loo doo loo" time-warp thing with him. What a great audience.

#17 Posted by WoodenPlatypus (1356 posts) -
@SethPhotopoulos said:
I'm happy I have know idea what your talking about.

#18 Posted by jorbear (2517 posts) -


#19 Posted by SMTDante89 (2612 posts) -

Only good things will come from this thread.

#20 Posted by Vexxan (4619 posts) -


Yes, he's very annoying.

#21 Posted by Jack268 (3387 posts) -

I think the way he's trying to seem overly dorky (Big Bang Theory-esque dorky that is) is pretty funny.

#22 Posted by Duke_Lion (260 posts) -

I think he has some awesome dick jokes.... hahaha

#23 Posted by GunslingerPanda (4933 posts) -

I wanted to tear his throat out with my teeth.

#24 Posted by mortal_sb (570 posts) -

he was pretty pretty bad.

#25 Posted by BraveToaster (12588 posts) -

I'm surprised that I didn't inflict permanent damage to my sight from all that eye rolling,

#26 Posted by MrMazz (1048 posts) -

doo doole dooo doole doo doole

#27 Posted by VoshiNova (1822 posts) -

Gonna watch the press conference tonight.

I'll be sure to drop back after I've been exposed to the madness

#28 Edited by SirPsychoSexy (1332 posts) -

The jokes aren't that good but I much rather watch him then the other robotic presenters. Haters gonna hate

#29 Posted by Beb (267 posts) -

He was less like caffeine and more like one of those anti-depressants that has a side-effect of increasing suicidal thoughts and urges.

#30 Posted by SonicFire (875 posts) -

This dude is horrible...seriously, Ubisoft...why? I already don't like you guys as it is...

#31 Posted by MachoFantastico (5361 posts) -

Like him or not, least he showed some optimism. Most of these presenters are rather dull.

#32 Posted by Codeacious (957 posts) -

Yep, he's bad.

#33 Posted by Yummylee (23099 posts) -

He's like a promo for people to stay away from coffee. Nah, actually instead he just gives anything that has caffeine a bad name. What a colossal tit.

#34 Posted by darkwingduck (175 posts) -
@Vegsen said:


Yes, he's very annoying.

what are you guys talkin about? that dude is an instant classic as far as im concerned!
#35 Posted by Keenblaze (466 posts) -

I don't think the audience liked him much either.  Everything he said was met with complete silence.

#36 Posted by RandomInternetUser (6805 posts) -

It was better than having a dead-serious executive talking about sales and stuff, but yeah, he was a bit annoying.  I think it was just that he was trying way too hard.

#37 Posted by Trace (3671 posts) -

He certain was a terrible host, but this isn't anything that needs its own thread. Instead, it can stay within the Ubisoft press conference discussion thread. That way, those that missed the conference don't need to be as confused, either.



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