The Worst of E3 2012 (video)

Posted by TurboMan (7498 posts) -

Quick Impressions - cause I know you guys are dying for my opinions

  • Microsoft - Halo 4 looks neat-o, but not ground breaking. XBLA's exclusive lineup is something to be jealous of. South Park looks incredible (third party, though). Everything else was completely boring to me. I don't want to look at my phone while playing games/movies. I don't care about CoD anymore. I don't want to see Usher performing at a video game conference. Also, 3rd party games shouldn't be on the stage. I view these press conferences as MS vs. Sony vs. Nintendo.
  • EA - Boring. Boring. Boring. Boring.
  • Ubisoft - Awful Host, great set of games to show off. Watch_Dogs looks incredible.
  • Sony - SSB PS3 looks fun. Last of Us looks incredible. Everything else seemed good. Wonderbook lasted 10 minutes too long.
  • Nintendo - Pikmin 3 looks good. 3DS lineup looks good. Everything else was awful. Dad: Chaser was the highlight.
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#1 Posted by TurboMan (7498 posts) -

Quick Impressions - cause I know you guys are dying for my opinions

  • Microsoft - Halo 4 looks neat-o, but not ground breaking. XBLA's exclusive lineup is something to be jealous of. South Park looks incredible (third party, though). Everything else was completely boring to me. I don't want to look at my phone while playing games/movies. I don't care about CoD anymore. I don't want to see Usher performing at a video game conference. Also, 3rd party games shouldn't be on the stage. I view these press conferences as MS vs. Sony vs. Nintendo.
  • EA - Boring. Boring. Boring. Boring.
  • Ubisoft - Awful Host, great set of games to show off. Watch_Dogs looks incredible.
  • Sony - SSB PS3 looks fun. Last of Us looks incredible. Everything else seemed good. Wonderbook lasted 10 minutes too long.
  • Nintendo - Pikmin 3 looks good. 3DS lineup looks good. Everything else was awful. Dad: Chaser was the highlight.
Online
#2 Posted by JasonR86 (9651 posts) -

...so what do you think girl wood actually is?

#3 Posted by Inquisitor_Sif (58 posts) -

For me, the show put up by Crytek in demonstration of Crysis 3 is purely a disaster.

#4 Posted by Jimmi (166 posts) -
#5 Posted by BadSniper52 (607 posts) -

I think this E3 is average compared to other E3's. But watch Dogs and other look awesome.

#6 Posted by JasonR86 (9651 posts) -

@Jimmi said:

@JasonR86 said:

...so what do you think girl wood actually is?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris#Sexual_stimulation

My current understanding of the clitoris is that it really isn't emblematic of an erection. You know....male-wood. Hence the 'wood' part. ....cause an erection makes the penis stiff and hard like a wood log. Thus, 'wood'. So...you know, 'girl-wood'?

#7 Posted by BaneFireLord (2918 posts) -

Whoever put together that video, the South Park narration over the BLOPS 2 bit was amazing.

#8 Posted by poheroe (154 posts) -

AGREED.

#9 Posted by ThePickle (4160 posts) -

How could you miss the worst of all, the Dave Lang replacement giving the Wreckateer demo.

But bravo on the BLOPS2/South Park mashup.

#10 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

One of the best things about E3. The worst of E3.

#11 Posted by AngelN7 (2970 posts) -

Actually for as 'boring' and predictable as this E3 was there weren't really that many awkward or dumb momemts like last year , also is there some way in wich you can get some audio when someone at EA said : UFC? Pfft-hahahaha that's not a real sport Dana get out of here!" and then cut to EA conference ... yeah.

#12 Posted by Brunchies (2484 posts) -

I love how Matt stone and trey Parker are famous enough to call out Microsoft on their own stage, that's amazing.

#13 Posted by ArbitraryWater (11587 posts) -

Wow. That was quick. I commend you sir, for once again making an awesome video.

#14 Posted by Barrock (3525 posts) -

Ladywood is just moistness.

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#15 Posted by RaidenMitsuru (202 posts) -

Amazing video!

#16 Posted by PrivateIronTFU (3874 posts) -

I don't know what girl wood is, but Aisha Tyler definitely gives me regular wood.

#17 Posted by HellBound (1066 posts) -

Epic.

#18 Posted by PillClinton (3291 posts) -

Nice, glad you did one of these again. Every E3 needs a nice montage.

#19 Posted by dudeglove (7720 posts) -

You're a goddamn hero.

#20 Posted by Jimmi (166 posts) -

@JasonR86: Read that section I linked then... The clitoris is creepily like a mini penis.

Evolution. That's a thing.

#21 Posted by S0ndor (2716 posts) -

Meh, most of these are pretty weak or otherwise unremarkable. I did like Michael Bay's commentary on Black Ops 2, though.

#22 Posted by coakroach (2490 posts) -

Oh god its all so fucking painful to watch.

What happened to the good old days where you just showed a montage of upcoming releases with some Ok Go music playing over it?

#23 Posted by DillonWerner (1526 posts) -

@dudeglove said:

You're a goddamn hero.

What the fuck did I just watch?

#24 Posted by LassieME (230 posts) -

Thank you for this, good work.

#25 Posted by BionicMonster (1032 posts) -

What about the ShootMania presentation with the Pre-recorded footage?

#26 Posted by hoossy (933 posts) -

@TurboMan:

3:24... thank you.

#27 Posted by danimal_furry (1453 posts) -

Is it bad that I try to get hyped for up coming games only to see all of E3 and be let down? I seriously would love to go to E3. But videos of E3 demos blow donkey. That is a scientific fact.

#28 Posted by Zereta (1365 posts) -

Dont understand why third party games shouldnt be on the stage. They're games too.

Microsoft spent way to much time on the entertainment apps stuff, though Smartglass did look cool. I was fine with Usher on stage. E3 is aimed, while for the gamer, also at the mainstream. And really: its a dance central game. We know what its about. So why not make the reveal as spectacular as possible?

Sony had like 6 games to show, luckily half of em impressed the hell out of me. Wonderbook is the worst thing to happen to us and filled the gap that Microsoft left by not bringing out young kids on stage.

EA: Was actually impressed by Dead Space 3, Most Wanted and Medal of Honor: Warfighter. Simcity looks fine. Crysis 3 looks like Crysis I guess. Bioware made me cry at how desperate TOR is for them.

Ubisoft: Games Games Games. AC3, BAM. Far Cry 3, BAM. Rayman Legends, BAM. And they showed the single most impressive game coming out of E3: Watch Dogs. BAM BAM. Shootmania looked alright. Just Dance 4 looked... Just Dancy. I thought Aisha Tyler was great! Though she should have punched that other guy as soon as she got the chance. And one more time: WATCH DOGS.

Nintendo: Pikmin 3 and New Super Mario Bros. U look cool I guess. But thats it. Nothing else they showed looked remotely interesting. Even Lego City Undercover, which amazed me at first, on second glance, looks quite unappealing to me. I got more excited for the 3DS coming out of the conference than I was for the Wii U, and they didn't even show their 3DS stuff that day. Wii U failed hard for me, Nintendo failed the Wii U. And they failed E3 this year.

Nintendo lost E3 on a year that everyone else left it open for them to win since last year.

#29 Posted by Hizang (8533 posts) -

That was great, god the end made me cringe.

#30 Posted by Jimbo (9796 posts) -

The Far Cry 3 co-op demo was pretty cringeworthy. I PUT HIM ON FIRE!

#31 Posted by Pootpoot (17 posts) -

Why was Trey Parker's bit considered one of the worst parts? I saw it as a bit of a relief from that horrible MS conference.

#32 Posted by Deusx (1903 posts) -

@Pootpoot said:

Why was Trey Parker's bit considered one of the worst parts? I saw it as a bit of a relief from that horrible MS conference.

This.

#33 Posted by laserbolts (5317 posts) -

That video was pretty awesome but the most uncomfortable thing I saw at e3 was the far cry multiplayer demo. That was ridiculous.

#34 Posted by Thumbrunner (131 posts) -

Excellent work Turboman.

You missed 2 things in your video, the walk through of the Wii U Controller, and the 30 min breakdown of Luigi's mansion multi-player.

I agree with your thought on not having 3rd party on 1st party stages especially when that 3rd party has a show of its own.

I still don't know what a Wii U is which is the one thing i was sure i would come away with from all of this hulla ballu. What is going on over at Nintendo...

Why are we still having bad demos controlled on stage by Leads of projects, I know there are folks that are better at that than them.

Who would have thought that Ubisoft would have won e3...

#35 Posted by Bourbon_Warrior (4523 posts) -

Aisha Tyler was the best host of all of E3, actually made me LOL at some parts.

#36 Posted by MildMolasses (3218 posts) -

I'm in agreement with the pro-Aisha Tyler crowd. I think she would have been great if they just allowed her to introduce the games and do transitions. She was just saddled with too much garbage (Toby, the Shootmania match. Flo-Rida) to carry it elegantly. I would like to see her back next year, and hope to God that Ubisoft doesn't go with every dumb idea that enters the heads of marketing and the executives. I know that's hoping for too much as they could have easily stolen the show with the line-up they had, yet still filled their hour with bullshit asides

#37 Posted by madmanmaple89 (64 posts) -

Where's that Toby Turner jerkoff? It ain't a "Worst of E3" without him.

#38 Posted by TheHumanDove (2523 posts) -

@JasonR86 said:

@Jimmi said:

@JasonR86 said:

...so what do you think girl wood actually is?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris#Sexual_stimulation

My current understanding of the clitoris is that it really isn't emblematic of an erection. You know....male-wood. Hence the 'wood' part. ....cause an erection makes the penis stiff and hard like a wood log. Thus, 'wood'. So...you know, 'girl-wood'?

A sex ed class can solve this

#39 Posted by Dagbiker (6957 posts) -

I dont Know how else you show off ShootMania, aside from having a bunch of people play it. Also I think the part where the Raymond guys get excited that they nailed it was one of the best parts, at least I felt like they felt good about their game.

#40 Posted by TurboMan (7498 posts) -

@Dagbiker: The part with Rayman wasn't about the guys being excited over it (In fact, I did love it because they showed personality in a day of self-seriousness blah blah blah). It was more of Aisha being like "What was that? Where's Call of Duty?"

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#41 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -
@BaneFireLord said:
Whoever put together that video, the South Park narration over the BLOPS 2 bit was amazing.
He's the same person who made the America Fuck Yeah video for MW3 (which is also made by Matt & Trey) so, very cool.
#42 Posted by algertman (852 posts) -

What about Halo 4 campaign demo that was 100% a bull shot.

#43 Posted by Dagbiker (6957 posts) -

@TurboMan said:

@Dagbiker: The part with Rayman wasn't about the guys being excited over it (In fact, I did love it because they showed personality in a day of self-seriousness blah blah blah). It was more of Aisha being like "What was that? Where's Call of Duty?"

I do agree with that then.

#44 Posted by 49th (2722 posts) -

Hahaha, I actually thought that explosion narration part was pretty funny. What was that from?

#45 Posted by zombie2011 (4972 posts) -

I thought Usher was good, like the GB guys said they weren't going to demo Dance Central for a 3rd time so they needed to do something different.

#46 Posted by Tennmuerti (8059 posts) -

@49th said:

Hahaha, I actually thought that explosion narration part was pretty funny. What was that from?

South Park, mocking Steven Sp. i believe, quite an old episode, but now perfectly applicable to CoD too.

#47 Posted by Anupsis (289 posts) -

@BaneFireLord said:

Whoever put together that video, the South Park narration over the BLOPS 2 bit was amazing.

I almost died during that.

#48 Posted by namesonkel (414 posts) -

Hahahah, that's great. Especially the part where Michael Bay comments the Black Ops Gameplay.

#49 Posted by wolf_blitzer85 (5253 posts) -

Dude your stuff is always fun to watch. Keep making more!

#50 Posted by BonOrbitz (2182 posts) -

Great video (especially the South Park Michael Bay bit), but you left out the co-host of the Ubisoft press conference- that guy made me cringe more than Mr. Caffeine did! Aisha Taylor is actually pretty cool and did a good job I thought.

I would have also put in the Shootmania demo from the same conference.

So what happened at the beginning of the Microsoft show when Don Mattrick said something and the crowd laughed. Did something happen off camera?

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