So I was in town helping my little brother shop ("Dude, just get Dead Space." "Is it like zombies or something?" "... Look, we go through this every time, just get Dead Space before I start cutting your fingers off." "Yeah, maybe tomorrow or something.") when, suddenly, I realised I hadn't drunk anything but half a pot of coffee throughout the entire day. Instead of doing the smart thing and going home, having a glass of water and lying the fuck down, I decided to have more energy! But I didn't just get any drink, mind you.
We went to a cheap food store, with promises of an energy drink for just 29 pence (according to a moon money converter on the internet, that's the equivalent of 40 cents), it turns out that it's covered in 24 branding.
Be your own action hero...
When the clock is ticking, revive and conquer Jack Bauer Style
You can pack a lot of action into 24 hours...
Every second counts..."
Now, at first, I was worried. Actually, the whole experience has been kind of harrowing. Could this drink successfully replicate the extreme lifestyle of Jack "Damn it!" Bauer in liquid form? Could I even handle such an intense experience?
The first thing to test was smell, and frankly, this is the first time I haven't exaggerated when I've said something smells like an odd mix between a cleaning product and some burned sugar. My and my brother have differing opinions on the colour, I think it looks like lemon-lime, whereas he opted with the phrase "neon piss". Charming, huh?
In terms of flavour, it also tastes like something I could kill germs with. No, really. I have a headache from drinking this stuff and I think my nose is bleeding as I can smell blood. Every sip of it is like a punch to the face in liquid form. I actually kinda feel like I'm gonna die any second.
So yes, I'd say it successfully replicates the intense experience of 24 which has you gripping the edge of your seat. Except I really am gripping the edge of my seat, and I can't stop tapping my feet to a rhythm in my head. At the least it was extremely cheap and I had a legitimate excuse to yell "Every second counts!" in public.
What's the best/strangest branded drink you've found? And can someone please call a doctor?
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