The Escaping a Sinking Car wiki last edited by MarkWahlberg on 11/07/13 10:28PM View full history

While harrowing as an experience, escaping from a sinking car is well within the realm of possibility. To ensure you don't die a weak man's death, take these steps:
 
1. Before you even think about crashing your car in to a lake, make sure you buy a tool that can break your car window should the need arise. Power Punches are good for this, or a spring-loaded hammer. In a pinch, you can even use these to boost someone else's car. Nifty! Obviously, if you're planning suicide you can skip this step. And all the other steps. Have fun.
 
2. If you see that you are about to drive in to a lake or bay or river or ocean, immediately assume a bracing postion. Form an X with your arms, grabbing the shoulder-end of your seatbelt with one hand and resting the other on your shoulder. In a crash, your arms may flail about and you might hit your driving buddy in the face. Or, you know, hit the wheel and break your arm or something. If it's a puddle or creek, you're probably going to live. Your dad's gonna be super-pissed though. 
 
3.Once you've hit the water, have no chance of opening a door due to the outside pressure exerted by the water. 10 meters of water is rougly one atmosphere or 14 pounds per square inch. So let's just say your door is 4x3 feet, that's like 24,000 pounds of pressure at 10 meters. Shit, you're really screwed aren't you? 
 
4. Oh right, you can roll down you window or something to equalize the pressure or whatever. No big deal. That's what the hammer's for; in case your bourgeois power windows aren't working underwater. Make sure you keep your seatbelt on or all that rushing water is gonna knock you right in to your driving buddy. If she's a lady, be classy and don't use the opportunity to cop a feel. Try expressing your feelings first, she'll either understand or you'll never ever be friends again. What have you got to lose? 
 
5. Before the car fills up entirely, take this chance to inhale deeply. Don't try that sharing oxygen bullshit from James Bond either, it doesn't work. You're just going to be sharing Carbon Dioxide, and your friend's gonna think you're a perv. Once the car's all filled up, unbuckle your seatbelt, open the door and make your way to freedom. 
 
6. Repeat

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