How do they come up with these names?!

#1 Posted by TethysOssian (31 posts) -

FFXIII sports some of the most ridiculous names for characters I have seen in a long time.  As such my friends and I have decided to come up with better names for each character which we feel better fit the attitude and look of the character:
Lightning-->"Lightning" The "main character" if there is one.  Her name was surprisingly hard to change because it just seems to fit.  So we remained calling her Lightning with the occasional "Katie Holmes" thrown in to see how it fit.  Not very well unfortunately.  If you've got a good one post it!
Sazh-->"Shaft"  Who's the black private dick/ That's a sex machine to all the chicks?/ SHAFT!/ Ya damn right!    The female chocobos want him and the male chocobos want to be him.  The afro and the guns don't hurt either. 
Snow-->"Clay"  This just popped into my head when I first saw him.  Also how can snow play the tank role?  It's so easy to crush and melt and bend to your will.  Clay, on the otherhand, can take a pummeling and dish it back out.
Hope-->"Tad"  Really?  What kind of a name is Hope?  He is clearly from the Australian outback with a boomerang that FOLDS IN HALF!  When will he learn?  Don't fold boomerangs in two.  But if there's one thing he knows how to do it's rage-out.  Honestly, just watch him cast spells and you' ll see what I mean.  Thus he was affectionately called "Tadpole" and is still referred to as such in bouts of anger but this was shortened to "Tad" to those that know him well.
Vanille-->"Coco 'Shoopuf' Chanel"  Just feels right for someone that can't make up their mind about which accent they want to use.  
Fang-->"Kimahri"  Cause nobody cares about either of them and you hate it when you have to use them.  As well they look similar and both use the same weapons.  Damn Kimahri...
 
Did you refer to the characters by any other names?  List 'em!

#2 Posted by 10MP (311 posts) -

they ask people with cats.

#3 Posted by Symphony (1912 posts) -

Funny post but I completely disagree with the Fang statement... Fang is one of the best characters to use (not to mention has the best voice) in a lot of situations... high dps, debuffer, tank and Highwind is the most overpowered move in the game. Whereas Kimahri really was useless.

#4 Edited by gla55jAw (2693 posts) -

Whenever I see Fang I always think Pain from FFX2 and Vanille's name  I always think is Penelo from FF12.  I like Sazh and Snow as names for those characters a lot.
 
As for Lightning, they explain that it is a code name she gave herself, you find out her real name towards the end of the game. Hope is also explained sort of. There is a reference of him acting like the meaning of his name.

#5 Posted by Cristofyr (16 posts) -

Hope --> As in: We hope people don't notice we recycled Vaan from FFXII.
#6 Posted by evilhomer (429 posts) -

Hope is a dumb name but "Tad" ?...really I think that is even worse.  they should just name the characters Steve, Bob, Jane etc...might as well lol

#7 Posted by hai2u (322 posts) -

Hope and Snow are indeed dumb names but the other ones are fine.

#8 Posted by ZenaxPure (2569 posts) -
@Cristofyr said:
" Hope --> As in: We hope people don't notice we recycled Vaan from FFXII. "
Hell, at least Hope changed and grew as the game went on. Vaan was the same flat and boring teen until Revenant Wings made him more interesting and FFTA2 where he became pretty damn cool imo.
#9 Posted by caseylakes (293 posts) -

Fang is the character I control, I have made her to mad damage to mobs, and she has Bahamut which is always nice.

#10 Posted by floodiastus (1262 posts) -
@10MP said:
" they ask people with cats. "
haha omg, right on the button mate!
#11 Posted by Aus_azn (2224 posts) -
@TethysOssian

 Lightning-->"Lightning" - Eh, her real name suits her far better.
Sazh-->"Shaft" - Uh, wow. That's sort of sad that you thought of that. I thought "Lionel" the moment I saw the afro.
Snow-->"Clay" - I went with Keith. I know a Keith who has that demeanor, minus the morality.
Hope-->"Tad" - No, this kid just deserves to die on so many levels. 
Vanille-->"Coco 'Shoopuf' Chanel" - I call her Ms. ICantMakeUpMyUselessMind because she can't decide whether to stick to Australian, or attempt to fake American.
Fang-->"Kimahri"  - WTF is this? She's probably the BEST character to use in the game IMO. She's my strongest character right now.
#12 Posted by damswedon (3200 posts) -
@Aus_azn said:

"Vanille-->"Coco 'Shoopuf' Chanel" - I call her Ms. ICantMakeUpMyUselessMind because she can't decide whether to stick to Australian, or attempt to fake American "

I know, and guess what the actress that voices her is Australian!!! WTF?  

 Fang-->"Kimahri"  - WTF is this? She's probably the BEST character to use in the game IMO. She's my strongest character right now.

Fang's actress blows my minds, for a person who isn't Australian she can keep an straight Australian accent better than Vanille.

#13 Posted by Computerplayer1 (991 posts) -

Has there ever been a logically named character in Final Fantasy games?
 
Next protagonist will be called Thunder. I'm callin' it.
 
Hell, the way they choose names now, one could be called Racism and another could be called Whale Vagina.

#14 Posted by hai2u (322 posts) -

still, none of them are anywhere near as bad as "Edge Maverick" from star ocean 4. 

#15 Posted by Addfwyn (1942 posts) -

If you aren't using Fang, I don't know what to say.  The character with the highest possible Strength stat, she is easily the best Commando you can possibly use.  Nevermind her Highwind ability.   

#16 Posted by Aus_azn (2224 posts) -
@damswedon said:
" @Aus_azn said:

"Vanille-->"Coco 'Shoopuf' Chanel" - I call her Ms. ICantMakeUpMyUselessMind because she can't decide whether to stick to Australian, or attempt to fake American "

I know, and guess what the actress that voices her is Australian!!! WTF?  

 Fang-->"Kimahri"  - WTF is this? She's probably the BEST character to use in the game IMO. She's my strongest character right now.

Fang's actress blows my minds, for a person who isn't Australian she can keep an straight Australian accent better than Vanille.

"
1. I know, I've figured that much out already, considering that I used to live in Australia. And used to speak like that to boot. I'm not a halfwit. Vanille is just  the most idiotically voiced character.
 
2. My word, if you asked me, I would have guessed she's an Australian. Strangely, she sounds exactly like my cousin. Minus the hackneyed slang.
#17 Posted by Elazul (1327 posts) -

This thread has made me realize that more JRPGs should have Australians in them. They seem to make stuff slightly less lame.

#18 Posted by calum_s_gunn (74 posts) -

I hope to high hell that you're not talking about Vanille.

#19 Posted by Rayeth (1067 posts) -

Fang maybe?  I liked about 2/3rds of her dialogue.
 
Also I really like the accent.  Vanille just needed to shush most of the time.  Seriously half of her dialogue could be replaced with a head nod.

#20 Posted by calum_s_gunn (74 posts) -
@Rayeth said:
" Fang maybe?  I liked about 2/3rds of her dialogue.  Also I really like the accent.  Vanille just needed to shush most of the time.  Seriously half of her dialogue could be replaced with a head nod. "
Definitely. 
 
Also, I've no idea why she's the faux-narrator (narratoress?) of the game. YAAAAY US!
#21 Posted by Zidane_24 (740 posts) -
@TethysOssian said:
Fang-->"Kimahri"  Cause nobody cares about either of them and you hate it when you have to use them.  As well they look similar and both use the same weapons.  Damn Kimahri..."
 
I use Fang in my battle party constantly. The other names are pretty apt, though. Well done.

#22 Posted by xyzygy (10062 posts) -

Fang is awesome, I loved all her dialogue and she is IMO the most versatile character in the game. She has Mediguard as a Sentinel, she has Bravera and Faithra as a Synergist, has the highest DPS as a Commando, has a wide range of Saboteur skills (except Poison). The only thing she's lacking is the Magic power for a Ravager and Medic, but Hope's got me covered there.

#23 Posted by Cerza (1653 posts) -
@SeniorBonerpants said:
" They put a retard in a bag and they make words out of the sounds they make when they hit the bag with bats, also that's how they wrote the story. "
ROFLMAO!!! Oh man you just made my day. Thank you sir!
#24 Posted by Cornman89 (1579 posts) -

Hope would have been acceptable, but they just had to go and fuck it up when Lightning said "you have to have hope" or whatever the hell.

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