I don't do a painted style very often, and it's even more rare that I do a portrait, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
I have GB content in my ears pretty much constantly. This isn't that big of a deal, I've had media playing constantly in the background since I was a child. The Crew just puts out enough stuff that consistently makes me laugh and covers things in a way I care about that it's become a standard part of my life. I never comment or interact much, the site / community hasn't changed my life in any major way, but its been a comfort and a pleasure and I always come to it bright eyed.
On Monday, when I heard the news, my week came to a halt.
It was sort of a surprised to me that it did. Even tho I'm a fan, I didn't think that I was quite so invested in the men behind this site that the news of the passing of one of them would bring me to tears. But so suddenly, so soon after such a joyous event in his life, and the realization that there was not as great an age different between us as I had assumed... When you spend enough time with people, even one-sidedly, I guess you can't help but welcome these people into the your life. Heck, the open frankness that is the Giant Bomb attitude is such a large part of what makes this the place I come for game coverage. It's the people more than that facts.
I only ever had one interaction with the man himself:
Which, even at that hadn't exactly been the best connection. Long hours at work had led me to try and draw members of the Bombcast (Vinny's son, even). But every time I tried to draw Ryan, I wound up with a sketch of what seemed to be a man-onion hybrid character. But days passed and nothing more came of those doodles.
And now, I'm not sure what's appropriate nor even how I should feel. But giving Ryan a proper portrait is the least I can do. It can take it's place among the outpouring of emotion we've all already been seeing. I hesitate to call it a memorial; memorials are built to keep the memory of someone alive. In reality, I think that all that has come in Ryan's wake is us all collectively trying to figure out how we are ever supposed to handle never forgetting him.