Posted by BankyEdwards015 (34 posts) -

A couple of weeks ago I went to my local movie theater to watch "Captain America: The Winter Soldier". When I walked up to buy my ticket the cashier asked me if I wanted regular or D-Box seats. This immediately made me think of Ryan. I have never seen a movie in D-Box but I had to see the movie the way he would have wanted. As the movie starts and things start happening and the chair starts shaking and panning with the camera I couldn't help but shed some tears. This just felt bombastic and stupid how the chair would jerk and jolt with every punch or gun shot; just the way Ryan would have loved it.

It's little everyday experiences like this that make me miss Ryan. Hearing how much he loved or hated something. He always had a beautiful way with words when describing why he loved something. And when something like this movie happen it saddens me to think that he wont be able to enjoy this like I'm sure he would. And we wont be hearing about it on the next Bombcast.

I too was hoping for more of an acknowledgment of Ryan during PAX. However, I completely understand why there is little mention of Ryan on the site anymore. The wound is still too raw.

With the year anniversary coming up I hope the guys do something. It looks like it will be tough with Vinny gong to NY and Patrick out in Chicago. At the very least I would like Jeff to write something up summing up his feelings. I know that is asking for a lot on the personal side of Jeff. I just hope it doesn't go by as just another day...

#1 Edited by The_Nubster (2271 posts) -

@bankyedwards015: I still think about Ryan a lot too. Even now, it's hard to explain to people how I can feel so much about a guy I've never even seen in real life, but he had such an impact on my life and on the lives of so many that it's hard not to care, even now. About Jeff writing something, though, he's already mentioned that he said all he had to say on the memorial podcast they held for Ryan. Jeff just isn't a person to show that side of himself very much, so all we can do is hope that he's handled (and continue to handle) the news as best he can, for himself.

#2 Posted by joshwent (2301 posts) -

At the very least I would like Jeff to write something up summing up his feelings. I know that is asking for a lot on the personal side of Jeff. I just hope it doesn't go by as just another day...

On the site, I honestly hope it does just go by like another day. I'm sure our boards will again be full of lovely remembrances and well-wishes, but I've always appreciated the GB folk's strict line with keeping stuff like their romantic relationships out of their coverage and I think this definitely qualifies too.

Grief is one of the most individually unique and complicated human experiences, so it's important that anyone is free to express it (or not express it) how they need to. I'm sure, for the GB folks at least, no day this past year has gone by like just another.

#3 Posted by csl316 (9037 posts) -

Jeff is under no obligation to write anything, honestly. No one in the crew is.

We have Ryan's work to remember, but his friends have a lot more that's not our business.

#4 Posted by Nodima (1257 posts) -

They've been addressing it more and more frequently - although almost always in vague, hushed tones - as all this hiring business has been ramping up, but I doubt we'll see anything content-wise on the site proper. We know how they all feel, they know how they feel, and they likely want to keep the personal end of things to themselves for quite a while longer.

#5 Posted by Sparklykiss (1983 posts) -

I agree with @csl316 on some of this. I catch myself remembering Ryan constantly and getting insanely bummed out about it immediately afterwards and I've had very brief real-life interactions with him. So I understand how you feel about it, Banky!

But I'm also that person who doesn't like to focus on the "It has been ___ years since this tragic event" and would prefer if we didn't constantly re-open wounds that haven't even fully healed yet. I'm not suggesting that we all move on, definitely far from that. This is a really tough situation but I don't think having Jeff or someone spilling their heart out a year later would give us much closure. I hope that makes sense and I'm incredibly sorry if anything I said came off as heartless or offensive, I promise I'm not trying to be! I'm terrible with topics like this one. :/

Moderator
#6 Posted by CornBREDX (5646 posts) -

Jeff won't be saying anything more about Ryan. He said so on his Tumblr. What he said on the podcast they did after Ryan died was all Jeff wants to say on the subject.

I know death is rough, my father passed away about a month ago now. Beyond that I have seen death a lot in my life, and you will see more of it in your life as well. Shit, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is dead. I mean, seriously, talk about a genius gone to soon! Death is part of life- it's the end game.

You cannot live in the past, though. People you love will die, people you admire will die, and you will always miss them.

It's not like I don't get it, Ryan was a great videogames-man, entertainer, and writer. He's gone now. It's time to move on to greater things. Don't focus on the loss of loved ones all the time or your life will just be full of misery.

I don't say this to be mean. I understand everyone grieves differently, and you can't control remembering your feelings about people you admire. Don't let that take over. Use their memory as a jumping off point- use it to better yourself. Honor them forever, don't mourn them forever. I don't think Ryan would want that anyway.

#7 Edited by alwaysbebombing (1625 posts) -

As a psychology student, I can say that people are handling Ryan's passing really well. It's different for everyone. Some people will remember him sometimes, and feel bad, some will remember him and laugh at all the great shit he did; or a combination of the two. Both are absolutely ok. There's never really a 'moving on' especially when he meant so much to some of us. It's more learning to live with it in a way that doesn't cause problems in our lives.

If you're wondering, Ryan was in a position to effect us on and in some really interesting ways. It's normal to feel like we lost a close friend, even if we never actually met the man. There's plenty of research to understand and support the way that we feel, if you need justification. Dealing with death can be difficult, but there are a plethora of resources that someone can access if we need it. I hope that people who still feel sad can seek someone out to speak with.

Ryan was, and always will be, an awesome duder. It's not about mourning someone's passing, but celebrating their life.

#8 Posted by Brendan (7847 posts) -

I'm not going to lie, in this sweet and touching post there is a hilarious scene of a guy openly weeping beside me in a bouncing D-Box chair watching Captain America.

#9 Edited by billymagnum (837 posts) -

its not a bad thing to move on and not harp on Ryan's passing forever....it doesnt mean you forget about someone or disrespect their memory....you just have to deal and keep going. just have to let go man. with all due respect, i dont really understand why his passing has affected some people here in such a severely negative way and why they still can't seem to have true acceptance of what happened. im no psychology student but even so, there's no way i would say everyone is handling his passing well. for the most part, duders have been and remain awesome but in some cases, in all honesty, it can get a little weird.

im not trying to throw disrespect here. so please try not to take offense.

#10 Posted by dudeglove (8037 posts) -

Wait, what is that bottle of stuff Ryan was drinking in that photo?

#11 Posted by Shortbreadtom (828 posts) -

It is the little things. I think of Ryan whenever a commenter expresses hope that a Sonic game will be anything but middling, personally.

#12 Posted by SPCTRE (247 posts) -

As a psychology student, I can say that people are handling Ryan's passing really well. It's different for everyone. Some people will remember him sometimes, and feel bad, some will remember him and laugh at all the great shit he did; or a combination of the two. Both are absolutely ok. There's never really a 'moving on' especially when he meant so much to some of us. It's more learning to live with it in a way that doesn't cause problems in our lives.

If you're wondering, Ryan was in a position to effect us on and in some really interesting ways. It's normal to feel like we lost a close friend, even if we never actually met the man. There's plenty of research to understand and support the way that we feel, if you need justification. Dealing with death can be difficult, but there are a plethora of resources that someone can access if we need it. I hope that people who still feel sad can seek someone out to speak with.

Ryan was, and always will be, an awesome duder. It's not about mourning someone's passing, but celebrating their life.

This! QFT and all that.