I remember, back in 2008. End of the school year for me, close to graduation. I was listening to GFW Radio religiously. The friend who turned me on to the madness of Jeff Green, Shawn Elliot, Ryan Scott, Anthony Gallegos, and Robert Ashley also threw me a weird podcast: Arrow Pointing Down. All I knew about Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis was that Jeff had recently been fired from Gamespot and Ryan had quit. I didn't have any idea what they looked like. In fact, I pictured them as buff dude-bros based on the sounds of their voices.
Arrow Pointing Down was and is incredible, even going back. The dumb energy drink shit. The weird inside jokes. The obsession with the movie Heat. When they announced Giant Bomb I *knew* it would be my site. My site. I've been a Giant Bomb fanatic since Arrow Pointing Down. The personalities of everyone on staff are so wrapped up in my world view that sometimes I can't tell where their sense of humours and opinions end and mine begins.
I was amongst the first subscribers. No hesitation. That first Big Live Live Show... And later with the red phone. I remember talking to Ryan Davis on it, and being so dumbstruck that I couldn't think of anything witty (or anything at all, really) to say. But I talked to him. It made my month.
Giant Bomb's MO has always been to be as transparent as possible, to the point where us users feel like we know the crew, perhaps a little too well. They are our friends, even if we aren't there's. Ryan's wedding day caused celebration for me too, because I was so goddamned happy for him.
News of his death comes at a particularly rough time for me. My very close cousin died only a few days before Ryan, and just when I felt like I was beginning to cope with that tragedy, this has been laid on top of me. It feels like a punch in the gut and then an incessant stomping on my face.
Giant Bomb needs to continue on, even without him, and it will be hard... I don't know. These guys have been so important to me for so long. I feel so strongly for all of you, friends, family, and fans.
We can make it. I promise.
Rest in Peace Ryan. I'm going to miss you so much, it might hurt for the rest of my life.