So this probably isn't a bug, but it seems like someone might've accessed my account?
My status was set to 'Cheap Ray Bans 85% off!' followed by a link that assuredly does not at all take you to buy cheap Ray Bans.
I'm fairly certain I did not post that, unless I got very drunk and did not remember getting very drunk and then did not remember filling in all my friends on the amazing deal I just got, but I do not have a pair of Ray Bans in my possession so I don't think that's the case.
I'm gonna go change my password now! Thanks!