I feel this reads as more of a one star review than two. Damn this look woeful.

After watching the quick look, I feel like Alex gave this one star too high.

"Sarcastic cleavage" is my new favorite phrase.

quick look?

Also enjoyed with playing Stubbs the Zombie & remember quite well how the dismembering mechanic worked well. Too bad that this is just too damaged to be much fun.

That review is really scathing. I'm sure the game sucks, but forcing yourself to trudge through a game you don't like probably skews the review somewhat. I haven't played it so I can't really comment on the quality of the game, but I would've though it would have a few redeeming aspects, rather than being downright antagonistic. There were more criticisms in the header than compliments in the review as far as I can tell. That said, it's a personal review and it's done its job, I doubt I'll get NeverDead. There are probably ways of conveying the messages of "don't buy this game" and "I didn't enjoy this" without going for the jugular quite so much.

Can't say I'm really surprised by this.

Seems like a poor game, But was it better than Robocop for the Xbox?

Why does Alex review all the bad games?

Why does Alex review all the bad games?

@limecloud said:

Were there really people out there who were excited for this game?

Really?

Excited? No. Endlessly intrigued? Of course. I thought that the game was about pulling your WHOLE body apart, though. That you could, say, rip your own arm off and play as a flailing arm to crawl through airvents, or put yourself back together with legs where your arms should be and punch-kick people to death. ...no. It's just a DMC-esque shoot-a-slash thing where your head falls off. Y'see? The concept could have been pulled off really well.

It looks like my skepticism of the final product was well worn. I'm not surprised, but I'm still disappointed.

I don't really understand why so many good developers get dismantled but Rebellion is still in business.

That's too bad. I was hoping this game would turn out well.

It's also disheartening to hear that the analog stick controlled swordsmanship didn't turn out well either; since I assume it's the same mechanic that Metal Gear Rising will be using. (Since both are Konami published games, and therefore probably their tech.) Hopefully Platinum Games will be able to refine and hone the mechanic and do better things with it ... I have faith in them, (I'm a huge Bayonetta fan, if you couldn't tell ;) ) which is more then I can say for Rebellion.

I must also make mention of one thing: Although I'm sure this game is indeed as terrible as you say it is Alex, I can't help but feel you made one too many comparisons to Suda51's games. Who ever said this was meant to be competition to his games? I can see the similarities between this and Shadows of The Damned, but I don't ever recall reading anything that says this game is inspired by it or meant to be compared to it. I could be wrong though, and this is just my opinion.

That being said, it's still a disappointment that this game sucks so much. Chalk up the first disappointing retail game of 2012 that I was looking forward too.

Such a shame. Though part of me still wants to pick this up when it reaches DNF pricing.

One of these days Alex they'll give you a good game to review.

Were there really people out there who were excited for this game?

Really?

But... what?! No quick-look?! Didn't Ryan say there would be quick-look of this game on "I love Mondays"?!

Oh well.. Read through the review and it saddened me a lot. Such a shame.

The one good thing about crappy games? Alex Navarro vomiting acidic blood all over them.

@Freshbandito said:

@WilltheMagicAsian: what he's saying is that this is the mutual inverse, a western developer trying to cater to a japanese style of game (suda51 games) and failing much like when japanese developers try to make gears of war and make something awful and that this shows that all developers should maybe just stick to what they do well and leave cultural game stylings to their particular culture

Thanks for clarifying that for those who misunderstood my point. Cheers.

also @NuDimon: flagged for your reference.

If Alex's personal life is anything like his professional life I assume he's run up some bills at various underground New York S&M dungeons. The guy certainly seems to be drawn to pain.

@iAmJohn said:

I would also just like to point out that I think the whole "questioning why something is a two-star review instead of a one-star review" thing is silly and beside the point. What is the difference if it's "irredeemably awful" or "awful, but not the kind of awful that made me want to dump acid in my eyes"? All that matters is that Alex is telling you not to play it, guys.

Yeah, we should get rid of scores and call something just good or just bad...sigh.

I don't have an interest in this game and I never have, and I appreciate that this review is serious purchasing advice for you. I guess I'm more interested in the actual criticism and 2-stars would indicate some level of positivity, no matter how small, to earn that second star. I didn't feel it was explained in the text and there was some incongruence there, but there was clearly something to earn that star so I thought maybe I could ask. Alex answered and I thank him for it.

I guess I could be wrong though and criticism should have no part in reviews. A stamp of 'seek out' or 'avoid' is all anyone really needs anyway. It's not like film reviews moved away from technical reviews into actual criticism once the art form was established, and game reviews certainly won't go the same way.

@ajamafalous said:

Not to be that guy that nitpicks review scores, but with zero (unless I missed something) positive things said about this game, shouldn't it be only one star? Either way, good on you, Alex.

He's already stated why he didn't give it one star. Essentially the game is mediocre in every respect, but it's not actively broken and unplayable.

I was hoping for another Stubbs the Zombie with the dismemberment mechanic, but this game seems like it forgot to make a fun game around that.

Alex delivers another hilarious review, I feel like I share your pain.

Rebellion, how far they've fallen. Shellshock 2, Rogue Warrior, AvP 3 and now Neverdead. Garbage bin games. Actually, they've only made 2 decent games, Rogue Trooper, and AvP 1.

Aw man I was so looking forward to this game.

Joking aside, looking at all the criticisms Alex provided, I can't help but think why did it deserve two stars?

Awww... :(

I expected so much more out of this one :/

This is such a shame, I remember really liking the concept of the game when it was announced.

Not to be that guy that nitpicks review scores, but with zero (unless I missed something) positive things said about this game, shouldn't it be only one star? 
 
 
 
Either way, good on you, Alex.

Its a Rebellion game. What'd you expect?

They made Rogue Warrior. The only really good part is the credits, not because it's over, but because the slapped all of Mickey Rourke's one liners onto some beats while the credits play.

I also gave it 2 stars... I dunno, the game just oozes 'two-ness'.

@SaturdayNightSpecials: I think Konami had a lot of control over it, though, and outsourced the heavy lifting. Developed by Rebellion, but it seems like most of the creative side was done in Japan.

Rebellion made two of my absolute favourite games of the last gen - Sniper Elite and Rogue Trooper were fun, with really interesting and original gameplay mechanics. It's been a long time since they put out anything that good, and they're on a long streak of turning out complete shit, now. This, AvP, Rogue Warrior, Shellsock 2, World Championship Darts for the Wii, FFS.

Why do you do this to yourself?

This game isn't bad, but two stars is fitting. The game is most fun when you're fighting lower level enemies, and having to deal with putting yourself back together. Where the game falls apart is when they also throw on one-hit dismemberment bosses that pound you over and over, or they attempt to translate the dismemberment into a long-winded mechanic. Doing stuff like throwing your head in a vent to get to a new area and respawn works, but it's when they want you to light yourself on fire and make your way through a needlessly confusing and dark subway tunnel while fighting enemies, is where the game falls apart.

I like this game's style. It's enjoyable, but falls just under average in some respects.

Also to be honest, the shooting is fine. It has the same issue with Red Faction: Armageddon, in that you need to crank up the sensitivity because it's too low, but the sword combat works for the most part once you get the hang of it.

@Freshbandito: Yeah I see that now, my bad.

God damn, I love reading Alex reviews.

@WilltheMagicAsian: what he's saying is that this is the mutual inverse, a western developer trying to cater to a japanese style of game (suda51 games) and failing much like when japanese developers try to make gears of war and make something awful and that this shows that all developers should maybe just stick to what they do well and leave cultural game stylings to their particular culture

I didn't think this game was actually going to get a review, but I guess the trend of Alex playing garbage games continues?

Poor Alax always getting the bad games.

@Stahlbrand: So when did Rebellion become Japanese developers?

So, by proving the mutual inverse of the hypothesis that Japanese developers can't try to cater to Western tastes without embarrassing everybody involved, can we postulate therefore that developers should stick to their strengths, or at least never try to adopt the trappings of developers with distinctly different contexts?

Err...at least the screenshots posted look pretty, a lot of the shader work looks really damn good. That said, not gonna buy this in a million years.

"And that band… is Megadeth."

All that flak and 2 stars? Sounds like it deserved no more than 1.

@theodacourt said:

This definitely sounds like a one or zero star game. What redeeming features does it have? (or doesn't it have any?)

@MildMolasses said:

Reading this review, I don't understand where the second star came from. It reads like a one star review

Because you asked:

@Alex said:

@kerikxi: I considered [giving it one star], but stacking it up against games like Blackwater, Velvet Assassin, and everything else that's gotten a one star review around here, I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. I dislike this game rather vehemently, but I can't call it the kind of soul-sucking clusterfuck that those other games most certainly are. It's a bad game with few redeeming qualities, but it's not a thermonuclear disaster, either.

I would also just like to point out that I think the whole "questioning why something is a two-star review instead of a one-star review" thing is silly and beside the point. What is the difference if it's "irredeemably awful" or "awful, but not the kind of awful that made me want to dump acid in my eyes"? All that matters is that Alex is telling you not to play it, guys.

Reading this review, I don't understand where the second star came from. It reads like a one star review

@steelknight2000: the song is in this trailer here

Damn, all these years later and poor Alex still has to review these shitty games.

This definitely sounds like a one or zero star game. What redeeming features does it have? (or doesn't it have any?)

Does the game at least use the Megadeth song in any meaningful way? It's not their best work, but it's better than this fucking game.