Bummer. The visuals were really cool. Now make Bloodforge 2 playable and fun. Shouldn't be too hard.

Just don't make Bloodforge 2.

So, Bloodforge II: Bloodforger confirmed?

Thanks for playing it so I dont have to =)

I never asked for this.

After Fez and Trials Evolution, they give us this turd.

I tried to watch the Quick Look that Jeff and Brad did of this massive clusterfuck of diarrhea. Quite literally 7 minutes in I was on the verge of getting a massive headache because of the wobble cam. Kane and Lynch 2 did it as well, and all footage I saw of that game made me feel ill as well.

Why in the fuck do developers insist on making people ill shaky cams and limited FoV? The fuck is this?

Garshasp Forever, bro.

Can we get Alex his review caricature variants? He's earned them.

On paper this game sounds terrible, and surely MS played it before pumping the 'Arcade Next' marketing money into it? Why was this not replaced with Fez, or Walking Dead?

this game looked ok from the quicklook,might pick iy up if it ever gets cheap.

I'm shocked! SHOCKED, I say!

@Napalm: Nope, not yet. But they did manage to somehow confirm Bloodforge III: The Bloodforgiest already. Not sure how that works exactly.

@Bgrngod: Wouldn't that be Bloodforge with a Bloodvengeance? Followed By Live free or Bloodforge hard I'd imagine... I apologise.

I'm Crom, hear me roar.

Roaaar.

i love how Alex's avatar never really changes. Good or bad Alex Navarro always wants to shoot something! 

I didn't think the QL looked too, too bad. There seemed to be enjoyable elements. I think I'll pick it up after I'm done with the Witcher 2 for a few hours of mindlessness.

Saw the description for the review. Knew it was Alex. Alex you poor bastard. Turned into a review robot for mediocre to bad video games. Not much man left in that husk.

I watched the QL for this, and while I am usually not one to judge games too harshly before playing them myself, this looks abysmal. Seriously, that goddamn camera was losing its mind every step of the way. Not to mention the combat looked really choppy and unsatisfying. I'm not sure what the appeal or purpose of a character action game is when it can't even get the core component of that entire genre to be any good.

Reading this review, I'm kind of shocked Alex even gave it 2 stars.

the only reviews I read are alex's shitty game reviews

This was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Thank you for playing this anal fissure of a game so that I don't have to.

what a shame, this kinda looked good but i was never gonna pay 1200 points for it.

What I actually want to know is, how Crom's marriage was.

I mean seriously look at this guy and tell me looks doesn't like a loving husband and father. He seems so cromantic (sorry). I just want to see him come home after a long hard day of...whatever he did before, depositing his antler-skull, kiss his wife and scream his child to bed.

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

Alex deserves a good game to review..give him Painkiller Reocurring EVIL. (Actually I am kind of enjoying it, but the game seems determined to start me off on a another lower difficulty for the next chapter..if I am understanding the page right).

Come on, man, how could you miss out on calling it "hackney-and-slash?"

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

@planetary said:

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

@darkjester74 said:

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

God almighty, every fucking time there's a two-star review.

This game's problems outweigh its good qualities.

This game will make you wish you had died in a fire moments before turning it on.

The game is bad and has issues, but it is not broken, built on a horrid foundation or morally reprehensible. Why do you people care so much about whether or not it's a 2 or a 1?

GARSHASP!

I guess some people like black-and-brown 2-button smashers? I don't know who those people are, but I assume they exist. Other than the camera, the game doesn't look completely broken or totally unplayable, so yeah... 2 stars.

The art design kinda reminded me of Slainé from 2000AD and I'm bummed it kinda sucks.

@iAmJohn said:

@planetary said:

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

@darkjester74 said:

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

God almighty, every fucking time there's a two-star review.

This game's problems outweigh its good qualities.

This game will make you wish you had died in a fire moments before turning it on.

The game is bad and has issues, but it is not broken, built on a horrid foundation or morally reprehensible. Why do you people care so much about whether or not it's a 2 or a 1?

Thank you for quoting the relevant parts of the scale. Did you see Alex call attention to any good qualities? (The review is very well written, BTW. I just question how the score maps to the text.)

And I think we should care because (1) words mean things, and being precise matters, and (2) if your rating scale has two scores that basically mean the same thing to a chunk of the audience, then the scale is likely either broken, or not properly communicated.

@shodan2020 said:

GARSHASP!

right on, brother.

Alex , stop playing bad games ! :P

The review score shoulda been more like NEGATIVE 1...amirite...guys?

What exactly are the redeeming features of this game? The review reads extremely negative, which is probably true. However, I'm pretty sure that a two star game is supposed to have some sort of appeal to someone. Does this appeal to anyone? Otherwise I see this as a 1-star review.

It was really unnecessary for God of War to spawn a new genre of God of War clones...

serious question:

if GB does say one game review a week, why pick the most obvious turd out there?

fun read as always, Alex

this line pretty much sums up one of the more major problems (out of many) in Ninja Gaiden 3

There is a huge difference between making an enemy tough and making an enemy a laborious chore to kill

@toots said:

serious question:

if GB does say one game review a week, why pick the most obvious turd out there?

Cause it's fun to hate!

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

I don't think that is how reviewer jobs work.

Most of what he says seems fair judging from what the Quicklook showed.

Just the mention of this game is making me a little woozy.

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Which part should he be ashamed of? Reviewing a game he didn't like?

These guys review games they don't want to play all the time. It's a job, not a hobby. Alex does a good job of humorously going down the laundry list of problems with this shitty game.

@AiurFlux:

BTW, Kane and Lynch 2 has an option to turn off the shakey cam. If you haven't tried the game out yet, turning the steady cam on can help with that :P

I'm just glad Alex answered the question I left in the QL.

Who asked for this game? Nobody.

@SpunkyHePanda said:

Can we get Alex his review caricature variants? He's earned them.

Gonna have to second/Amen this. C'mon, son(s).

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Dude, what about this review is shameful? You're saying the game is atrocious, but going 2/5 stars is too far? It's like you're forgetting that things in this world are subjective. Maybe you're on the high end of the scale when it comes to peoples ranging opinions about Bloodforge, here. Keep your mind open, amigo. Ugh...

Would love to see the meeting where this game got green lit.

@UnrealDP: Whilst I think the review reads fine, the point Enigma777 was probably making was that he/she considers the review to be badly written, not that the review score is incorrect. There is a significant difference in these criticisms. Furthermore, @Scotto, you are correct, reviewing games is their job and not a hobby, so the review content should be significantly more professional and informative than the musings of a hobbyist - Enigma777 is perfectly entitled to expect more from the written content of a Giantbomb review.