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Posted by Enigma_2099

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Who the hell died and made you editor in chief? If the review is accurate, why does it matter how he wrote it? You're not even bitching about having a different opinion of the game.

Why did we have to have similar usernames?

Posted by Enigma_2099

First I get Alex back from Harmonix, then I see they're still torturing him with reviewing subpar and bad games...

... why am I smiling right now?

Posted by KamikazeCaterpillar

@august: Fair enough sir.

Posted by august

@KamikazeCaterpillar said:

Why doesn't Alex ever review good games?

Because it's not as funny that way.

Posted by Alex

@Valdarez: The hell are you talking about? In the opening cutscene, he absolutely 100% stabs his own wife because whatever god was screwing with him made her look like an enemy soldier.

Staff
Posted by Valdarez

Followed you for what, nearly a decade since GameSpot. Disappointed in this review and the general quality since Gamespot reviewers went to drop the GiantBomb. Not all the way through yet, but at the start, you definitely didn't kill your own wife. Perhaps that's a spoiler you let go? Dunno, either way, boo Alex, heavy boo.

Posted by KamikazeCaterpillar

Why doesn't Alex ever review good games?

Posted by oneidwille

I assume Bloodforge: The Second would be the next logical title...hell, logic probably wouldn't work into it. Bloodforger the Reckoning...there we go.

Posted by TEHMAXXORZ

I knew this game was going to be fucking terrible the second I saw it...

Posted by UnrealDP

@DarkidRising: And I'm entitled to enjoying the content when it's good. I disagree on the review being poorly written if that's what he's getting at, but I guess it's just a subjective thing or something. I like the way it's written and maybe I'm just into Alex's writing style, but I do think there's a time and a place for telling people to be ashamed of themselves and calling things terrible, and the comments on a review most people enjoy and don't see a problem with is not one of them. Being hyperbolic is one thing, but being a bit of a drama queen is another.

Posted by MordeaniisChaos

I think it looks cool just to witness. I actually dig the extreme end of the spectrum the game went to with it's visuals, which I think look pretty cool. But then, I appreciate Norway's influence on the death metal scene probably more than most do so I can see it getting annoying. The camera other than catching on things it should catch on occasionally seems fine. I didn't feel sick from it, I kind of liked it actually. It helped sell the "Jesus this place is the worst, what is this, hell?" motif of the game. Plus the blood really pops, which looks bad ass after you slaughter a bunch of enemies and the ground is just COVERED in blood.

Not saying it's good game, just that I'm interested in experiencing it just to see heads explode (I'm pretty resilient to gore, having seen plenty of actual gore, but that head exploded monster in the QL made me a little uncomfortable, but in an awesome way. It looks metal, but not in that "oh look at us we're edgy" way but in a "we live in a rainy northern European country and we probably sacrifice people to the blood gods" kind of way. Which is unusual in games. At least unusual for it to be taken seriously.

Posted by devilzrule27

@mabber36: They are always fantastic. No one conveys the terribleness of a game better then Alex.

Posted by Korolev

Oh alex. They roped you in to play this one too? There should be a Premium video called "Navarro's Revenge!" in which he forces Jeff, Ryan, Brad and Vinny to play through all the crap he has had to review for a minimum of 2 hours.

Posted by DarkidRising

@UnrealDP: Whilst I think the review reads fine, the point Enigma777 was probably making was that he/she considers the review to be badly written, not that the review score is incorrect. There is a significant difference in these criticisms. Furthermore, , you are correct, reviewing games is their job and not a hobby, so the review content should be significantly more professional and informative than the musings of a hobbyist - Enigma777 is perfectly entitled to expect more from the written content of a Giantbomb review.

Posted by Chris2KLee

Would love to see the meeting where this game got green lit.

Posted by UnrealDP

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Dude, what about this review is shameful? You're saying the game is atrocious, but going 2/5 stars is too far? It's like you're forgetting that things in this world are subjective. Maybe you're on the high end of the scale when it comes to peoples ranging opinions about Bloodforge, here. Keep your mind open, amigo. Ugh...

Posted by DS23

@SpunkyHePanda said:

Can we get Alex his review caricature variants? He's earned them.

Gonna have to second/Amen this. C'mon, son(s).

Posted by buffaloseven

I'm just glad Alex answered the question I left in the QL.

Who asked for this game? Nobody.

Posted by Live2bRighteous

@AiurFlux:

BTW, Kane and Lynch 2 has an option to turn off the shakey cam. If you haven't tried the game out yet, turning the steady cam on can help with that :P

Posted by Scotto

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Which part should he be ashamed of? Reviewing a game he didn't like?

These guys review games they don't want to play all the time. It's a job, not a hobby. Alex does a good job of humorously going down the laundry list of problems with this shitty game.

Posted by Dark_Lord_Spam

Just the mention of this game is making me a little woozy.

Posted by Mumrik

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

I don't think that is how reviewer jobs work.

Most of what he says seems fair judging from what the Quicklook showed.

Posted by Enigma777

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Posted by TheDudeOfGaming

@toots said:

serious question:

if GB does say one game review a week, why pick the most obvious turd out there?

Cause it's fun to hate!

Posted by AjayRaz

fun read as always, Alex

this line pretty much sums up one of the more major problems (out of many) in Ninja Gaiden 3

There is a huge difference between making an enemy tough and making an enemy a laborious chore to kill
Posted by toots

serious question:

if GB does say one game review a week, why pick the most obvious turd out there?

Posted by AndrewB

It was really unnecessary for God of War to spawn a new genre of God of War clones...

Posted by Bass

What exactly are the redeeming features of this game? The review reads extremely negative, which is probably true. However, I'm pretty sure that a two star game is supposed to have some sort of appeal to someone. Does this appeal to anyone? Otherwise I see this as a 1-star review.

Posted by DoctorWelch

The review score shoulda been more like NEGATIVE 1...amirite...guys?

Posted by spankingaddict

Alex , stop playing bad games ! :P

Posted by UberExplodey

@shodan2020 said:

GARSHASP!

right on, brother.

Edited by planetary

@iAmJohn said:

@planetary said:

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

@darkjester74 said:

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

God almighty, every fucking time there's a two-star review.

This game's problems outweigh its good qualities.

This game will make you wish you had died in a fire moments before turning it on.

The game is bad and has issues, but it is not broken, built on a horrid foundation or morally reprehensible. Why do you people care so much about whether or not it's a 2 or a 1?

Thank you for quoting the relevant parts of the scale. Did you see Alex call attention to any good qualities? (The review is very well written, BTW. I just question how the score maps to the text.)

And I think we should care because (1) words mean things, and being precise matters, and (2) if your rating scale has two scores that basically mean the same thing to a chunk of the audience, then the scale is likely either broken, or not properly communicated.

Posted by Nevi

The art design kinda reminded me of Slainé from 2000AD and I'm bummed it kinda sucks.

Edited by DSale

I guess some people like black-and-brown 2-button smashers? I don't know who those people are, but I assume they exist. Other than the camera, the game doesn't look completely broken or totally unplayable, so yeah... 2 stars.

Edited by shodan2020
Posted by iAmJohn

@planetary said:

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

@darkjester74 said:

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

God almighty, every fucking time there's a two-star review.

This game's problems outweigh its good qualities.

This game will make you wish you had died in a fire moments before turning it on.

The game is bad and has issues, but it is not broken, built on a horrid foundation or morally reprehensible. Why do you people care so much about whether or not it's a 2 or a 1?

Posted by darkjester74

This reads like a one star review. Oh well.

It has Alex in the by-line, so I already know its 2 stars or lower. ;-)

Posted by LordKorax

Come on, man, how could you miss out on calling it "hackney-and-slash?"

Posted by bybeach

Alex deserves a good game to review..give him Painkiller Reocurring EVIL. (Actually I am kind of enjoying it, but the game seems determined to start me off on a another lower difficulty for the next chapter..if I am understanding the page right).

Posted by planetary

This reads like a one-star review. Was there anything redeeming about this game?

Edited by Abendlaender

What I actually want to know is, how Crom's marriage was.

I mean seriously look at this guy and tell me looks doesn't like a loving husband and father. He seems so cromantic (sorry). I just want to see him come home after a long hard day of...whatever he did before, depositing his antler-skull, kiss his wife and scream his child to bed.

Posted by aseddon130

what a shame, this kinda looked good but i was never gonna pay 1200 points for it.

Posted by Feces_Pieces

This was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Thank you for playing this anal fissure of a game so that I don't have to.

Posted by mabber36

the only reviews I read are alex's shitty game reviews

Posted by OneKillWonder_

I watched the QL for this, and while I am usually not one to judge games too harshly before playing them myself, this looks abysmal. Seriously, that goddamn camera was losing its mind every step of the way. Not to mention the combat looked really choppy and unsatisfying. I'm not sure what the appeal or purpose of a character action game is when it can't even get the core component of that entire genre to be any good.

Reading this review, I'm kind of shocked Alex even gave it 2 stars.

Posted by chilibean_3

Saw the description for the review. Knew it was Alex. Alex you poor bastard. Turned into a review robot for mediocre to bad video games. Not much man left in that husk.

Posted by Robopengy

I didn't think the QL looked too, too bad. There seemed to be enjoyable elements. I think I'll pick it up after I'm done with the Witcher 2 for a few hours of mindlessness.

Posted by Jackel2072

i love how Alex's avatar never really changes. Good or bad Alex Navarro always wants to shoot something! 

Posted by JoeyRavn

I'm Crom, hear me roar.

Roaaar.

Posted by Wampa1

@Bgrngod: Wouldn't that be Bloodforge with a Bloodvengeance? Followed By Live free or Bloodforge hard I'd imagine... I apologise.

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