halo is a really fun game though
halo is a really fun game though
What an absolutely wonderful read.
@wuddel: @draugen: @masterofpenguins_zell: @tru3_blu3: @pezen: Thanks for your attention and thoughtful responses. I posted this here on Giant Bomb because I thought it might resonate with the community here. Glad to see I was correct. Also glad to see some old faces are still around, those guys probably understand this piece more than most, having known me, in a sense, before.
Tru3_blu3, I'd urge you to take another look at the piece. Skill comes through practice, time, and dedication. To assume that everyone who has come before has some advantage over you is doing yourself a terrible disservice. You want to write? Write. Write about videogames, write about girls, write about pessimism. Write about whatever. It might be terrible, but you'll get better. Write until you can write. Climb until you can climb.
Don't worry about the falls.
When, I read this I see my 20 something self. I am 34 now, and while my life really hasn't changed all that much, my views have. The fascination all young men have with death. Not because they glorify it, but it is the last undiscovered frontier, and ever will be. I talked with a good friend (35) about this and he had the same feelings.
I think around 30 you come to terms with two things: You will always change and you probably will not grow up to be a rockstar. On the other hand you really start to appreciate your meaningless life.
“We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting.” - Kahlil Gibran
(this is totally out of Civ5 but it fits) Maybe because I am a scientist I view the world differently. There is so much, to learn and to discover. If you could see the inner workings and structure of a blade of grass in atomic detail with your own eyes you probably would break into tears of joy, for the excruciating beautiful chaos you just experienced. Not sure where I am going with this, but I want to soak it all in. All the life that is given to me.
For a few years I had a similar outlet. Pretty simple. I ran. I actually ran a marathon. I did not stick sadly. (the PhD crunch kills you) I am severely overweight again - but I know I can do it again, and spend the rest of my life solving the greatest mystery there is to me: women
Hey Lies great post. Everyone needs something that they can press on to, a goal to achieve, anything. We all find it someday. Some of us are fortunate enough to find that purpose, or goal sooner than others. Personally I believe I have NO outstanding skills whatsoever, and its fine because I do believe that a strong will, hard work and determination and maybe little bit of intelligence can get us one step closer to somewhere. We all just got to keep our heads up and drive on.
Ah, 20... I remember 20, and thinking much the same way you do. Military service was my rock climbing. After some initial problems, I decided that I was going to be a good soldier. And I was. Did my job, and never said no. Always the first to volunteer when it was asked for. My service time came and went, and I was back in civilian life, where a chilling realisation came over me.
I hadn't become a better man, I hadn't realised something profound that would help me later in life. I'd been a part of something special, and I'll always look back on my time in the army as some of the best in my life so far. But I was still me. The same person I was before I joined.
Sure, like climbing, it was a better use of my time than playing video games, but if you look at it with a synical eye, it was still wasted in a way.
Today, many years later, I've come to see our alloted time in a different light. The only time that isn't wasted in a smaller or larger degree is the one where you leave an impression in the sand.
Raise your children, create a work of art, save a life, or at least work to improve the quality of it. Everything else, either its climbing, video gaming or soldiering, won't really matter in the end.
Wow! THAT is a post! Keep this up, man!
As a dude who works in fitness, climbers are impressive to me. Takes some serious, unwavering focus to do that stuff.
You sir.... are amazing. I enjoy articles like this and will look for your writing in the future.
That was an inspiring and reflective piece of writing; something that made me think about the life I'm leading. To be more precise, the little piece on the guy who jumped off the Golden Gate bridge, plus your reflection on being a climber made me realize that everything can be fixed if I work the problem.
Your prose is enthralling.
Finely written bit of personal catharsis.
Your first paragraph depressed me, mainly because I wish I could be 20 again and fix all the screw-ups I've made. Otherwise it was a great read
'Coming to terms with my life' pieces 99% of the time are either uninteresting or poorly written. Yours is neither. Well done and keep at it.
Absolutely great read. I'm 19 and pretty hopeless. No outstanding talents, no social life and not much of interest other than video games. A difference between me and the OP is that I am extremely resistant to the idea of seeking improvement and I find myself content with lamenting about my miserable life.
That was a wonderful piece, thought provoking in all the right ways. You also helped me to cement the idea that I need more hobbies. More things that I can work towards and enjoy. Things that can hopefully make me feel as if I've accomplished something important, even if what I've done doesn't really matter to anyone but me.
Very nicely written. Keep writing!
Great read, makes me think about what a waste my own life has felt like lately and how i could change that. Someday id love to wake up and feel like i am where i want to be.
So nice to find this. Amazingly written, relatable. Wish I could have your skill to write something to respond.
Making me think about life. Making me melancholy. Is it good or bad I don't know...
I always thought that doing such monotonous and repetitive activities such as climbing were, well, a non-interesting waste of time. But then I again I'm sitting over here playing video games so.....
To each their own.
Awesome post man! I loved it and saved it for later analysis.
I can relate to a lot of those feelings, and
The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
-Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus
That's exactly how I feel! Although it is hard sometimes...
Fist bump to my fellow climbers. May your vertical struggles be safe and rewarding. And for those of you who haven't tied in or topped out, I heartily encourage you to get out there and feel how truly inspiring the activity can be. Most of us don't write as well as this climber, but his words are a reflection of what I, and I'm sure most other climbers, have felt.
Thank you Lies, for sharing.
This is part of why I'm so glad I grew up in an actively religious family. From a young age my life has had purpose, and I know what kind of things I aim for in the long run and what I need to do to get there. It doesn't define every single step in my life, but it sure gives me direction and focus. I'm super grateful for that.
"Then this asshole went to start this problem that's given me so much trouble, grabbed the starting hold, and proceeded to climb the entire problem using only his hands.
I was frustrated. But even more, I found myself thinking damn, I want to be able to do that."
Likewise after reading this; only instead being frustrated as being an uncompetitive human who wants to achieve things that cannot be achieved, no matter how many books or texts he reads to become even a mediocre writer. The sad truth about this article is that no matter the efforts, the people who have done things before you will always be better than you and will always obtain the dreams they desire. You will, or at least us, will forever be nothing but filth to the eyes of man's nature as time is a linear course.
Hope you enjoyed reading this poorly written response.
Making every day activities into interesting pieces of text is an art form I've always admired. I agree you need to do things to have something to write about, but it's an even better gift to be able to frame the events that surround you in a compelling matter. Whatever the event might be is completely irrelevant. Really good read. Issues I think about on a daily basis.
I'm pretty curious why the notion of going off the road with ones car at times seems like such a curiosity. Many times if I cross a bridge I find myself thinking how it would be to speed up and go off it into the depths below. How many seconds of regret would I experience? Or would it feel liberating?
I think some of us are just growing up without a complete sense of purpose. We waste time because we lack a goal, so we have nothing to work toward. By the time we realize we should have done something, we find ourselves deep into marriages, with kids or simply too old to start over. And so we accept wasting time doing every day routines and hope to fulfill the void with it. Because we dare not break the pattern.
Recently I began pondering about a lot of these issues. How would I enrich my life by trying to do the things I wish to succeed in. My problem is that my interests and wills are like an Octopus reaching in all directions with little effort to focus. Besides that, I find myself wondering if I should strive for personal success or try to work to help humanity achieve something instead. I always liked that notion in Star Trek. To better yourself and help improve the lives of all by bringing helpful rather than hurtful innovation and thinking to everyone. But some days I simply don't like humanity and the way we all treat each other. And would I really want to help such people?
But, that's still me imagining myself being of importance, which is little more than wishful thinking on my part.
Rock climbing always seemed fun, too bad I have developed this fear of heights over the years.
Great blog. I was pretty depressed when I was around 20, too. Kinda fucked up, to think the last thing suicide-ees might be thinking is "fuck, everything else was fixable."
I've been running instead of rock-climbing. I would climb, but there aren't even any indoor rock-walls around me. Sucks. I prefer to just climb random trees and shit, anyway, I think. There's just this urge I get looking at trees or buildings that my brain's just like "you should go climb that shit." I'd probably actually climb some of those buildings if I wasn't a grown ass man. Stupid society and its taboos.
I think my favorite aspect of this blog is that it flies in the face of the lie of, "As long as you enjoyed your wasted time it's not wasted."
Great read! I was really drawn into it. Glad you found rock climbing!
This was really well written, you've got a golden pen sir.
I feel better having read this. Glad you're still doing OK, Lies.
You have nailed the first part of being a great writer, which is to be an interesting person who has done and seen some interesting shit. I'm quite envious. I don't think scaling a rock is quite for me, but there's definitely something to be said about just getting out there and expanding your worldview to lend that extra bit of credence and maturity to your text. Amazing piece.
So are you done with games then? Sounds like you found something more fulfilling.
This is amazingly well written. Thank you for such a fine read. Absolutely loved this.
This is probably the most contemplative and earnest piece of writing I've encountered on this site. Bravo.
Maaaan, this is fantastic. Best thing I've read all week, well done man, keep up the good work.
Very well written and a very interesting topic. Nice work duder.
Very nicely written, keep climbing.
Great read, well done. I considered starting to climb a few years ago and this might be the thing to make me start.
I will read more of what you have to put down. Feed me your words.
This was a great read. I somehow found myself relating to it even though I'm quite happy with my life and don't really have any regrets. Strange. Good job dude!
Normally I find any type of long form serious writing on forums seem like they're trying too hard to be profound. This wasn't though. Sincere and thought provoking. Good read.
A lot of your writing reminds me strongly of Charles Bukowski.
That is an incredible thing, and you are clearly a talented writer.
Wow, duder. Well done.
That hit really close to home. As a newly started climber myself, I absolutely got what you were talking about. The reflections of why you climb are eerily the same as my own.